Addicted to Love
by Madame Atomic Bomb
Summary: Zuko's councilors have decided that he's going to find a wife-whether he wants to or not. Meanwhile, Suki is torn between her budding feelings for Zuko, and a strained relationship with a mysteriously absent Sokka. Who will she choose, and what does Sokka have to do with a plot to assassinate Zuko? Zuko/Suki, Suki/Sokka, Sokka/Azula
1. Part I

**PART I:**

* * *

"Do you know how to dance?" Zuko asked her point-blank as she entered his suite with a knock. Suki stopped dead in her tracks in confusion and stared at him.

Zuko was standing in the middle of the room with a panicked look on his face, a crumpled scroll in his fist.

Suki's painted eyebrow went up as she slowly closed the door behind her. "Yeah. Why?"

"Because they expect me to dance at this…this thing and I don't dance!"

A grin broke out over her face as she stared at him, wild with panic. "And how did a member of the royal family, who had the best teachers, the best instructors and the best upbringing, manage to avoid both learning how to dance, and doing it in a public setting?"

"Are you laughing at me?" Zuko demanded as she approached him and took the scroll from his hand.

"Maybe a little," she said, scanning the scroll. "So this is what's got all the generals and nobles in a tizzy. Does this have anything to do with the plan to marry you off?"

Zuko scrubbed his hands over his face. "Let's put it this way, invitations have been sent out to every single woman of high birth in the Fire Nation aged seventeen to thirty. My council wants me married off yesterday and producing heirs last week."

"You look like you're panicking."

"I'm finding it a little hard to breathe," he admitted, pacing back and forth in front of her.

"That's understandable. After all, how can you breathe with no heir?"

Zuko stopped in his tracks and swiveled on her. "That's not funny."

Suki grinned at him. "It was a little funny."

"Shut up," he said, fighting a smile. He took the paper back from her and bent over it at her side. "When they brought up the idea, I just… I didn't think they'd do it. I didn't think they'd…pimp me out like this."

"No one's pimping you out, Zuko. They're not going to make you marry anyone you don't want to."

"They would if they could," he groused, scanning the invitation again with an obsessive expression on his face. "The Council has been pressuring me to marry someone, anyone, for two years now. Ever since Mai and I broke up."

Suki noted the absence of bitterness in his voice as he said his ex-girlfriend's name. Once up on a time, that had not been the case. Getting over her had taken a long time, and she'd been there for Zuko every step of the way, lending support and a commiserating ear when he needed it.

They'd grown close over the years through sheer proximity. As his bodyguard, they saw each other every day. They even trained together three days a week at Zuko's insistence. Their training sessions, he said, were the highlight of his week. She had no doubt about that. Between gruelingly long council sessions, his duties and the constant pressure of ruling a Nation more used to war than peace, it was a wonder Zuko hadn't cracked yet. More often than not he went sleepless, hungry and neglected his own needs, all in pursuit of caring for his people.

She admired that selflessness, and more often than not, she'd found herself doing the same, mirroring him. They'd spent countless sleepless nights together pouring over law books, maps, supply lists and grievances from citizens with an ax to grind. She probably knew him better than anyone else in the world.

That thought struck her hard and she glanced up at him as he scanned the scroll yet again.

"Well maybe this is a good thing? Maybe you really will meet the girl of your dreams at the ball?" she offered, with a strange, but all-too-familiar flutter in her stomach. She tried to ignore it, just as she always did.

"Doubtful. More likely I'll meet every scheming social climber in the Nation. Half of them so desperate to marry the Fire Lord they'd cut off a finger if I asked them to," he said darkly, with a disgusted look on his face. He crumpled the scroll again and tossed it toward his wide, cluttered desk.

"And the other half would probably just be satisfied to share the Fire Lord's bed for a night. For bragging rights and the sheer pleasure of it all," she said wistfully, noting the way Zuko's face flamed red. "So there's a bright side."

"Yeah, right. I doubt that," he mumbled, pacing again.

"I don't. Do you know how many times I've caught some of those supposedly well-bred noble women trying to sneak into your suite wearing nothing but some very see-through robes, a lot of perfume and just a hint of desperation?"

Zuko whipped around to face her, a shocked expression on his face. "WHAT? You've never told me that! You're lying!"

"Am I? Next time you see Lady Shura, tell her I think she should get that mole on her left butt-cheek checked. Looks a bit iffy to me," Suki said, with obvious glee at Zuko's expression.

"Lady Shura is…she's old enough to be my mother! She's…she's married!"

"From what I hear, that's never stopped her from sleeping with every stable boy, litter-bearer and servant in her employ. Woman's a cougar-rat. Better watch out for her, Zuko. She'll eat you alive. _Phrowr_," she said, turning her hands into claws and scraping the air as the color drained out of Zuko's face.

"That's so disturbing."

"If you want I'll just let the next one I find sneak right on in your room and you can properly scandalize the court with tales of your prowess in the bedroom."

"Now you're definitely laughing at me."

"Why would you think that?" she intoned, dropping her hands at her sides as a laugh tumbled out of her. Zuko stared at her for a moment and then sighed, dropping onto the edge of his bed. He ran a hand through his long, unbound dark hair as she crossed the room to sit next to him.

"I mean, it's not like I have any…prowess anyway," he mumbled as perched beside him. "I'm not… I mean, I'm not very good at… You know, women."

Suki bit down on her lower lip, choosing her words carefully. "But you and Mai…you guys…"

"Yeah. We did. Had…_you know_…"

"Sex," she said bluntly. Zuko let out a gust of air, clapped his hands to his face and fell back on the bed with a groan.

"Yeah," he said, his voice muffled by his hands. Suki nodded and fisted her hands in her lap, feeling her stomach fluttering again. "And you and Sokka? You guys have…"

"Yeah," she said gently and looked at her lap. "It's been a long time though. Nearly a year. I mean…it's not like we've even seen each other or anything." The bitterness in her voice wasn't as much as it had been even three months previous.

"He _still_ hasn't written?" Zuko sat up again and looked at her seriously. He seemed more angry on her behalf than she felt herself, a fact that made her bitterness fade.

"No," she mumbled. Her letters to Sokka had gone unanswered for six months. Eventually she'd just stopped sending them.

She didn't know how she felt about her rather distant relationship with Sokka. Mostly she was annoyed, with hurt and sadness adding just a touch of bitterness to the whole thing. They'd spent more time apart than they'd ever had together. He had his life and she had hers and the two had just never properly aligned.

She just wished she knew why his letters had stopped. She kept up regular contact with Katara and according to her, Sokka was fine, just busy building Yu Dao into a republic.

_Surely not too busy to write a fucking letter_, she thought for the millionth time, but with a touch of acceptance at the situation.

"I'm honestly kind of over the whole thing. I mean, I'm angry. But… I don't know," she finished lamely, unable to articulate her rather confusing emotions. Zuko studied her face and then sighed.

"Well, if you think a year is bad, try over two years."

"No wonder you're always in a bad mood," she said, and he rolled his eyes, flushing again.

"Shut up."

"You shut up," she said, bumping his shoulder with hers. He huffed out a small chuckle and then bumped her back. "Seriously though, this ball won't be so bad. You just have to plaster a smile on your face, eat some room-temperature cheese, and dance with a few girls. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do."

"Are you forgetting that I can't dance?"

"How did you never learn?" she asked again and he shrugged.

"Father thought it wasn't proper for a man to learn to dance when I could be learning to firebend instead. It's not like I've ever needed to do it before. I usually just stand against a wall and try and pretend I'm not there. But they're expecting me to dance with these women. In front of everyone."

"I can teach you a few dances. I mostly know Earth Kingdom dances, but I've learned quite a few of the more popular Fire Nation dances since I moved here."

"Who taught you?"

"What I do on my nights off are none of your business," she teased him with dignity, tossing him a mischievous look. He reacted just as she'd expected him to. His face flushed and he looked away quickly, as if to hide his expression.

"Is it…uh…Sokka's business?" he asked gingerly.

"Mostly it's Ty Lee's business," she said, making him whip around to stare at her, wide-eyed. She stared back seriously and then burst out laughing. "Her current girlfriend is a dancer and we've hung out a few times. I like to dance though. It's like fighting, but with less fists."

"Really?"

"Sure. Some of the dances even remind me of Firebending forms. Just with no flames involved. I've seen the way you move, Zuko. We train together. You'll make an excellent dancer and I can teach you. Don't worry. You won't humiliate yourself at this ball."

"Sure I won't. Did you forget the part where they're pimping me out in desperation?"

She laughed and bumped his shoulder again. "Of course not. That's my favorite part."

Zuko groaned and fell back on the bed again, his hands over his face. "I hate how much you're enjoying this."

Her eyes slid down his body and she had to forcibly stop herself. She looked away and grinned. "My enjoyment hasn't even begun. Now, unless I'm mistaken, you have a Council meeting in five minutes and you need to get changed. You don't want to be late. They might be planning an arranged marriage with one of General Tsung's legendarily ugly daughters."

Zuko's sat bolt upright, eyes wild with fear. "You don't think they would, would they?"

She laughed as she stood and walked toward the door. "No, probably not. But maybe they'll put one of them in your bed? Since it's been two years, you might even thank them."

Zuko groaned as she winked at him. "I shouldn't have told you that. That's it, you're banished."

She shot him a cheeky grin over her shoulder as he took off his shirt and reached for his formal robes. "If you banish me, who's going to teach you how to dance?"

"Lady Shura?" he offered bitterly.

"I bet Lady Shura would love to! Better guard that tight butt of yours though. She's got grabby hands."

"SHUT UP!" Zuko laughed as he wadded up his shirt and tossed it at her. She ducked it and swept out into the hall on a peel of laughter, closing the door behind her. She could hear him laughing through the door as she waited for him. Her own laughter faded after a moment and she bit down on her lower lip, a sliver of unease sliding through her as her humor at the situation slipped away to the reality of it.

She swallowed hard, images of Zuko dancing with the prettiest women in the Fire Nation sprang to her mind. A sour feeling burst to life in her guts and she felt it clawing at her insides. It wasn't a new feeling. It seemed to grow with every woman she caught looking at him, or trying to creep into his quarters.

It was jealousy, she realized. Deep, poisonous, painful jealousy.

"Damn," she said out loud as she heard Zuko's footsteps approaching the door at her back.

Zuko opened the door and shot her a smile. "You ready?"

She returned the expression, warmed by his presence. "Yeah. Into the turtle-lion's den with you."

"So long as you're with me, I'll be fine. Come on," he said, and his hand briefly touched her lower back, lingered and then, as if he realized what he was doing, he dropped it back to his side. He glanced at her and their eyes met. She felt a zing all the way to her toes and back to her chest and quickly looked away as they walked side by side down the corridor toward the council chambers.

_Shit. I'm in trouble_.


	2. Part II

**PART II:**

* * *

"Here?" Zuko asked with a touch of nervous uncertainty in his voice as his hand came to rest low on her back, right over the swell of her rear end. Sweat soaked his hair, which he'd pulled back, but little strands had escaped and clung to his face. Suki was equally as damp, her short hair frizzing out as the heat of high summer built around them. The massive windows to Zuko's dojo were open to the breeze coming in off of the sea, but the air was hot and smelled faintly of volcanic ash.

"A…a little higher," Suki said, reaching behind her and pulling his hand a few inches higher to rest in the small of her back. Zuko's cheeks flushed even redder, a droplet of sweat navigating his temple, cheek and then the strong line of his jaw.

"Oh. Sorry," he mumbled in reply as she flashed him a grin that he didn't return. She stepped a little closer to him, sliding one hand over his shoulder, the other hand finding his. Their fingers folded together as the hand on her lower back shook a little. "Like this?"

"Perfect. See? You're doing fine," she said, looking up into his eyes. He stared back, standing stiffly in place as the small music box, their only accompaniment, rewound itself and started plunking out its tinkling song. "Remember what I showed you. Just move your feet and hold on to me."

"I think I can do that," he said, and there was a small smile on his lips that faded into concentration.

"One, two, three," she counted off and then Zuko started moving, leading her in the simple step pattern she'd been showing him for the last half-hour. He moved stiffly, but at an encouraging smile from her, he loosened up with each step. His hand tightened on her lower back as he looked down at his feet, silently counting the steps. She lifted his chin with her thumb and shook her head. "No, no. Look at me, not your feet. Don't think about the steps. Just move. Concentrate on me."

Zuko's gaze locked onto hers and didn't deviate an inch. His brow knit together in the middle as the hot breeze caught their frizzy hair. She shot him another encouraging smile and he cautiously returned it, letting one corner of his mouth tilt upward.

"How am I doing?" he asked.

"You're a natural, Zuko," she replied, nibbling on her lower lip as Zuko turned them in place. "You've got the steps down right. You just need to loosen up."

"You sound like Uncle," Zuko mumbled.

"Is he coming?"

"Are you kidding me? He wouldn't miss my humiliation for the world. He's been trying to get me to settle down and find 'a nice girl' for months now. I think he likes teasing me."

"Don't we all?"

"Shut it, you," Zuko said, eyes flashing. She grinned at him and saw that half-smile attempting to force its way past his insecurity. His frown won out and a look of abject misery boiled over him. "How am I supposed to dance with these women in front of everyone? I'm going to make a fool of myself. I can't do this."

"You're dancing just fine right now," she said as the song wound down and then tinkered out. They stopped dancing and stood together, still locked in a close embrace.

"Because I'm dancing with you," he said, catching her gaze. "You're different. You don't expect anything out of me and I don't have to pretend to be something I'm not when I'm with you. I can just…be. You know?"

"I, I know," she said as she took a breath and dropped her arms. Zuko slowly released her and they stared at one another for a long moment as she felt the floor dropping away beneath her, trying in vain not to let her mind wander where it wanted to go most.

_Don't think about it. Don't look at him like that… He's your friend and nothing more and there are a million reasons that things will stay that way. Because of Sokka. You love Sokka, remember? Also, he's the Fire Lord and what are you? A peasant from Kyoshi. A glorified bodyguard. He wouldn't look twice at you and why should he? You're friends. Best friends. Stop being an idiot. It's just a harmless, stupid crush and it means absolutely nothing…_

She'd been repeating variations of that argument for days. Guilt had set in almost immediately. Every time her mind wandered to Zuko, Sokka flashed in her mind, reminding her of the fact that they were still dating, despite the problems they were obviously having. She loved Sokka. She always had. She'd never believed she'd ever feel any different…but confusion had set in. Her emotions were murky, muddled and untrustworthy.

And being around Zuko was not helping. Thoughts of him dancing with all of the beautiful single women in the Fire Nation made her guts twist up into knots. Being near him was becoming torturous. Her heartbeat betrayed her, quickening at the mere sight of him and pounding out of control whenever he touched her. Dancing with him made her feel lightheaded and unsure of her limbs…which was not helpful with dance instruction. When he held her she was pretty sure she might come out of her skin.

The whole thing was ridiculous. She wasn't some naïve girl any longer, prone to crushes and silly flirtations, but she couldn't stop what was happening. Or the nagging feeling that it had been happening for a lot longer than she cared to admit.

Zuko stared at her, that half-smile back on his lips. He reached out a hand, pushing a strand of her hair, which had grown particularly frizzy in the unrelenting humidity, behind her ear. His hand lingered for a moment as he studied her face. "Thank you for all of this. Without you, I'd be lost with this dancing stuff."

Suki pushed a wide grin onto her face, though every particle of her being was focusing on the feel of his callused fingertips just below her ear, and the gentle sweep of his thumb along her jawline. She didn't think he knew that he was doing it, or the effect it was having on her whole body. "You'd be lost without me on a lot of stuff. Let's be honest."

Zuko's hand dropped, eyebrow lifting. "Oh, really? Name one thing."

"Just one?" she snarked as she turned her back and walked over to the music box, which had rewound and started to replay the song again. She turned it off and closed it, and then glanced over her shoulder at him. "How about the time I saved your ass from that assassin?"

"I could have beaten him."

"You set the Royal gardens on fire trying. On the plus side, I hated the topiary anyway," she said and glanced out the wide windows, a view of the gardens in question spreading before her. If she looked closely she could still see the scorch marks on the bricks in places. "And let's not forget what happened yesterday, shall we?"

Zuko groaned as she turned to face him, his face buried in his hands. "Spirits."

Suki fought a grin and instead shot him a look of sympathy. "I almost felt bad for you."

"No, you didn't! You were laughing!"

"I was _not._ I was…okay, I _was_ laughing, but in my defense Lady Shura was naked, covered in rose petals, in your bed. And I thought you were going to scream and jump off the balcony."

"That was horrifying," Zuko said in a haunted voice, his gaze far away. His hands wandered in front of his chest, vaguely gesturing to a pair of imaginary breasts. "She was so…_naked_…"

"You're not the one who had to tackle her. I got up close and personal with those things."

"I didn't tell you to tackle her," he said, lifting his hands.

"I know, but I figured if I got physical and threatened her she'd think twice about trying to get into your suite again. I warned you. It's only going to get worse, too. The closer you get to this ball the more desperate they'll be for your attention…" her voice trailed off, thinking of the past week and all of the "random" run-in's Zuko had had with various generals, noblemen and their eligible daughters who had come to court in preparation for the ball. All of them had clearly been trying to capture the Fire Lord's eye.

Some of them had been gorgeous, too. She hadn't been able to stop herself from noticing. Zuko had feigned polite interest and walked away as soon as he could, but she couldn't stop the nagging thought that some of the girls had at least caught his eye. And some of those girls would definitely be dancing with him; he'd all but promised them.

She didn't know how to feel about that. Her stomach was in knots and she didn't like it.

"I'm not a piece of meat," he mumbled. "I wish I could cancel this stupid thing altogether, but the money's been spent. I just hate that I'm being forced into this."

"I know you do. You're hopeless, you know."

"I know," he said, and their gazes met. "Completely. Totally. Hopeless."

There was an odd catch in his voice, and it sent little zings through her body from head to toe. concern flooded her. "Zuko?"

Zuko stared at her and then seemed to catch himself. His gaze flicked to the window and he swallowed, tilting his head so that his sweat-soaked hair fell across his scarred eye. "Um… I have a Council meeting in an hour."

"Oh. Yes. I think that's enough dance practice for now," she said, flustered, and not sure why. There had been something in Zuko's face, in the line of his shoulders and a glint in his eye. She saw it sometimes, in unguarded moments. She didn't know what it meant, but he always seemed to shut down after that and change the subject. "You really are doing well."

He grunted his thanks, frowning as he turned toward the door. She followed, studying him in silence as they walked to his suite, she one step behind him in deference to his rank as Fire Lord. Zuko didn't hold with protocol unless he was forced into it (something that endeared him with his subjects), but the nobles and politicians in the palace did. Zuko would often make her walk side by side with him when he caught her bowing to his rank, and whenever he did the courtiers usually gave her the stink-eye. They did it to all of the servants that dared be too familiar with the Fire Lord, regardless of Zuko's insistence on the subversion of his rank.

Suki in particular was not well-liked among the members of Zuko's council and the dislike was mutual. Zuko often asked her to attend meetings with him, especially when important matters were being discussed or planned. He said he enjoyed bouncing ideas off of her, and there had been more times than she could count when they'd stayed up late into the night, pouring over law books or maps, attempting to disentangle the trickier problems of ruling a Nation crafted by a hundred-year war and then forced into peace.

Zuko had also taken up the habit of turning to her mid-meeting and asking her opinion on matters being discussed. That didn't sit well with his more-qualified generals, mathematicians, advisors, lawyers and dukes, who eyed her like a gardener would eye a poisonous weed in their rose garden. That Zuko often took her advice over theirs didn't help matters in the slightest.

She'd heard them call her "that loud-mouthed painted Earth Kingdom whore" more than a few times. She had yet to respond to any of it, mostly because they carefully kept their spiteful slings out of Zuko's earshot, and because they'd done nothing more than call her names. She didn't know what she'd do if their antagonism escalated. Or why they felt so threatened by her presence.

They entered his suite and Zuko promptly took off his sweat-soaked tunic and tossed it on the floor. Suki came up behind him and picked it up.

"Slob."

"Leave it on the floor. The housekeeper complains when I don't give her enough work," Zuko said, walking through his bedroom and into the luxurious bathing room. Suki tossed the shirt at the laundry bin, and then poured herself a glass of water from the sweating pitcher sitting upon the table in anticipation of Zuko's needs. She gulped half of it and then followed him to the doorway and leaned against the wall.

"You and your excuses. I swear, it's like you think you're Royalty or something," she mused, propping one foot against the wall and staring out the window.

She assessed the room with an expert eye, one hand on the bladed fan she'd tucked into the belt of her lightweight green pants. She'd forgone her full Kyoshi uniform for the dance lessons. Her full uniform had proven to be too hot for the Fire Nation's punishing summer heat. She was drenched as it was.

"Are you coming with me?" he said as he ducked his head out of the bathing room doorway.

"I'm off-duty in a few minutes, but Ty Lee should be here any minute to accompany you. Unless you want me to?" she volunteered, noticing that he'd taken his hair down. He'd let it grow to the middle of his back, and she loved the sight of it all messy, slung carelessly over one broad shoulder. She bit the inside of her lip and swallowed.

"You don't have to. We're just going over accounts for the ball."

"We'll you're gonna be late. Go clean up. You smell."

"So do you."

"Yeah, but in my defense I spent most of the day teaching this complete idiot how to dance and it was hotter than the sun in the dojo. I've got sweat in places you couldn't imagine."

"Oh…I can imagine," he said, his gaze flicking down across her body and back again. Her eyebrows lifted and he flushed again. "Uh…I'll just…"

"Yeah."

"Kay."

He ducked back into the bathing room and shut the door behind him, leaving her alone in his suite. Suki leaned against the wall, her heart racing and her thoughts reeling.

_Was Zuko just…flirting with me?_

* * *

When Zuko finally emerged from the bathing room, it was to find Suki sitting in her favorite chair beside the window, waving her bladed fan in her face in an attempt to push the humid air around. Her hair was delightfully frizzy from the humidity, and as he watched, she lifted it off of her neck and tilted her head as she fanned herself. She had one leg slung over the arm of the chair, the other stretched out before her.

He stopped dead in his tracks, unable to look away from her slender neck, the flushed skin, the way she worried her lip between teeth, or the sweat slowly sliding down her temples. When she noticed that he'd come out of the bathing room, she turned her large blue eyes on him and he felt his heart squeeze like a vise in his chest.

His quick shower had been blessedly cold, but the shock of the water had done very little to knock the thoughts out of his head. Thoughts of Suki; thoughts he should not have been having under any circumstances, thoughts and feelings that had been plaguing him for months now.

_You're just being stupid. She's with Sokka. She's been with Sokka since you met her and that's not going to change, so just stop it. She's your friend and she doesn't see you as anything but that, and why should she? She's in love with Sokka, your friend Sokka and the things you're thinking are wrong. They're wrong and you wouldn't do that to her, or to Sokka. No matter how incredible you think she is, or how beautiful, or how she makes you feel. Just stop. _

His jumbled thoughts crashed and burned as he stared at her for a long moment. She looked back and her mouth lifted into a small smile that warmed him to his toes. He wrenched his gaze away and dropped down onto another chair beside her, where he pulled on the boots he'd found in the bathing room beside his robes, laid out by his servants in anticipation of his needs.

He stood and tied up his robes with a bit of chagrin. He hated wearing the robes of the Fire Lord; they were stiff and overly pompous and he was never comfortable in them.

"Your collar," she said, pointing.

"What?" he asked, smoothing it down, and then glancing at her. She shook her head and stood.

"Let me," Suki mumbled, tucking the fan into her belt and then reaching up to flip his collar up. She fussed with it with both hands, her lip bitten as she concentrated. They were only inches apart and he couldn't help studying the curve of her lips and the way the blood played in her cheeks. She glanced up and their gazes met yet again. It felt like the floor was dropping out from beneath him. Her hands caught hold of his hair and smoothed it across one shoulder; he swayed in place, an ache low in his guts. "There."

Her hands moved down his shoulders and swept across his chest, smoothing imaginary wrinkles in his robes. "Thank you. For everything."

"My pleasure."

"Uh… Do you have any plans tonight?" She shook her head and he half-smiled. "Would you like to have dinner with me then? I'd like a nice quiet meal in my room tonight, but I don't want to eat alone."

"Trying to avoid your army of would-be suitors?"

"Yes, actually," Zuko said, blushing again.

"Coward."

"Maybe."

"Well, I suppose I'd better have dinner with you then. You know, just in case another desperate woman ends up in your bed and I have to rescue you again."

"She was just…_so naked_," Zuko said, shuddering, images of Lady Shura in his bed flashing in his mind. The thought of finding her, or any of the various women he'd been introduced to over the past few days in his bed was enough to make him bar the door and hole up in his suite until the ball was over. Seeing his horror, Suki burst out laughing, throwing back her head with glee.

He loved watching her like this. She had a way about her, a way of making him slip out of his usual dour, sour mood. She was like sunshine in a dark place and he gravitated toward the ease in which she laughed or teased him. It was impossible not to like her, and over the years he'd slipped into an easy and comfortable friendship with her that he hadn't expected, but valued deeply. He'd come to rely on her, not just as a bodyguard, but for her opinions on any number of topics. She had a level-headed way of thinking that was clear and to the point. Her advice was something he not only sought out, but treasured.

_If only I could just keep thinking of her as a friend…_

There was a knock on the door and Suki crossed the room to open the door.

"Hi! How were the dance lessons?" Ty Lee's bright and cheery voice said from the hallway as Suki moved aside to allow her entry to the suite. The acrobat was dressed in the full Kyoshi uniform, and she looked absolutely impervious to the heat, despite the layers of armor and the paint on her face. He saw Suki lifting her hand to her frizzy hair in a self-conscious move, probably thinking she looked unkempt. He thought she looked beautiful.

Suki's gaze cut to him and then back to Ty Lee who grinned at the two of them in turn. "He's coming along nicely. A few more days and he'll be seducing the ladies of the Fire Nation with his sweet dance moves."

"Hmmph," Zuko harrumphed, crossing his arms over his chest.

"To say nothing of his sparkling personality," Suki shot at him with a grin and he fought to keep the scowl on his face. She turned back to Ty Lee. "Make sure there aren't any unexpected visitors to the suite when you get out of the meeting. Zuko's purity is in jeopardy."

"Lady Shura again?" Ty Lee asked in a commiserating voice.

"You told the other Warriors?" Zuko exclaimed, horrified.

Suki grinned. "I had to. It's a threat to you and your other bodyguards have to know."

"Did she touch you inappropriately? Do you want to talk about it?" Ty Lee asked him in a falsely innocent whisper, gesturing to his crotch.

"I would like to scrub out my brain, actually. Ugh. I'm not talking about it. I keep having flashbacks. Can we please just go to the meeting now?"

"You're the boss," Ty Lee said, throwing up her hands and then gesturing to the door.

"I suppose I'll go clean up now," Suki said, reaching for the door. Ty Lee gasped and grasped Suki's arm with a squeal. "What?!"

"I nearly forgot! You got a letter!" Ty Lee said, reaching into her belt and pulling out a sealed scroll. "It's from Sokka!"

Zuko stared at Suki's face, noting the change in her expression as she took the scroll from Ty Lee's gloved hand. She looked shocked, and thoughtful. "Oh. Thanks."

"That's great news, isn't it? He hasn't written in months!" Ty Lee said brightly and squeezed her other hand.

"Uh…yeah, it's great news," Suki said, and then glanced up to meet his gaze for a moment. She looked away quickly as he stood rooted to the floor. He could suddenly feel heat in his hands and the hot roar of fire that wanted to manifest and break free boiling beneath his skin.

"So what's it say?" Ty Lee pressed, but Suki tucked it into her hand and pulled herself up, a distracted expression on her pretty face. She was chewing on her lip again.

"I should go. See you," she said, opening the door.

The words burst out of him like a flood, eager to catch her before she walked away. "I'll see you at sunset?"

"Huh?" she asked, stopping and turning on him.

"For uh…dinner. In my room," he said lamely.

"Oh," Suki replied, flushing. "Sure. Yeah. See you then."

And with that she walked away, leaving him standing in the doorway of his suite, watching her go. Ty Lee came up beside his elbow. "How long has it been since he's written her?"

"A few months, I guess. She's been upset about it, but she won't talk about it."

"Hmmph."

Ty Lee glanced at him and stopped. "You're angry."

"What?"

"You're angry. At Sokka."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are!"

"I don't like the way he's treating her, okay? He's taking her for granted, something I never thought Sokka would do and it's pissing me off because she deserves better than that!" he burst out, and flames shot from his fists in a fitful, hot burst, much to his horror.

Ty Lee stared at him and then stepped back. Her mouth opened and sudden understanding flooded her gaze. "You like her! You like Suki!"

"WHAT?! No I don't!"

"Yes, you do! You like-like her!" she said, her mouth still open. "Of course! It's sooo obvious now! I mean, you look at her like all you want to do is kiss her and you two are always together and you're having dinner and the look on your face when she walked away… _Awwww…_"

"I don't like her."

"Yes, you do."

"Even if I did it wouldn't matter, would it?" he said with bitter reluctance and just a touch of paranoia. He'd been trying to hide his feelings for months, and he'd thought he'd mastered keeping them beneath the surface, but clearly he'd let too many things slip.

Ty Lee's mouth slowly closed and a sad expression crossed her face. "Because she's dating Sokka."

Zuko swallowed and look at his feet. "Yeah. And she loves him."

"Maybe."

"Definitely," he mumbled and glanced at Ty Lee. "Don't say anything, please? I'm just being stupid."

"I won't. I promise. Trust me, I know what it's like having feelings for someone who only thinks of you as a friend…and trying to hide it," Ty Lee said bitterly and he saw a glint of sadness and longing in her gaze.

"Did you ever get over her?" he asked.

Ty Lee tossed him a sad smile that was almost an apology. She reached out and took his hand, squeezing gently. "Come on. You have a meeting and you're going to be late."

He nodded and they walked to the Council chamber with Ty Lee half a step behind him. He could feel her sad gaze on him. Every step felt like he was walking through thick mud. All he could think of was the scroll in Suki's hands and what it might say.

Jealousy curdled his guts and sank in him like a stone, and no matter how much he told himself that he had no right to feel that way, the feeling persisted and worsened. He felt it pulling him down bit by bit…and he knew that he was in trouble.


	3. Part III

**PART III:**

* * *

Suki's hands shook as she closed the door to her suite in the servant's wing of the palace. She was staring at the scroll with its unbroken wax seal, a bit dazed, dry-mouthed and sweaty. It had been months since she'd last written him, and even longer since he'd written back. Her stomach churned as she crossed the room and sat down on the end of her bed, pushing her frizzy hair out of her sweaty face.

Taking a deep breath, she broke the blue wax seal with her fingernail and unrolled the parchment to find Sokka's handwriting in all its familiar, sloppy glory.

_Dear Suki,_

_I know it's been a while since I last wrote to you and I just want to apologize. I've been with my dad and gran at the Southern Water Tribe, helping rebuild. I should have written, but I've just been busy I guess. I'll be coming to visit soon. I miss you. Tell Zuko I said hello, and make sure you watch his back. You know how much trouble he gets into._

_Sokka_

Suki reread the letter three times, frowning with each sentence. She hadn't known what to expect, what she'd wanted him to say to her. He'd apologized for ignoring her letters, at the very least, but somehow his apology just left a sour taste in her mouth. His letter left a few unanswered questions as well.

Why hadn't he told her he was going to the South? Why had Katara told her that he was busy, instead of telling her the truth? Something didn't add up and she didn't like it one bit.

She chewed on her lower lip until it was raw and bloody, studying his scrawling hand for any more clues, but there were none to be found. Confusion rolled through her like a thunderstorm, jagged forks of doubt and sadness flashing in her like lightning.

She thought of their last meeting nearly a year ago. Things had been noticeably strained between them. She'd thought it was because of their clashing schedules. Zuko had only taken her and Ty Lee with him as guards to Republic City and she'd spent most of her time by the Fire Lord's side. Sokka had been hard at work with the council and with the architects on Air Temple Island. Over the course of a week they'd seen each other three times and made love once. And even that had been strained, awkward and filled with pauses, as if he'd wanted to say something to her and couldn't.

She'd thought it was just her imagination. Or that Sokka had just been too overworked. As the months went by, and her letters had gone unanswered, she'd begun to think otherwise. His letter just confirmed it.

For the first time in months, she felt the stirrings of anger in her and was surprised at how deeply the feeling went. She'd thought she wasn't angry at Sokka at all, instead believing that she'd come to terms with what was happening. Or rather, what wasn't.

How wrong she'd been.

She rolled Sokka's letter up again and pressed it to her forehead as she bowed over her lap, eyes squeezed tightly shut. She wanted to hit something while screaming. She wanted her heart to stop aching and she wanted her clarity for her confused mind.

"What am I going to do?" she whispered, feeling trapped and trampled, stuck uncertainly on the brink of something huge and life-changing. But what did that even mean?

She lay back on her bed, curling in on herself, thinking of Sokka, wondering how things had gone so wrong, inventing a thousand scenarios of what he might have to say to her, and what she might say to him. Each one seemed more horrible than the next, and she had no idea what sort of outcome she wanted for her fantasy reunion. Or if she wanted one at all.

That thought caused an avalanche of guilt that only fed her misery. And in the midst of all, creeping into every thought like smoke through even the tiniest of cracks, was _Zuko._

* * *

"Your food is getting cold," Zuko said as he caught Suki staring with unfocused eyes across the sweeping vista of the Caldera. She started and looked at him guiltily, picking up a bite with her chopsticks. She chewed, sending him a small, guilty smile. "You're a million miles away tonight. What's up?"

Suki swallowed and wiped at her mouth with her napkin. "N-nothing. So how was your Council meeting?"

"Boring, as usual. Bai and Jiang were arguing about the number of lobsters the chef had ordered or something stupid like that," he said, thinking of the way Bai's face had gone red as he'd argued with the seneschal. The treasurer was a corpulent little man, given to apoplectic fits over the smallest of expenditures. He was always at odds with Zuko's seneschal Jiang, who was brash, a bit crass and entirely too good at getting on Bai's nerves. The two's enmity made the Council meetings slightly less boring than they might usually have been, but discussions about a ball he wanted no part in were not high on his list of interesting ways to spend his time.

He'd spent most of the meeting obsessively replaying his dance lesson with Suki in his head, and then chastising himself for it. He also couldn't stop thinking about the scroll in her hands, and what it might say.

After the meeting he'd had a few private appointments with various officials from all over the Fire Nation, reporting on the health and welfare of the Nation. He liked these meetings; they made him feel connected to his people and better able to serve their needs. After his meeting, Ty Lee had accompanied him to his suite where Fen, his private secretary, had gone over his schedule for the next day.

It had been a blessing when the food he'd ordered to his rooms had arrived. He'd dismissed Fen and asked his servants to move his table to the balcony. His rooms were still too stuffy and hot and he craved the breeze coming in from the sea. Only a few minutes after his servants had left him for the night, Suki had shown up at his door.

She'd looked radiant, standing there sheathed in a pale green, two piece-dress that was simple, but complimented her nonetheless. She'd forgone her Kyoshi paint, and her skin looked clean and glowing. She'd pulled half of her hair back with a jade comb that was unadorned as her dress. She looked beautiful, almost delicate, despite the muscle of her flat stomach and the defined contours of her arms.

He knew better than to think of her as a wilting flower though; she could (and had) put him on the ground without an ounce of effort on her part. He also knew that she no doubt had several weapons hidden on her body, within easy reach. She was beautiful and deadly, but as his gaze had taken her in, he'd noticed the troubled expression on her eyes.

Ty Lee had left them then, with an annoying smile and a wink in his direction. No matter how hard he'd protested, the acrobat refused to believe his dinner with Suki wasn't a date.

_It's just dinner between two friends. We have dinner all of the time._ Just because he'd ordered all of her favorite food and put on the robe he knew she liked him best in didn't mean they were on a date. Besides, sitting in rooms with two Kyoshi warriors in the hallway within earshot was definitely not his idea of a date.

"You don't even like lobster," Suki said with a hint of her usual amusement, drawing him out of his thoughts.

"I don't like having random women thrown at me either, and yet here we are," he said resignedly, pushing his food around as he made a face.

"Poor Zuko," Suki said, reaching out and plucking a mushroom from his plate. He smacked her hand, but she just popped it into her mouth with a grin. "Did you have any more run-ins with any would-be brides today?"

"Blessedly, no. Though General Mak seems to think his niece and I would hit it off. His niece is _fourteen_," he said exasperatedly, reaching over and scooping up a large pile of red noodles from her plate. He said while he chewed, "I couldn't get out of the meeting fast enough."

"Don't talk with your mouth full," Suki said amusedly, picking up another pile of red noodles and holding her chopsticks out to him. He took the bite and she laughed when a noodle dripped slimily down his chin and then into his lap. "Smooth. The ladies won't know what hit them."

"They will if I have to dance with them," he mumbled as he wiped the noodle from his lap. He glanced up at her and noticed that her smile had faded again and she was staring out the window with a closed expression on her face. "Suki?"

"Huh?" She looked back at him guiltily and then said, "Sorry. I'm a bit distracted tonight."

"What's on your mind?"

"A lot of things," she said as she drained her glass of wine and then grabbed the chilled bottle from the table and poured herself another, which she drank down quickly. She moved to refill it again, but Zuko reached out a hand and placed it over the rim of her glass.

"Whatever's wrong, _that's_ not going to help," he said and she sighed a little bit.

"Maybe not, but I'm in the mood to do something stupid tonight," she said, putting the bottle to her lips. Zuko placed her glass on the table and watched her drain the last of the summer red. She licked her lips and he followed the progress of her tongue with rapt attention.

"How stupid?" he asked, arching his eyebrow.

"Pretty damned," she said, looking him up and down as she flushed and put the empty bottle onto the table. She reached out and grabbed his hand, pulling him up and out of his seat. He went willingly as she tugged one of his hands to her waist and then folded her other hand up in his.

"Wh-what are you doing?"

"Dance with me, Zuko," she said, looking up at him, a soft light in her eyes.

"There's uh…there's no music," he stammered, even as he pulled her a little closer.

"We don't need any," she said as she placed her head on his chest. They swayed in place, not truly dancing, but not standing still either. His heart raced hard in his chest, banging like a drum, so loud he was sure she'd hear it. Zuko closed his eyes, his cheek resting on her forehead. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For inviting me for dinner tonight. I'd probably be sulking in my rooms if you hadn't. I don't like sulking. So thank you," she said as her fingers slid up the back of his neck and slowly caressed through his hair. He shuddered and tried to control his breathing, but every particle in his body was absolutely focused on the soft threading of her fingers. Goosebumps erupted through his skin in little waves.

"My pleasure. I like having you around, you know," he admitted. "You're the only person I can talk to these days. You're…you're really important to me, Suki."

He winced, wondering if he'd said too much. Or maybe too little. He was torn between what he wanted to do and what should do.

"You're really important to me too, Zuko," Suki said, leaning her head back. Their gazes connected again for one sizzling moment. Then her gaze slid to his mouth and back and she bit down on her lower lip, a red blush heating her cheeks. "I really…"

"Care about you," they said together and she managed a small laugh as he blushed. Why was he so bad at this?

"More than I should," she finished softly and he felt the earth fall away from his feet. "Which makes everything with Sokka a lot more complicated."

The sound of his friend's name was like a cold splash of water down his back. He let his arms drop to the side and he stepped away from her, swallowing the instinct to do the exact opposite at her admission. "Uh. Right. Sokka. Because you're dating Sokka. So…uh… How is Sokka?"

"Umm. Good, I _guess_," she said, more than a touch of bitterness in her voice as she leaned back against the railing. The setting sun made a blazing corona of her hair as she clutched her hands together. The moment between them—whatever that had been—was gone. He wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not.

"What's he been up to?" he asked, even though he knew he was prying. His letters to Sokka had gone as unanswered as hers had, and he wondered exactly what had been keeping him so busy that he couldn't write to his girlfriend. His anger hadn't abated any for his acknowledgment of it, and his curiosity was getting the better of him.

He knew something in that letter had upset her though.

Suki's gaze was far away again. "I don't know. He, uh…said he's been at the Southern Water Tribe all this time. He apologized for not writing, and just said he was busy. It was a really short letter."

He noticed the way her jaw tightened and the edge in her voice. He moved up beside her and caught her gaze, hoping she could see the concern in his eyes. "That's good that he apologized, right?"

"Is it?" she said cuttingly. "Then why don't I feel any better?"

She abruptly turned her back to him, facing the railings. He watched the way her shoulders were shaking. She wasn't crying, but she was definitely holding herself back.

"What's wrong?" he asked as she stared at the sweeping view. The sunset threw red light over her face. She was chewing on the inside of her lip, a habit of hers that he knew well.

Her brows knitted as the sultry air stirred the curtains, and sent a strand of her chin-length hair into her eyes. She brushed it away and then crossed her arms over her chest. He came up beside her, lifting his hand to touch her shoulder and then withdrawing as he thought better of it.

After a long moment, her eyes slowly tracing the rim of the Caldera, Suki asked him in a soft voice, "What's it like to fall out of love?"

He swallowed, casting a glance at her, but she was still watching the sunset. Below them the lights in the Caldera City were coming on in tiny little flares. Everything was drenched with yellow and red. Suki's perfume tickled his nostrils as he turned his back and leaned his hip on the balcony railing.

"It's confusing and it hurts," he said with a sigh, staring down at his bare feet. The breeze swept through his hair like reverent fingers, sending a shiver down his spine. "Why are you asking?"

Suki closed her eyes and lowered her head. She picked at her fingernails absently, still chewing on her lip. "I just want to know. What was it like when you and Mai broke up?"

Zuko let his gaze soften and unfocus as he cast his mind back to the months before Mai had walked out of his life for good. Those hadn't been happy months and he tried not to dwell on them for a number of reasons. "I'm not sure what you want to know, Suki."

"How did you get over her?"

Zuko glanced at Suki, but she was still studying her hands intently. He thought for a moment, trying to find the words. "I don't really know. It wasn't easy. I really never thought I would, but it feels like I woke up one day and just didn't think about her or what happened. One day turned into two days. And then more and more until the pain was a memory. I still think about her sometimes, but not the way I used to and not as often. I guess I'm over her."

"What about when you were still together? Before the breakup? Did you know that it was over before it was over?"

Zuko licked his lips, glancing at her again. There was a touch of sadness in her eyes and the downturn of her mouth was nothing but guilt-ridden. He stared at his feet again and shrugged. "I think I did, though maybe not consciously. We fought all of the time. We'd break up and get back together. Well, you know. You were there. When things were good between us, it was amazing. But the good times didn't last. There was always something between us. Secrets. Little pauses, aggravations, snarky comments. A lot of that was my fault in the beginning, but after she left me when she found out I was talking to my father and we got back together a few months later, I vowed I wasn't going to push her away again. But things were never quite right. I'd reach for her and she'd move away. We were constantly at arm's length emotionally. The more I reached, the less she reached back until I realized she wasn't just moving away from me, she was running."

"Why?"

Zuko sighed and shook his head. "It took me a long time to figure it out, actually. You know how Mai was raised, right? She had to be perfect and quiet growing up. She couldn't draw any attention to herself. She lived in a fish bowl. When she traveled with Azula during the war, I think she finally got a taste of what it was like to be free. To be herself without eyes on her, judging her, demanding she be something she wasn't. Then we started dating. And I was the Fire Lord. Every eye in the world, not just the Fire Nation, was on me…and Mai by extension. She was right back where she'd started, and I think living at the palace with me brought it all back home. She resented the loss of her freedom. Every time we kissed it set off a rumor, and she was followed everywhere she went by people interested in talking to the Fire Lord's girlfriend. I didn't realize it at the time, but I think she started to see our future as a cage."

"Zuko…" Suki reached out and touched his shoulder and his lifted his hand, covering her fingers with his own as he shrugged again.

"I can't blame her. She was right. My life is lived every day in front of the world. Every action or inaction is whispered about, decried and discussed endlessly. My every minute of the day is scheduled. They're even trying to pick who I marry. I can't blame Mai for walking away. I want to run sometimes too. I think she stayed for as long as she did because she really _did_ love me. But it wasn't enough. I wasn't enough to make her happy, in the end. Letting her go was one of the hardest things I've ever done, but I knew I couldn't keep her. We just weren't meant to be."

"I'm sorry," she said as she turned her hand and linked their fingers. She leaned against him and pressed her head to his shoulder as she stared behind him at the dying sunlight. Silence stretched between them as his thumb caressed the back of her hand in small circles. Finally, she spoke, her voice soft and thick. "What if Sokka and I aren't meant to be?"

His pulse jumped and he felt slightly dizzy, disoriented. He struggled to find the proper words, knowing what he _wanted_ to say, in his heart of hearts and what he _should_ say. "I don't know. Do you still love him?"

Her voice was tremulous. "That's the problem. I don't know anymore. A year ago I wouldn't have hesitated to say yes, but now… Now I'm _angry_ at him. He ignored me, and he had Katara cover for him, but why? I feel so humiliated. I really just want to punch him. I thought I wasn't bothered, but really I was just making excuses for him. I'm starting to wonder why I'm still with him…when we haven't ever really been_ together_."

He half-turned to face her and she tilted her head back, staring into his eyes. Tears were slowly spilling from her eyes. He reached out and wiped them away with his thumbs as she clutched at his wrists. Her expression was raw, eyes red with the floodgate she was holding back. Her lower lip trembled.

"What do you mean?"

"We've always lived different lives. He's there, I'm here. We only see each other for a few days every few months. That's not a _relationship._ That's…two people having sex when it's convenient and writing letters in between. It's… It's not enough anymore! I…I still care about him, I do. But…I want _more_."

Zuko lowered his arms as she let go of him and turned away. She sniffed back tears and stared at the last blush of sun on the horizon. The stars were coming out, sparkling like diamonds in the hazy purple sky. She put her hand over her mouth, her gaze far away, as Zuko stood there, unsure what to do, what to say.

He hesitated, and then said, "Don't hit me for saying this, but Sokka's my friend. As angry at him as I've been for the way he's treated you, and trust me I'd like to punch his head off of his shoulders, I still find it very hard to believe that he'd hurt you like this on purpose. This is really unlike him and I don't know what's up, but the two of you need to talk this out. You need to say these things to _him."_

"I know," she said miserably and then turned and buried her face against his chest again. He wrapped his arms around her automatically and they sank against one another. He rested his chin in her hair, breathing in her scent. "I'm just really confused, Zuko. I wanted him to write to me or visit or something for so long and now that he has… I don't want to feel like this."

He smoothed his hands down her back in an attempt to soothe her, but if it had the opposite effect on him. He shouldn't be holding her like this. It wasn't right. He tightened his arms and she sniffed into his robes.

"The only thing I can tell you is to listen to your heart," he whispered into her ear.

"That's not very good advice," she said, leaning back. Her blue eyes shone in the light of the candles on the table.

"Why not?"

"Because my heart wants a lot of things right now. Things I shouldn't want," she said, searching his face as he felt that tug in his middle again, tingles spreading all through his body. "Things I shouldn't have."

"I know the feeling," he said, unable to stop the words from leaving him. He was dry-mouthed, his heart drumming hard in his chest. The words he'd been wanting to say to her but had been choking back for so long teetered on the tip of his tongue. He reached out a hand, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

Suki caught his hand, tangling their fingers again, pulling him toward her. His eyes were glued to her pink lips. He wanted nothing more than to indulge himself, to kiss her until he couldn't breathe. Suki's wet eyes were soft, seductive. He leaned in and her breath whispered against his lips for one sensual moment.

Then Suki gasped, shoving him in the chest so hard that he went sprawling back against the rough stone wall. He stopped himself from falling to the balcony floor and looked up through his hair just in time to see a figure dressed in black leap over the balcony railing. A sword glinted in his hand, catching the candlelight for one long moment before the intruder attacked.


	4. Part IV

**PART IV:**

* * *

Suki's eyes narrowed as everything seemed to slow down. Her racing heart, the exhale of her breath, the arc of the black-clad intruder's blade, the sound of Zuko's shouted warning; all of it faded away as her reflexes took hold.

Her arm lifted, elbow jabbing forward beneath the assassin's arm. She rammed it into the inside of his upper arm, knocking the blade aside. She followed through with a forward jab of the heel of her palm. The blow took him in the chin, snapping his head back.

The assassin stumbled back against the railings as Suki dropped into a fighting stance, reaching into a slit in her skirt and whipping out the fan she'd holstered there. The assassin, the sword still in his hand, recovered quickly. A pair of eyes an indeterminate brown narrowed on her as he pushed away from the railing.

"DEATH TO THE USURPER!" he hissed through the dark cloth across his mouth and went for her.

A smile spilled onto her lips. "You want him? You gotta go through me first."

"That was the plan, bitch," the assassin snarled and then went for her again.

Suki flowed into a spin, the fan becoming a part of her arm. She swung at the assassin as he moved the line, avoiding the slice that would have opened his throat. She swung again, keeping herself between him and Zuko.

Zuko, however, had different ideas.

A jet of flame came roaring in the assassin's direction as he made to slice at her arm. He avoided the orange blossom of heat and turned on Zuko with narrowed eyes. Zuko's hands glowed with flame, a look of rage on his handsome face.

"Get away from her."

"Zuko, no!" Suki started, but the assassin, was moving again, jabbing the sword back at her in a complicated pattern. She moved to avoid it, dancing back in the direction of the dinner table. She closed the fan, moved in beneath his arm as he thrust at her, and caught his wrist in her hand.

He lifted his other hand to hit her, but she caught it too. Then, before he could react, she threw herself backward into the table in a controlled tumble.

As her back hit the table, upturning it in a dizzying rush, her foot lifted into the assassin's gut. He grunted as she levered him over her head and let go of his wrists. He hit the opposite wall of the palace as the table upended. She rolled to the side, bruising her knee as she hit the hard stones. She came up in a crouch, the fan still tucked into her palm.

She opened it as the assassin moaned, dazed, reaching instinctually for his lost sword.

"Zuko, get the others," she said through her teeth as the assassin's fingers closed over the pommel of his plain, leather-wrapped sword.

"I'm not leaving you," he said just at her elbow.

"Go!" she said, sparing him another glance over her shoulder. Fire bathed his scarred features in flickering oranges and reds. He looked enraged and, oddly, scared.

"No!"

"By all means, stay. You can watch while I disembowel her. Or maybe I'll slice that pretty little face open?" the assassin said, having gained his feet smoothly.

Zuko gave a cry of anger and surged forward, flames erupting from his hands. He sent a volley at the assassin, who sidestepped it, palming an object from his belt at the same moment. Suki saw the movement and dived at Zuko. She knocked him into the debris of the table and they skidded across their spilled food and broken glasses just as a wicked stiletto sailed through the air in the place Zuko had been only seconds before.

Suki rolled again, whipping her fan open just in time to catch the blade of the assassin's sword as he attempted to stab her. He wrenched the sword sideways, taking her fan with it. She didn't care; her hand had already found one of the silver serving knives that had spilled from the table.

She brought it down into the middle of his foot with a crunch of bone and a burst of blood. He gave a cry, dancing backward as she and Zuko rolled to their feet. The knife protruded from his foot, bobbing as blood trailed across the balcony. He swooped and wrenched it out with a grunt of pain.

Blood trickled down his gloved fingers. Hatred burned in his eyes.

"You're going to pay for that."

Suki moved in, weaponless. She threw a kick that he avoided, the sword swinging in an arch that connected. Pain burst in her arm and she felt blood oozing from the wound. She ignored it, bringing her knee up into his stomach. Her fist followed, smashing into his face.

They grappled, tossing punches and kicks. A blow took her in the stomach. She saw Zuko out the corner of her eye and knew that he wanted to attack, but she was in the way. He didn't want to hurt her. Why didn't he run?

The assassin caught her in the shoulder with the serving knife and the pain only served to anger her. Whoever he was, he was good. She executed a roundhouse kick that knocked the sword out of hand. It clattered over the railing and into the open air. He only had the serving knife now.

Her lip curled as she moved in for the kill. She caught him by the collar and brought him back for another punch that shattered his nose.

The assassin laughed and head-butted Suki just as she realized that she had moved in too close. The pain was blinding. He grabbed her hair and tugged her forward, ripping from the roots. She struggled, jabbed her arms forward to break his hold, but he spun her, her feet slipping in mushed red noodles. He hauled her around and put the serving knife to her throat.

"Suki!"

"_Ah-ah-ah_," the assassin said against Suki's neck. The knife's edge was nipping at her throat. Hot pain burst in her as the assassin's hands tugged at her head, tilting it back to expose her throat even more. The blade cut into her the tiniest bit and blood trickled down her neck. "One step closer and I'll kill her."

Zuko stood before them, fire in his eyes, food smeared on his clothing. He was pale in the light of the fire flickering on his hands. "What do you want?"

"For her? Nothing but your death, Fire Lord. I'll exchange you for her."

"NO! ZUKO RUN!"

"Shush, pretty girl," he crooned in her ear as she dug her fingers into the arm holding the knife to her throat. "The big boys are talking."

"Fuck you," she said through her teeth, making him chuckle darkly. The sound sent shivers of fear creeping over her.

"I'll leave that to our dear Fire Lord, thank you. You two looked so cozy," he said and then turned his attention back on Zuko, who had crept a step closer. His gaze hit hers and stayed there as she pled with him silently.

_Run, Zuko. Run. Save yourself_, she thought desperately. Two of her warriors were stationed outside of Zuko's suite. They must not have heard anything or they would have come running. _Damn. Why did we have to eat out on the balcony? How did I let him get the better of me?_

Zuko's face was hard with resolve and fear. "I'll do anything you want. Just don't hurt her."

"That's what I like to hear, Usurper," the assassin said, the knife edge digging into her throat again. She pled with Zuko, but she knew he wouldn't run. He wouldn't leave her. "You really want to save her?"

"Yes!"

"Then throw yourself over the railing."

"ZUKO DON'T!"

"Shhhh…" he said, jerking her back against him. "Come on, Zuko. You want to save her, you just walk right over to that railing and throw yourself over the edge. Kill yourself."

"And what will that accomplish? You'll kill her the minute I jump."

"On my honor, I'll let her go," he said in Suki's ear. His breath wheezed noisily in and out of his broken nose.

"You don't have any honor," Zuko said bitingly.

"Maybe not, but I came to kill you. Just you. Your lover wasn't part of the plan."

Zuko stared at her for a long moment. The flames died on his hands as he dropped them. His gaze flicked to the balcony and back to Suki. She knew exactly what he was thinking; she knew him too well not to.

"Zuko…don't do this…" she moaned as the knife bit sharply into her throat again.

"I have to, Suki. I can't let him hurt you," Zuko said walking toward the railing. He put his hands on the balustrade and hauled himself up. He stood above them on the railing and glanced over at Suki.

He nodded at her solemnly and then jumped.

At the same moment, Suki slammed her head back into the assassin's face, right into his broken nose. She caught the hand holding the knife, pushing it away from her as she half-turned and jammed her elbow back into his face. He reeled backward as she turned and brought the heel of her bare foot down into the bloody stab wound in his foot.

He yowled and backhanded her, just as a burst of flame came out of nowhere. It engulfed his head and caught on the black mask over his face. Suki's swimming gaze flicked to the railings as she skidded in the remains of their dinner and dropped to her knees. Her hands desperately scrambled for her broken fan in the mess. She saw Zuko pull himself up the railing with a burst of fire from his feet.

The assassin pulled the burning mask from his face with a wrench, revealing a plain face, with a wide mouth, dark hair shaved to stubble, and a curious black tattoo on his neck in the shape of a flame.

He snarled and screamed something unintelligible, going for Zuko. The knife flashed as Zuko tried to pull himself up.

Zuko cried out with pain as the knife scored his hand. Suki ran at the assassin, her fan flashing as she swiped at his eyes. Blood blinded him as he screamed, turning on her and stabbing wildly with the knife. The blade punctured her shoulder, but she ignored the shock of pain. Instead she short-punched him in the face, smearing her split knuckles with his blood.

Then she grabbed him by the collar again and tumbled him backward, away from Zuko, whose hold on the railing was slipping, blood pouring from his hand.

The assassin hit the sliding rice paper balcony doors, shattering the frame with a crash. Suki turned back to Zuko and reached for him just as the she heard a cry of alarm from inside Zuko's suite. She recognized Aiko and Rin's voices as they raced into the room.

"Give me your hand!" Suki gasped as she reached for Zuko. He lifted his bloody hand and she grasped it, pulling him with all of her might. Pain exploded in her shoulder and her left hand went limp. Zuko slipped in her grasp, but she held on tightly. "No!"

Zuko looked up at her, his eyes wild with fear. "Suki…"

"You're too slippery…"

"Fire Lord Zuko!" Rin called with a gasp. "Captain…what…"

"The assassin! GRAB HIM!" Suki gasped as she grit her teeth and hauled Zuko up inch by inch. His feet flailed, looking for purchase on the lip of the balcony.

"YOU WILL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!"

There was a commotion behind her, an angry scream of rage and footsteps running toward them. The scream garbled out into a bloody choke as the assassin ran headlong into the railings and flung himself over. Suki gasped, watching his body tumble into the darkness and disappear. Her shocked gaze flicked to Zuko as Aiko and Rin appeared at her side.

Together the three of them pulled Zuko back over the railing. He stumbled coming over the railing and landed on Suki. She gasped in pain; the knife was still in her shoulder and blood was drenching her arm and breasts. Zuko looked at her shoulder and then sat up on his knees.

He stared at the knife for a long, horrified moment and then locked down the expression.

"Rin, get the healer! Aiko, get Jiang. Rouse the guards and search for his body. Lock down the palace and the grounds. GO!" Zuko barked, though he only had eyes for her as he gently pulled her up into a sitting position against his shoulder. Suki gasped; the pain seemed to be increasing with every heartbeat. Her left hand was limp and flexing her fingers brought on a twinge of pain that was blinding.

Aiko ran through the broken balcony doors, with Rin on her heels, leaving them alone. Suki took a shuddering breath between her teeth, a clammy sweat breaking out over her skin. Zuko's arms tightened around her and then loosened as he sank back against the railings. He stretched out his legs and slid her onto his lap. He cradled her against his shoulder, trying to make her comfortable.

"Are you okay?" she asked and he laughed as he smoothed her hair back from her face with a bloody hand.

"You're the one with a knife in your shoulder."

"I'll live. Are you okay?" she insisted.

"I'll live," he said softly, his head lowering against hers. He breathed in slowly as she put her uninjured arm around his shoulder. He lifted his hand, hovering over the hilt of the knife. "Should I take it out?"

"No! Leave it. The healer can handle that," she said tightly, catching his hand and folding his bloody fingers around hers. "You should have run. You should have gotten out of there."

"We can fight about that later," he said, shaking his head. "I thought he was going to kill you."

"He was. You distracted him long enough for me to break free. For a second there I thought you really were going to jump."

"I was."

"Dammit, Zuko…"

"I couldn't let him hurt you!"

"And I couldn't let him hurt _you!_ That's my job! Don't you _ever_ try and put yourself in danger just to save me again!" she said, burying her face against his neck. His hair had come loose in the fight and it flowed around their faces. The scent of him, of blood, and spilled food and fear and sweat swelled over her.

"I'm not helpless, you know! I can fight!" he said hotly into her hair.

"I know that!" she hissed, wincing in pain as she pulled back. "But it's my job to make sure you don't have to! Why didn't you run? Don't you _ever_ do that to me again, you stubborn asshole!"

Zuko reached out and cupped her chin. He stared into her eyes, and she found she couldn't look away. "Don't you ever try and die for me again. I couldn't handle it if… If something happened to you… I… Suki, it would kill me."

"Zuko…" she whispered as his forehead pressed to hers. She took a deep breath, surprised at the tears that were forming, threatening to break free. All of the turmoil of her life seemed suddenly far away. Sokka seemed very far away. She clung to Zuko, her fingers stroking the back of his neck as he shivered against her. "I…"

"I love you," Zuko whispered, and then he kissed her.

Everything was heat and flame; little thrills rolled hotly through her body in scorching rivulets, setting her nerve endings on fire. Her hand sank into his hair. The pain in her shoulder was forgotten. Zuko's mouth molded over hers, hesitant at first, but gaining confidence when she didn't push him away.

His lips were dry against hers, pressing deeply as she tilted her chin upwards. He caught her lower lip between his, tugging with the slightest of pressures, sending more jolts of fire throughout her bruised body.

He released her lip for a moment, his nose brushing hers. He breathed shallowly, shaking in her arms. Then she pulled him toward her again, pressing as hard as she dared.

Zuko made a sound in the back of his throat, his arm tightening around her as their mouths moved slowly against one another. He tasted like wine and she wanted to drown in him…

"Sire! Sire, are you alright?" Jiang, Zuko's seneschal called from Zuko's suite. Too late, Suki and Zuko broke apart, only to find Jiang, four of his guards and Aiko staring at them. Suki took in a sharp breath as Zuko cursed softly. Jiang's eyebrow lifted, one corner of his mouth quirking up as he surveyed the scene. "Are we interrupting something?"

Zuko ignored the pointed comment and said in what Suki knew to be an authoritative voice, though she could hear the quaver in it where Jiang might not have, "An assassin attacked us. He came over the balcony railings. I want the palace and the grounds locked down. No one gets in or out. I want the servants questioned."

"The servants?" Jiang asked, confusion skirting across his face. "Why?"

"The assassin somehow managed to climb the entire face of the palace at sunset and no one happened to see him? There's no way," Suki said, with pain in her voice. Zuko glanced at her, a high flush in his cheeks.

Jiang nodded in sudden understanding. "You think he was hiding in one of the lower floors."

"Probably one with a balcony below mine."

"The closest one is four floors down," Suki gasped as she moved her arm. Zuko pulled her against his chest. "That's a guest room for visiting heads of state."

"Which the servants have been cleaning in preparation of the ball," Jiang said and glanced at the guardsmen. "Understood, Fire Lord Zuko. I'll have my men seal the grounds and question the servants and guardsmen."

"Fine. Report to me when you're finished," Zuko said. Jiang and his men bowed to them and then turned smartly on their heels and left, but not before one or two of them glanced back at them knowingly. They left the room just as Rin came tearing into the suite, followed by Zuko's healer, who was carrying a black bag with her. The willowy old woman stopped dead in her tracks and assessed the damage with a gimlet-eyed glare. She dropped to one knee beside them and pursed her lips.

"She's worse off than you, Fire Lord," Nam-Kyu said shortly and tossed her frizzy iron-gray hair out of her face. "We need to move her to someplace comfortable. A balcony is no place to stitch someone up."

Zuko's breath caressed her ear. "Will moving you hurt too much?"

"I can't see how it can hurt any worse. I can walk," Suki said as Zuko slowly extracted himself from beneath her. He crouched beside her, putting one hand beneath her undamaged arm, the other on her waist. Agonizingly slowly, he helped her to her feet.

A wave of dizziness struck her and she wavered a little, feeling queasy as the world lurched around her. Zuko caught her and before she could do much more than blink, he'd scooped her up in his arms. Pain blasted through her shoulder, but he held her gently. Together he, the two Kyoshi warriors and the healer walked into his suite.

"Not on your bed. I'll get blood everywhere," she protested as Zuko gently set her down on the massive bed.

"I don't care. That knife has to come out now," Zuko said, smoothing her hair back. She was dimly aware of how sweaty she was. She felt like she was going to throw up. Nam-Kyu shouldered Zuko out of the way, popping her bag down on the bureau and opening it. She pulled out a fine, hooked needle, black twine, several pots containing mysterious ointments and a small paper package of white powder.

"You're not going to like this, dearie," the healer said, and then grasped the knife and wrenched it out of her shoulder. Suki gasped, stomach tightening as her knees drew up. Her eyes squeezed shut through the pain and she bit down on her lips to keep from crying out. "Good girl. Now let's see the damage."

The healer bent to examine her and she watched the old woman's keen gaze as she assessed the wound.

"How bad is it? Is there nerve damage?" she asked in an undertone, glancing at Zuko, who was watching with an odd expression on his face. Her heart thumped hard as the old woman swabbed at the bloody wound. She was bleeding out at a steady pace and she still felt like she might throw up her dinner at any moment.

"Hmmm…the blade went deep, but it's a clean cut," Nam-Kyu mumbled and then pinched Suki's left wrist. She winced and jerked away, making a fist. The healer smirked. "Seems fine to me, but we'll have to see once you've healed up a bit. Now, brace yourself. This might sting."

The old woman dusted the wound with the white powder and immediately a sharp stinging sensation jittered through her shoulder. She hitched in a breath as Zuko came around the other side of the bed and took hold of her hand. The healer glanced at Zuko, but didn't comment as she placed a wad of cotton over the wound, then turned back to the needle and thread.

"Are you okay?" Zuko asked, sitting on the bed. He was cradling his injured hand in his lap, but he seemed to be ignoring it.

"I'm fine," she said again to Zuko, forcing a smile onto her lips. She glanced at the two women hovering at the foot of the bed. "Aiko, Rin? Take the other Kyoshi warriors and sweep the grounds. Collect the assassin's body, if Jiang's men haven't done it yet. Take it to the dungeon. I'll want to search the body later and see where he came from."

"Are you going to be okay, Captain Suki?" Rin asked as Aiko hesitated.

"I'm fine," she said again, even though the pain was making it hard to breathe. Aiko glanced from Suki to Zuko and back again, her red lips tightening to a thin line.

"Fire Lord Zuko…we didn't hear anything in hallway. I swear it. If we'd known you were being attacked…" Aiko started, but Zuko cut her off, lifting his bleeding hand.

"It's not your fault. Neither of us shouted for help. The fault is with me and the thick walls of the palace. My ancestors were great builders," he said with some amusement. Rin visibly relaxed, but Aiko, whom Suki knew to be as serious as Zuko when it came to her duties, had a dignified look on her face that told Suki she'd have to have a talk with her at some point in the future.

"You're dismissed," Suki said and the two Kyoshi Warriors turned smartly on their heels and left. She, Zuko and the healer sank into an uncomfortable silence as the old woman hummed under her breath and stitched up Suki's shoulder with a practiced hand. She rubbed ointment from one of the jars on the wound and then glanced at Zuko knowingly.

Zuko turned his back on them as the old woman pulled Suki's blood-soaked top down and wrapped the bandage around her shoulder and back. With the knife out, the pain had lessened somewhat, but she still felt dizzy and nauseated. Nam-Kyu pulled her ruined top back into place and then stood back with an assessing eye.

"Well, you're going to live, I'd wager. You've got some knicks and cuts that'll need more patching up in a moment or two and that slice on your other arm needs stitches. That can wait a moment though. I'll need to see Zuko's hand first."

"No," Zuko said, getting to his feet. "Suki first. I insist."

"You may be the Fire Lord, but as your healer you don't outrank me," Nam-Kyu snapped. "You're bleeding like a stuck pig-deer. Now sit down before I slap some sense into you."

"Please, Zuko…" Suki said and it was her voice that made him dutifully sit on the end of the bed while the old woman examined his bloody hand. Suki saw for the first time that the wound went straight up the back of his hand in a ragged line.

"Well, that's a nasty thing, but it should heal with some coddling," the old woman said as she cleaned the wound. "You'll scar. I reckon you both will."

"Same knife, too."

"And to think we were cutting our meat with it only minutes before," Suki said wryly, catching Zuko's eye as the healer stitched him up. He smiled a little, and didn't look away the whole time Nam-Kyu was stitching him up. By the time she was finished, Jiang had appeared in the doorway, watching respectfully while his ruler was being doctored.

The healer finally released him after bandaging his hand and wrist, and then turned back to Suki. At Jiang's motion, Zuko got up and went to whisper to him in the corner, sending glances Suki's way every few seconds.

"Can't keep his eyes off of you," Nam-Kyu grunted as she stitched up the slice on Suki's arm. "You know, lovers make for poor bodyguards."

Suki's face went red as she pressed her lips together. Her mind ran back over the kiss—had it really happened?—and she heard Zuko's whispered words in her ears, ringing like bells. She didn't know what to think; everything was a blur of pain and adrenaline. "I don't know what you mean. We're not…"

"Perhaps not yet, but if that one has his way about it, you will be," Nam-Kyu mumbled, and then smiled at her, the corners of her gimlet eyes crinkling into a thousand fine lines. "I've seen a thing or two, dearie. And I've heard the talk."

"Talk? What talk?"

"About the Fire Lord and the Captain of his bodyguards. I'm not one for gossip though, so you didn't hear that from me." Nam-Kyu winked at her, and then finished bandaging the slice on her arm. She cleaned the bloody wounds on her neck, and pulled glass out Suki's knee, bandaged several small cuts and then wiped her hands on a damp towel and stood. Suki was watching Zuko in the corner with Jiang as they talked in heated tones. "Come see me tomorrow and we'll see how you're getting along."

Suki nodded at the healer as she sat up. Zuko saw her attempting to get out of the bed and hurried over. "Whoa, don't try and get up yet. You lost a lot of blood."

He pushed her back down and sat beside her as Nam-Kyu packed up her bag, nodded at him and left.

"I'm fine," she repeated for what felt like the millionth time. "I have to examine the body."

"That can wait until morning," Zuko said, taking her hand. His face was grim as he glanced at Jiang standing respectfully at attention in the corner. "You need to get some rest."

"So do you."

"I don't have the luxury. I've called an emergency council session and Jiang and I will be interviewing the servants and the guards who were working today. "

"I can help—"

"No, I want you to stay here and that's an order," he said gently but firmly. Suki started to argue and then nodded.

"Fine. But I don't like it. You need guards. What if there's a second attempt?"

"I know you don't like it, and don't worry about the guards. Kikki and Tam are just outside the door. So is Ty Lee. I'm leaving her here to guard you."

"I don't need guarding!"

"Fine, Ty Lee's going to take care of you then."

"I should go to my own room…"

"We don't know if your room is safe yet," Zuko said, his mouth tightening. "Just stay here. I'll be back in a few hours. Hopefully with some answers." He started to get up, but she grabbed his hand.

"Zuko…"

He sank back down onto the bed and searched her face. The kiss sat between them, unspoken, his words echoing through the both of them. His hand folded around hers as he lifted it to his lips. He kissed her knuckles gently and then lowered his head. He let out a deep breath. "We'll talk later, okay? Just…stay safe."

"You too."

He kissed her hand again and then laid it gently on the covers. And without another look backward, he marched out of the room, with Jiang two steps behind him. Suki let out the breath she didn't realize she was holding. With Zuko gone, it felt like the air had been sucked out of the room.

Ty Lee ducked inside the door a moment later and rushed over to her side. The acrobat looked like someone had roused her from sleep. She wasn't wearing her uniform or makeup, and her hair was down, falling in long brown waves across her shoulders. She was wearing a skimpy red nightdress, with a short pink kimono belted over it. There was a sword in her hands though and a fan tucked into her robe belt. Her large hazel eyes took in the blood and the bandages, then flicked to the broken balcony doors and the scene of carnage beyond it.

She whistled impressively, and then shook her head. "That must have been one of hell of a date."


	5. Part V

**PART V:**

* * *

"Sorry about this. You look like you were on your way to sleep," Suki said, gesturing to Ty Lee's nightgown. Ty Lee looked down at herself and then shrugged.

"S'okay, I wasn't planning on sleeping much, if you know what I mean," she said with an impish grin.

"The dancer?"

"No, we broke up. It's one of Counselor Biyu's daughters. Let's just say that that's one girl Zuko doesn't have to worry about marrying," Ty Lee said with a wink. Suki groaned as she sank back against the pillows.

"Sorry to interrupt your date then."

"She'll understand. Sorry _your_ date was interrupted."

"It wasn't a date. Zuko and I were just having dinner. We do that sometimes. As friends."

"I know you do. We all know it. Everyone in the palace knows it."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Suki demanded.

"You know what it means," Ty Lee said, sitting down on the end of the bed, her large hazel eyes sparkling with mischief. "So what happened?"

"Nothing! Well, I mean…we were attacked," Suki said quickly, propping herself up on the pillows. The blood on her dress was starting to dry, and the smell was making her nauseated. The pain in her shoulder was ebbing a bit, helped out by whatever Zuko's healer had done. "But nothing else."

"Yeah, okay," Ty Lee said skeptically, eyebrow rising. "That's not what Aiko told me."

"What did Aiko say?" she asked, knowing the answer full well. Her face flamed as Ty Lee smirked at her.

"Oh nothing, just that when she and Jiang and the soldiers walked in you and Zuzu were totally making out," the acrobat said gleefully, leaning forward. "What's uh…what's up with that?"

"Nothing." At Ty Lee's look, Suki sighed and buried her face in her hands. "Okay. We kissed. It just sort of…you know, _happened._ I was hurt and Zuko nearly died and there was a dead assassin and I was upset about Sokka and…and…"

"Why were you upset about Sokka? I thought you were dying to hear from him."

Suki groaned and sank back against the pillows again. "I was. But… I don't want to talk about it. All I want is to clean up, change my clothes and then to examine the assassin for clues. Help me up."

"Zuko told you to stay put."

"He'll understand. I have duties to attend to. I can't lie around just because I'm injured," she said, as Ty Lee reluctantly came around the bed and helped her out of it.

"Right. Duties. Or maybe you just don't want to be here when he gets back?" Suki shot Ty Lee a narrowed glare, causing the woman to back up a step and raise her hands. "Yeah, okay, shutting up now. Come on, Captain. Let's go see a man about a corpse."

* * *

"Sire, every floor has been thoroughly searched and the servants questioned. No one has breached our security since the lockdown last night," Jiang said, nodding curtly at Zuko as he looked up from the missive he was writing, an inky brush poised in his fingers.

"Thank you, Jiang. I want the palace and Caldera City lockdown continued. No one in or out until we know where this assassin came from and who he's working for."

"Yes, sire," Jiang said with a bow as the other councilors stirred restlessly. There were signs of fatigue and stress on all of their faces. It had been a long night. None of them had gotten any sleep. Zuko himself had questioned the servants who worked on the floor with a balcony below his. None of them seemed to know how an assassin had gotten into the room, but, as one servant had pointed out, the security on that floor was nonexistent when the rooms were unoccupied. Anyone could have slipped in, with the servants or guards totally unaware of it.

Frustration and exhaustion crawled over Zuko. All he wanted was some tea and a nap. And he wanted to check on Suki, most of all. At least she was getting a good night's rest. The thought of her sleeping his bed comforted him. He wanted her safe and out of harm's way.

She'd been harmed enough on his account last night.

Swallowing, Zuko bent back over his missive, wrote his name with haste and passed it to his secretary, Fen, who dusted it with sand and then rolled it up. His order would be delivered to the Mayor of the Capitol, advising him of the situation in the Caldera.

"General Mak, has there been any intelligence about an assassins lately? I thought we'd routed the New Ozai Society and imprisoned or executed the ringleaders," he asked of the General, who came strolling into the room, looking alert, despite his lack of sleep.

"We did, though we've always believed that someone must have gotten away. There have been rumors, all unsubstantiated, of a cell still active in the Earth Kingdom," General Mak said, dropping down into a seat. "I've had my men on it for some time now, but they've been bedeviled at every turn."

"Tell me what you _do_ know."

General Mak took a drink of tea from the cup by hand and then said, "My men call the cell the Smoke Demons, as they tend to vanish into smoke. I've started to think that they might have had a hand in the deaths of several people, most of them merchants, several of my men, and the Mayor of a small village a hundred miles from here. All seemingly unrelated deaths, but something about them makes me uneasy. The Smoke Demons are also thought to be responsible for several fires in port cities on at least a dozen small Fire Nation islands. The fires seemed unconnected, but the epicenter of each blaze has been a weapons cache for our armies."

"Why wasn't I informed of any of this?"

"Because we have no definitive proof that anyone is behind the sabotage or the deaths; several of the warehouses were full of volatile chemicals and explosives. At first it was thought that they might have ignited on their own. After the third warehouse went up, we started connecting the dots and looking for signs of sabotage and the people responsible. The closest we've come to catching anyone was a month ago. The whole village of Rinchaka Falls went up in flames. A lot of people died. Most of them children. There was an orphanage close to the warehouse…"

"I remember that. I sent aid to the survivors and funds to help rebuild," Zuko said gravely. "And you think these Smoke Demons are responsible?"

The General shrugged. "We have no proof. One of my lieutenants and his men chased two people through the woods outside of Rinchaka Falls, but were unable to capture them. They scoured the island and came up empty-handed."

"Do you think these Smoke Demons sent this assassin after me?"

General Mak shook his head, a look of uncertainty on his face. "They've stuck to mostly low-level terrorism so far. They seem disorganized, for all that they're good at disappearing, which is why I hadn't briefed you on the situation yet. I wanted actual proof of their existence. I hadn't thought they were a credible threat to you."

"Well, be that as it may, _someone_ wants me dead and he was able to get into this palace unseen. General, regardless of this assassin's affiliations, I want these Smoke Demons found and routed. I can't have them out there causing disasters like Rinchaka Falls again. And next time, I want briefed on the situation in full. I don't like surprises, no matter if you have proof or not."

"Yes, sire."

Dropping his brush, Zuko rubbed at his eyes and sat back against his chair, head drooping. "Is that all, Jiang?"

"For now, sire. Perhaps it would be prudent for the Council to take their rest now? The palace has been searched and we've added guards to every floor and entrance. We've even sent up carpenters to fix your broken door and we've posted more guards outside of your suite. It is safe for you to rest, sire."

"Carpenters? You didn't disturb Suki, did you? She was injured. She needed her rest," he said, his head shooting up. He caught Fen's pointed glance at the rest of the Council.

"Your safety is paramount, sire. Besides, the Captain was not in your room when I took the carpenters up there," Fen said softly.

"Well, where was she?"

"I do not know, sire," Fen replied, glancing again down the table at the other Councilors.

"Perhaps she went to her own bed. Where she belongs," Jiang said carefully. Zuko had a sudden memory of when he'd walked into the room earlier that night after questioning the servants. The Councilors had been discussing something urgent, but they'd stopped the moment he'd entered the room.

He had a feeling he knew what that something was. He could feel heat beneath his skin, growing with each uncomfortable moment. He could still remember Jiang's face as he'd walked into the room and seen him and Suki locked in an embrace…

"And just what does that mean?"

"I think you know what that means, sire," Jiang said. The seneschal avoided his gaze and glanced down the table. Zuko turned to the other members of his Council, studying them each in turn. Besides General Ma, there was his keeper of purse, fat Bai, the peculiar Madame Biyu, barrel-chested Duke Ru, the aged but still beautiful Lady Lian, obsequious Osamu, and serious, sour-faced Guo.

He met all of their gazes in turn, but they looked away.

"If you have something to say, then say it. Clearly, you've all been discussing something behind my back. Spit it out."

There was a long pause as everyone shifted nervously.

"Sire, we've been talking…and the Council believes that perhaps it is time that the Kyoshi Warriors went back to their home on Kyoshi Island," Osamu said finally, glancing down the table every other word.

Zuko's brow furrowed. "And what makes you believe that?"

"Well…after last night's failure…"

"What failure?"

"The two Kyoshi Warriors in the hallway failed to hear the fight and—" Lady Lian started.

"Hardly their fault. The doors in this palace are thick and the walls are made of stone. I had asked them to stay in the hallway, for my own privacy. And it's not like I screamed for help. I don't blame Rin or Aiko. They came the moment they realized something was wrong, and it was Aiko's dagger that killed the assassin. He was going to knock both Suki and I over the edge. I owe the Kyoshi Warriors my life. And not just for tonight. Why would you even suggest dismissing them?"

The Councilors glanced at one another, some of them shifting uncomfortably in place again.

"In truth, the Kyoshi Warriors are not the problem…" Lady Lian said.

Zuko pursed his lips. "Then what is the problem?"

"It is their Captain. Or rather your relationship with her," Osamu said.

"Excuse me?"

"Sire, you must know how it looks," Osamu said in his usual wheedling tone, leaning forward so that his bearded face caught the light. "How it will look to rest of the Fire Nation when the story gets out."

"And what story is that?" Zuko challenged him. It was Madame Biyu who answered, though.

"That you were ambushed by an assassin while in bed with the captain of your bodyguards, of course."

Zuko stood up so fast he knocked his chair over. "IN BED?! We weren't in bed! We were having dinner. Suki and I have had dinner a hundred thousand times!"

"Were you or were you not kissing the Captain?" Lady Lian piped up. All of the blood drained from Zuko's face and he glared at Jiang, who steadfastly avoided his gaze.

"That is none of your business. Any of you!"

"With all due respect, you _are _the Fire Lord. Your actions reflect on all of your subjects," Osamu said.

"This is unbelievable! My actions—"

"We're just concerned for you, Zuko. For your safety," Bai intoned in a commiserating voice that rattled Zuko's rapidly fraying nerves.

"My safety? How does this have anything to do with my safety?" he said, throwing his hands wide.

"Captain Suki is your bodyguard. It is her job to get between you and danger. Sire, you should have called for help, or run from the balcony. Instead you endangered yourself just to ensure the safety of your bodyguard, rendering her job pointless," General Mak said in a no-nonsense tone.

"What, I should have left her there to fight off an assassin alone? She's my friend!"

"Oh yes, we're all very aware of how friendly the two of you are, sire. There have been rumors of your affair for months. Rumors we'd hoped to quash with this Ball," Duke Ru said, causing Zuko to turn on him.

"Is _that_ why you're doing this?"

"Fire Lord Zuko," a somber voice interjected from the end of the table. Zuko turned on Councilor Guo.

Of them all, Guo was the most honored; the others looked to him for answers in the time of crisis. He was calm in the face of adversity and often let the others argue themselves into a stupor and seemed always to correctly judge when his advice or opinions were needed and would do the most good. The man was an expert at politics; he almost appeared not even to play the game, when Zuko knew that Guo was the best string-puller in the Fire Nation. That was why he'd appointed him to his Council.

"You have something to say, Guo?" Zuko said, crossing his arms over his chest.

Guo stood, his rugged face a mask of calm as he met Zuko's gaze, where the others hadn't had the nerve. "It is true that the Council has been concerned with your relationship with the Captain of your Guard for some time and had hoped to end the affair—"

"_We're not having an affair!_" Zuko interjected hotly. Guo nodded in deference.

"As you say, sire. Nevertheless, we had still hoped to interest you in a Fire Nation girl of a much more suitable rank and birth. As…_fond _as we all are of the Captain, it cannot escape notice that she is not of the Fire Nation. She is also a servant."

"She's—"

Guo held up his hand. "I do not wish to be rude, sire, but these are facts. Personally I do not care whom you dally in the sheets with and I pay no mind to rumors, but since Princess Azula's precarious mental health and…disappearance has made her unsuitable to inherit the throne, you _are_ undeniably in need of an heir. You must wed and produce a legitimate heir as soon as possible. For the good of the Nation."

"So you've all told me."

"Then let us tell you again, sire, so that it sinks in. If you had died tonight, the Fire Nation would be a headless dragon. There are those who would seek the throne at all costs. You have distant relations, some of whom supported your father, others who have their own agendas. The Fire Nation would be thrown into a civil war. If you had an heir, this can be avoided."

"How about I just avoid dying?"

"Fine words from a man who threw himself over a balcony to save an Earth Kingdom peasant," Osamu snorted. "A peasant who belongs to another man."

Zuko stared at them, his jaw ticking in time to his temper. He leaned forward and placed his hands flat on the table. His gaze dropped to the pile of parchment neatly stacked there, unable to look at any of them any longer. He could feel heat in hands, growing with each moment. Fire wanted to blaze out of him and burn everything in the room.

"Get out."

"Sire…"

"Get out. All of you."

"We're just concerned—"

Zuko's head jerked up and he knocked the parchment, inkpot and quill off of the table with one swipe of his hand. "HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO ME LIKE THIS? LIKE I'M A STUPID CHILD! HOW DARE YOU DISRESPECT ME? I AM YOUR FIRE LORD AND IT'S TIME I ACT LIKE IT! YOU DO NOT COMMANDE ME! I COMMAND _YOU!_ I APPOINTED EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU TO THIS COUNCIL AND I HAVE THE POWER TO DISMISS YOU AT ANY MOMENT! I WILL MARRY WHOMEVER I WANT, WHEN I WANT AND I WON'T HAVE YOU WHORING ME TO EVERY GIRL IN THIS KINGDOM LIKE A STALLION IN HEAT JUST TO PUT YOU AT EASE!"

"Sire…the money has already been spent…"

"Oh, you'll have your damned ball. But if you think for one moment that I'm going to marry any of those girls you trot out before me, then you are sadly mistaken. You'll get your heir whenever I damned well give it to you, whether that's tomorrow or fifty years from now!"

"But sire…"

"Get out. I SAID GET OUT! GET THE FUCK OUT! _NOW!_"

He met Guo's gaze for a moment, seething as the middle-aged man looked at him calmly and then nodded curtly, and started toward the door. The other Councilors followed in his wake, with Fen scrambling to pick up the spilled inkpot and the parchment from the floor.

"LEAVE IT!" he snarled, causing Fen to squeak and dart toward the door, nearly tripping on his robes as he went. The council chamber door slammed shut behind them, leaving Zuko in a room that seemed suddenly, echoingly empty.

He was breathing hard, his gaze fastened to an errant teacup one of them had left on the table. Their words echoed in his brain. Rumors. There were rumors about him and Suki. He had never heard them before, but likely the Council had made sure that he hadn't. The things they'd said about her angered him.

One kiss. Just one and suddenly they were having an affair. And if his Council believed that rumor, then it would spread all over the palace, and the Fire Nation beyond. What they would think of Suki…what they would whisper about her…

And worst of all, what would happen if word reached Sokka, somewhere in the South Pole?

All because of him. All because he'd been unable to control himself. There had been no honor in what he'd done, only selfishness.

His anger burst out of him all at once, like an explosive backdraft of flame unleashing in a room that had been smoldering for too long. With a growling scream of rage, he grasped the heavy oak table and flipped it. It hurtled end over end through the air and he turned in place with a swooping kick, sending a gout of flame smashing through the table. It broke into pieces, bits of wood burning on the floor, charring the marble and the rugs.

He wasn't finished though. He threw the chairs and set them aflame one by one, then turned and punched the wall so hard he felt his knuckles skinning. He pulled his hand back and stared at the blood trickling down his fingers.

He stood like that for a minute, just staring at the red dripping onto the floor, seething, his Councilors words echoing in his ears. After a moment, the door of the chamber opened with a well-oiled sigh and he heard footsteps.

A sigh sounded from behind him and then he heard Suki say, "I always hated that table."

* * *

Zuko turned around to face her, and she found herself staring at his wide eyes. He glanced from her to the burning remnants of what had once been his Council table, then back to her. He was breathing hard, his face red, hands fisted at his side. One hand was coated in blood and there was a smear of red on the stone wall behind him.

"Suki… What are you doing out of bed?"

Suki lifted her arm a little, which was in a sling, and winced when her shoulder gave a painful throb. "I'm injured, not an invalid. Besides, I wanted to examine the assassin's body as soon as I could. Can't do that from a bed. I didn't find out anything though. He had no papers, no identification. Nothing but that tattoo."

"Oh."

"So…have an interesting night?" She gestured to the burning shrapnel of the furniture and watched as Zuko's face went from red to purple.

"You could say that. The Council and I had a slight disagreement."

"So I heard."

"You heard? What did you hear?"

Suki met his gaze unwaveringly and lifted her chin. She'd heard every word while she'd waited outside of the door with Kikki and Tam, two of her Warriors. The girls had avoided her gaze, though no doubt they'd already heard the rumors of what had gone down on Zuko's balcony already. Word traveled fast in the palace, especially when the gossip was so juicy.

And there was apparently nothing juicier than apparent confirmation of that…something was happening between her and Zuko. They were all going to fill in the gaps with their imagination, regardless of the truth. And there was nothing she nor Zuko could do to stop it.

"Nothing I didn't expect. Well, maybe I expected them to be a little more subtle about it, but I'm not surprised. They've had it in for me for a while."

"They have?"

She nodded and walked toward him, then reached out and took his bloody hand. She gently dabbed his knuckles with the sleeve of her robe. "They do it behind your back, mostly. It's just been whispers and names and dirty looks until now. At first I thought it was because you sometimes bring me into the Council discussions. I thought they thought I was stepping on their toes, but then I realized that they seem to think I'm some sort of upstart Earth Kingdom seductress out to ruin their Fire Lord. I guess they've moved into open warfare now."

"They're idiots. All of them. I'll fire them and appoint new Councilors."

"No, you won't," she said softly, looking down at his skinned and bloody knuckles. "As much as I dislike them, every single one of them is loyal to the Fire Nation and has only ever done what's best for your people. They're good men and women…and they had some valid points."

"Like what?" he said skeptically, wincing as she wiped the blood away from his knuckles with a sigh.

"I can't do my job if you won't let me, Zuko. You put yourself in danger just to help me, but that's not how this works. I'm your bodyguard. I'd give my life for yours. You have to let me do that."

"No. I can't. I won't," he said, and made a cutting gesture with his other hand in the direction of the burning furniture. The flames died, leaving behind wispy plumes of smoke.

"Then what is the point of me being here? What is my purpose, if not to keep you safe? Don't you trust me to do my job?" she said, dropping his hand and meeting his gaze. Zuko's tired eyes widened, and then a deflated expression took hold of his face.

"Of course I do. I trust you with my life, Suki. But I won't apologize for not just leaving you there on that balcony facing a man with a sword. I won't. I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if something had happened to you because of me. I am not helpless either. I'm a Firebender and a swordsman and I can defend myself."

"Of course you can. But you shouldn't have to. That's my job. If something happened to you because I failed to protect you… Zuko, I…" she choked off, swallowing as Zuko stared at her. "You have to promise me that next you you'll run for help. And you won't jump off of a balcony again. That was a stupid move."

"I knew what I was doing. I had to distract him, let him think he'd gotten what he wanted."

"You could have slipped and fallen to your death. All because of me."

"I made my choice, Suki. I would choose you over me any day."

Suki stamped her foot and let out a frustrated sound. "Dammit, Zuko! When are you going to get it? I'm not important! You're the Fire Lord!"

"_You_ are important to me, dammit!" Zuko said, his temper flaring again. "I won't apologize for fighting that assassin! But…I will apologize for what I did. I had no right."

"To what?"

"To kiss you."

They stared at one another for a long moment, neither of them breathing. The words echoed in the room. Suki licked her lips and tried to think of something to say. "I…I kissed you back."

"Maybe, but I crossed that line first. That's on me. It wasn't honorable. I disrespected you and Sokka and your relationship. I'm sorry for that. It won't happen again."

"It won't?"

"No. There are rumors already flying about last night. I won't have your honor stained by my actions again. I won't do that to you or Sokka. No matter how you feel about Sokka right now, you're still with him. I won't get in the way of that. I can't."

"Oh," she said softly as Zuko turned away from her and stared at the wall, as if he wanted to sink into it and disappear.

"The rumors will die down. They always do. But until then I think… I think you should take some time off. Let your shoulder heal."

"Are you telling me to stay away?"

"Yes."

"What if I don't want to?"

Zuko's shoulders dropped a little and he half-turned to face her. "Please, Suki."

Suki stared at him, feeling a knot forming in her chest. The pain of it outpaced the pain of her shoulder and she felt it echoing through her, from head to toe. Slowly, she stepped forward as Zuko turned to face her again. She stood up on tiptoe and leaned in as Zuko's hand automatically went to her waist.

She gently kissed his cheek, giving him time to pull away if he wanted to. He didn't. When she went to pull away, he turned his head and she felt his breath on her mouth.

She wanted to surge forward and kiss him, to continue where they'd left off the night before. She wanted to feel the rush again, the heat, that perfect moment of absolute rightness that had come over her.

Instead, she sank back onto her heels as his hand fell away from her waist, leaving her bereft and cold. She looked into his eye and said, "If that's what you want. I'll stay away."

Zuko nodded and swallowed, the expression on his face tortured, as if he was thinking the very same thing she was. "It's…it's for the best."

"Okay."

Zuko took a breath, avoiding her gaze as he bit down on the inside of his lip. "I have to go."

He moved past her, his feet slipping and sliding through the charred and smoking remains of the furniture. When he reached the door, she called out impulsively, "Did you mean it?"

He stopped, his hand on the doorknob. "Mean what?"

"Are you in love with me?"

Zuko's head lowered and he seemed to stop himself from looking back at her at the last moment. He opened his mouth to speak, and then snapped it closed and walked out the door without answering her.


	6. Part VI

**PART VI:**

* * *

"I don't want to wear any jewels," Zuko said for what felt like the millionth time. He was standing at the balcony doors, staring out at the Caldera, wishing like hell that everyone would leave him be. No less than six servants were buzzing around him, making last minute alterations to his clothing and his hair. One servant had been dismissed with a hushed glare from Fen after loudly wondering if they should try and cover his scar with makeup.

"But sire, it's not proper not to wear some sort of ornamentation…" the Royal jeweler wheedled, holding up a mahogany display case of rings. Zuko's eyes slid over emeralds and rubies, diamonds, garnets and sapphires, all roughly the size of a baby sky bison. It was all too gaudy, too ostentatious. It was bad enough that his robes for the ball were embroidered with gold at the collar. He wasn't going to exacerbate things by wearing a shiny boulder on his finger like one of the dandies he saw running around the Court.

"My crown is ornamentation enough," Zuko said firmly.

"But sire…"

"I'm not wearing any of it!" he snapped and then stopped himself. He closed his eyes and counted to ten very slowly. Then did it three more times. A headache was throbbing in the back of Zuko's eyes. He wanted to be alone, not poked and prodded and asked endlessly dreary questions about what he wanted to wear. At this point he'd prefer to showing up naked, rather than get poked by another one of the tailor's pins.

"If you change your mind, sire," the jeweler said softly, packing up his cases, "just send for me."

"Of course. Thank you," he forced out through his teeth and turned away from the small, round man. He glanced at the other servants in his room and watched as they ran around, doing who-knew-what, all under Fen's exacting gaze.

Zuko turned back to the Caldera, rubbing at his temples and trying to tune out boy their voices and the fact that they kept stealing glances at him every few minutes or so. He knew what they were thinking, even if they wouldn't say it in front of him.

He'd been in a foul mood all week and he'd been short with everyone. A large part of him was ashamed of his behavior; they were all just doing their jobs and didn't deserve his ire. He just wanted them to leave him alone and most of all, he just wanted the rumors to stop.

No such luck.

Zuko shifted uncomfortably in place, sweating a little, despite the sultry breeze coming in from the newly-rebuilt balcony doors. The heat wave had been building over the past week, and despite its cool marble halls and airy windows, the palace was sweltering. It was making everyone cranky, not just him. Tempers were short and tensions were high.

Or perhaps that had more to do with the general atmosphere in the palace than the unbearable heat. After two days of lockdown, the palace and the Caldera had been reopened. The presence of the guards had increased tenfold. The seneschal was taking no chances on his safety. How the assassin had gotten into the palace had remained a mystery, but Zuko had been forced to let the preparations for the ball continue.

For days now, the palace had ben bursting with activity and people. Wagons came and went from the kitchens, filled to the brim with food and wine. An army of decorators had descended on the ballroom and they'd been buzzing around for days, making everything shine. The tailors, dressmakers and jewelers of the Capitol were said to be doing a booming business, dressing every eligible female in the finest of silks, jewels and gold, all in the hopes of catching his gaze.

Guests had been pouring into the Caldera. Every nobleman staying at the palace had been searched and questioned fully. Nothing suspicious had been found. General Mak had left the day after the assassination attempt in pursuit of the suspected group responsible, the Smoke Demons. There had been no reports to link the cell to the assassination attempt and many of the Councilors were starting to believe the man had been working alone.

Not that Zuko was currently on very good terms with his Council. They'd taken his outburst to heart and hadn't brought up the prospect of marriage or an heir again and only spoke of the ball when necessary. It helped that the assassin had taken some of the heat off of matchmaking. They'd even stopped trying to introduce him to their relatives.

They hadn't spoken of Suki again either. That probably had a lot to do with the fact that she had been noticeably absent from public view since the night of the attack, and even more notably, absent from his side. True to her word, Suki had stayed away from him for the last week. He kept telling himself he should have been relieved, but he wasn't. He missed her.

It was like someone had ripped out his heart and put a burning coal there instead. _And all because I couldn't keep my stupid feelings to myself. I compromised her honor, her reputation and our friendship. So stupid. What was I thinking?_

Well, he _hadn't _been thinking, obviously. He'd been berating himself ever since that night. Not just because of the kiss, or the rumors, or the damage he'd done. That was bad enough on its own. No, the worst part was that he'd actually told her how he felt. How had he let that slip? What was wrong with him?

"Fire Lord? The barber is here. I've been thinking, it would be nice if you got a haircut before the ball," Fen said, appearing at his elbow. He didn't even glance at the shorter man.

"I'm not cutting my hair."

"But it's gotten so long. Surely a trim? I'm thinking to your chin…"

"No."

"Sire—"

"I SAID _NO_, FEN!" Zuko snarled, turning on his secretary in an instant. He turned to the other servants and bellowed, "WILL YOU GIVE ME SOME PEACE AND QUIET FOR ONE DAMNED MINUTE!?"

One maid squeaked, dropped the pillow she was fluffing and ran out of the room with a sob. He instantly felt like the biggest shithead on the planet, but the damage had been done. He turned his back on them and listened to them filing out of the room.

Fen hesitated and then whispered, "As you wish. _…Asshole…_"

"What was that?" he asked in an edged voice, glaring at Fen, who looked back at him blandly.

"Nothing, sire. Ring if you need anything. I'm sure you won't, though."

"I won't," Zuko said, fighting a smile now. Fen was a first class boot-scraper and knew his job backwards and forwards, but he also had a sly sense of humor and a no bullshit attitude, which was why Zuko had hired him and why he liked him.

"Of course not," Fen said behind him as he went out the door. Zuko let out a sigh as blessed silence filled the room. He closed his eyes and took a deep, calming breath. The next moment, the door opened and four bodies spilled inside in a rush of noise.

"FIRE LORD ZUKO DOESN'T WISH TO BE DISTURBED AT THE MOMENT!" Fen's shrill voice cut through the air, making him flinch and whirl around to face the door.

"HALT!" Aiko commanded of a red-clad figure who laughed at her.

"Or what? You'll attack me?" the woman barked in a familiar voice. A voice that sent chills of recognition up Zuko's spine.

"If we have to!"

"I don't need permission to see my baby brother. Isn't that right, Zuzu?" Azula said, turning a sharp smile in his direction. Zuko stared at her in shock.

"Azula?!" he exclaimed in shock as she smiled back at him from the doorway and forcibly shoved Qing's hand off of her shoulder.

"Who else would I be? Honestly, don't you recognize your own sister?" Azula said as she shoved Aiko aside and walked forward. His eyes took her in. It had been almost four years since he'd last seen her. She had changed in that time and his mind quickly worked to reconcile his memories of her with the reality before him now. The teenage girl he had known was now a woman in full. She was taller, curvier, and more beautiful than he remembered. She looked so like their mother it was uncanny.

Fen let out a long-suffering sigh, holding up a scroll. "Sire, it seems Princess Azula is here to see you. I only just got the missive."

"Yes, I'd gathered that," Zuko said dryly.

"Sire?" Aiko asked questioningly, while Qing glared daggers at Azula's back and fingered the fan on her belt. Azula glanced back at the both of them and rolled her eyes.

"Don't worry, your seneschal _and_ his guards cleared me and my friend when I arrived. It's not like they can just kick their own princess out of the palace, you know. They might have had the authority if you'd ever gotten around to banishing me. Lucky for me that you never did."

She had him there. He caught the gaze of the two Kyoshi Warriors and nodded. "If you'll give us a moment, ladies? You too, Fen."

"Are you sure?"

He nodded, even though he definitely wasn't sure he wanted to be alone with her. The last time he'd seen Azula, she'd been unstable, emotionally distraught and a danger to herself and everyone around her. He'd sent several agents after her, but after a year of continually giving them the slip, coupled with her apparent disinterest in causing more trouble than she already had, he'd let her go. The last report he had of her was that she was in Omashu. That had been three years ago.

"If you need us, sire…" Aiko said in a worried voice as Fen made a huffing noise.

"Try anything and I'll break your arm," Qing said to Azula, who smirked in reply. The two Kyoshi Warriors bowed out and Fen shut the door behind the three of them. Zuko caught Aiko's worried gaze as the door closed.

"Well, don't you just inspire such boundless amounts of loyalty in your subjects?" his sister said in a jaunty voice as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Even after you screamed at the servants like that!"

Zuko colored, suddenly feeling like the unsure teenager he had been so long ago. "You…uh…heard that?"

"The whole floor heard that. It's amazing how much you resemble Father when you're angry. And here I thought Uncle had taught you to play nice. All that power must be going to your head, Zuzu."

"It's not. I'm having…a bad day. Or a bad week, actually," Zuko said, gesturing toward the chairs before the fire. Azula settled herself in, crossing her long legs and staring at him with a mysterious smile on her red lips. "So…uh…how have you been?"

"If you really cared, you would have found me and asked me that question four years ago."

Zuko let out a breath. He'd almost forgotten how difficult it was having a simple conversation with her was. "I do care, Azula. I stopped looking for you because I thought you wanted it that way."

"You're right, I did," she said with an easy shrug. "I'm just messing with you."

"Okay," he said, willing to play along if she wanted it that way. "Really, how have you been?"

"Do you mean am I still crazy?"

"Uhhhh…"

Azula tipped back her head and laughed. "Oh, Zuzu, I forgot how much fun you are!"

"Well, you can see why I'd worry… About you. And…you know, myself."

Azula's laugh petered out and she licked her lips. "I'm…better. Rest your crown-heavy head, Zuzu. I'm not about to fling myself off of a sky bison. And I've stopped…seeing things."

"Oh. That's…that's good. So, what have you been doing, where have you been living?"

Azula shifted uncomfortably and then plastered a bright smile on her face. "Oh…this and that. I tend not to stay in one place for very long. I like to travel. I've made some interesting friends."

He nodded, wondering what she was avoiding. He knew her too well to think that she was telling him the whole truth.

"So you just happened to travel this way when I'm throwing a ball?"

"Of course. I mean, if my brother is going to choose a wife, I should get to know her first, right?" she said viciously, causing him to groan and lean back in his chair. He rubbed at his forehead.

"I'm not choosing a wife. That's not what this ball is for."

"Why not? Is it because you're sleeping with your bodyguard instead?" Zuko dropped his hand and stared at her in shock. _How far had that damned rumor gone? _Azula grinned at him shamelessly. "How is dear Suki, by the way?"

"Don't believe everything you hear, Azula."

She lifted her hands. "It's none of my business if you're having an affair with a servant."

"We're not—! _Where did you hear that?_"

"It's all over the Capitol. I heard you were caught in bed together by an assassin. Is that why there's an increase in security? I practically got strip-searched when I arrived."

"That's…that's not what happened. There was an assassin. But we weren't—Suki and I… I didn't. Not in bed. We're…" Zuko stammered and then stopped himself as Azula chuckled.

"Relax, Zuzu. I believe you." He took a deep breath, wishing his face would stop that damnable blushing. Azula was laughing at him again. How did she have the power to make him feel like a complete and utter idiot? She hadn't even been there ten minutes! "It's not like I really care anyway. So…you and Mai didn't work out, huh?"

"No. We didn't. We broke up two years ago."

Azula smiled mysteriously. "I know. She's the one who sent me here."

"What?" he asked in confusion.

"I lied. I didn't just happen to come for a visit. Mai sent me here. "

Zuko's brow furrowed. "Why?"

"To kill you."

Zuko blinked at her. "Mai sent you to kill me?"

Azula shrugged. "It must have been a bad breakup."

"I wasn't aware that it was _that_ bad."

"You're not aware of a lot of things, Zuzu. Like the fact that last year Mai recruited me to a terrorist cell that wants to destroy your reign, your army, and ultimately, the Harmony Restoration Movement. I think they'd like to put me on the throne in your place, actually. The assassin you killed was one of ours, who botched the job. So they sent me and my companion to the palace to do it properly. I honestly didn't think you'd let me anywhere near you, but you always were so trusting, Zuzu. It's a good thing you told your bodyguards to leave us alone together."

Zuko just stared at her, too shocked by the sudden outpouring of information to do much of anything else. "You're serious."

They stared at one another. Azula didn't flinch or look away. He should have known better. He should have known he couldn't trust her. Four years and she was still dangerous and unstable.

"My bodyguards are on the other side of that door right now."

"You don't want to call for help. My companion is on his way, and he won't be happy if we're having a fight to the death. He's a dangerous man. He'll be really angry."

"Where's your companion?"

Azula's lips quirked at the corners. "He went to get Suki."

Zuko jumped to his feet, flames sprouting on his hands. "If he touches her I'll—"

Azula tipped her head back and laughed again. "You may not be sleeping with her, but you're definitely in love with her, Zuzu. Some rumors are true, after all. Won't this be interesting. Sit down, brother dear. If my companion hears of a fight in the Fire Lord's suite, he's been instructed to—"

"Damn you, Azula. I knew I shouldn't trust you."

An expression he couldn't read flickered over Azula's face before she said savagely. "Sit down, or things won't go well for any of us."

Zuko swallowed and glanced at the door. He should shout for help. It's what Suki and the Council had told him to do. But if he did, Suki was dead.

Setting his jaw, Zuko sank into his seat across from Azula, seething with rage. "What now?"

Azula examined her red nails and smiled. "Now, we wait."

* * *

"I want all of you on your guard. I know it's a ball, but you'll be there to work. Keep an eye on Zuko, but mingle in the crowd. Watch for signs of danger. Jiang's guards are patting down everyone who enters, but keep vigilant. I don't want any surprises tomorrow night," Suki said to her assembled Warriors.

Including herself, there were ten Kyoshi Warriors in Zuko's employ, and seven of them were assembled before her. Qing and Aiko were currently guarding Zuko in his suite, but Ty Lee, Xiuying, Mei Lin, Kikki, Rin, Chao-Ahn and Tam stared at her from their respectful positions on the floor, their hands neatly folded in their laps. They were all sweating in their full uniforms. The heat in the palace was unbearable and her temper was high as a result.

_Sure. It's just the heat_, she told herself wryly and turned her thoughts away for Zuko for the millionth tie that day.

She'd just be happy when the stupid ball as over and done with and things got back to normal. _Right. Normal. As if I know what that means. I'm pretty sure things are never going to be normal again. Not since Zuko— No, stop. Stop thinking about him. He was right. No matter how mad you are at Sokka, that doesn't give you the right to kiss someone else. So just stop. Whatever your feelings are doing, just stop._

"Okay," she said, forcing herself to focus. "I think that's about it for the briefing. Remember to dress in civilian Fire Nation clothing. I want you to blend in as much as possible. No paint, but keep your weapons on you. You'll have to be cleared by the seneschal, so make sure they recognize you when you enter."

The girls nodded and stood. Kikki glanced at the others and then asked, "Are you coming to the ball, Captain?"

She pulled a tight, humorless smile. "Of course. Why wouldn't I?"

"It's just… What with everything…"

Suki's eyebrow lifted and she inhaled sharply, her teeth setting. "I won't let some stupid, baseless rumor keep me from doing my duty."

"But your shoulder…" Xiuying started, but Suki cut her off.

"Is healing. You're all dismissed," she said curtly, in a tone that brooked no argument.

One by one the girls filed out of her room, whispering amongst themselves and glancing back at her. She fought the urge to throw a dagger at one of their backs, and instead smoothed her sweaty hands down the front of her uniform. She let out a breath as the door closed, then jumped when she turned around and came face to face with Ty Lee.

She clutched her chest in surprise. "I thought you'd left! What are doing?"

"Oh, nothing," Ty Lee said brightly, flashing a wide grin. "I was just wondering if you knew how absolutely miserable Zuko's been lately? And why?"

Her face flushed beneath her makeup. "Why would I know that?"

"Right, of course. How would you know how he's been, since you've been avoiding him all week."

"I haven't been avoi—"

"Yeah, you have. We've all heard the rumors, you know."

"And you believe them?" she challenged the shorter girl, whipping around on her with blazing eyes. "_You_, of all people?"

"Of course not. I know they're not true. But I also know there _is _something going on between the two of you. You kissed…"

"We're just friends," she said firmly.

"Right, and keeping your distance will certainly keep things that way. Meanwhile, you're both walking around like you've got a mortal stab wound and might die at any moment. Zuko's yelling at everyone and when he's not doing that, he refuses to speak to anyone."

"What's…what's your point, Ty Lee?" she said, hiding the way her hands were suddenly shaking. Ty Lee shrugged and started toward the door. She stopped at the door and then turned back to face her.

"Suki, I know what it's like having rumors circulating about you because of who you're dating or who you have feelings for. What people say can hurt. A lot. But you have to ignore them and do what you want. And…maybe I just think that if everyone is going to talk about you, you might as well give them something _worth_ talking about…and have some fun while you're doing it. Instead of making yourself miserable," Ty Lee said.

"What do you want me to do, Ty Lee? Have an affair with Zuko?" Suki scoffed.

"I didn't say that. I just think that if you really, really wanted to be with Sokka you wouldn't have fifty half-started replies to his letter sitting on your desk right now. And you certainly wouldn't be _here_ when you could be _there. _Zuko gave you time off. You could be halfway to the Southern Water Tribe by now. But you're not."

Suki glanced at her desk, at the letters she'd started and either scribbled out or crumpled up. "It's not that simple."

"It rarely is. With all due respect, Captain, get your shit together," Ty lee said and then headed toward the door. She left with a bow, leaving Suki standing in the middle of her suite, her gut in knots and her fingernails digging into her palm.

_If she thought that was helpful, she was pretty damned wrong. _

It wasn't her fault Zuko was acting weird. She had stayed away from him at his request. It felt strange, wrong even, not to see him every day, to talk, to laugh and joke with him. To spend time in the practice ring, working out their frustrations together. She felt like she was missing a limb. Or even worse, a torso. She just…missed him. Keenly. Sharply.

_She's right though. Zuko told me to take time off…so why haven't I gone to see Sokka?_

Guilt suffused her as she sighed and sat down at her desk. She reached into the top drawer and pulled out Sokka's letter. She reread it again, hoping for insight and inspiration. Ty Lee was right about that too. She hadn't had the nerve to write him back, afraid of what she might say if she unlocked the floodgate. She'd started too many times, only to chicken out and crumple them up. The idea of seeing him face to face was even more unfathomable. What would she say? What would she feel?

_Ugh. Nothing makes sense anymore._

"Damn," she mumbled and shoved the letter back in the drawer, snapping it closed. For now, she was content to deal with Sokka the same way she was dealing with the rumors: by ignoring it.

One advantage of avoiding Zuko was that she hadn't come in contact with any of his Councilors since the night of the attack. Now that she definitely knew that they wanted her gone, she hoped to continue the trend. The rumor about the two of them was still flying thick and heavy all around the palace. She'd passed several servants, more than a few guards, and an infinite number of Fire Nation girls hoping to marry Zuko in the halls who had stopped and glared at her. Some of them had even openly called her some not-so-kind names.

_I've been painfully celibate for ten months and yet somehow I've managed to gain a reputation as a slut. Will wonders never cease?_

Suki ran a hand through her hair and hung her head. The ball was tomorrow. All she wanted was to get it over and done with. Maybe after that life would start making sense again.

_Yeah, right._

Standing, Suki stretched and then headed toward the bathing chamber. A nice cold bath to wash the sweat from her body, and a fresh bandage and some soothing ointment on her shoulder was in order. Maybe some chamomile tea and a plate of fresh, cold fruit… She wanted to forget her troubles for a little while.

And keep her mind firmly off of Zuko.

As she walked into her bathing room, she felt the air stir at her left. Her instincts kicked in quicker than thought and she turned in place, striking out with her right fist. The blow took the black-clad figure hiding behind the door in the face, knocking him back against the wall.

He recovered in an instant, blocking the next blow she aimed at his face. He turned her strike and their arms tangled. Her injured shoulder gave a throb of pain as she shifted her weight, grabbed the assailant, jammed her hurt shoulder beneath his ribcage and threw him over her shoulder.

He landed on the floor before her with a smack hard enough to crack the tiles. The wind rushed out of him as she grabbed the dagger from her belt. Her booted foot came down on his throat as she bent over him.

"Who are you? What do you want?"

"Ssssuuukiii… Suki, isssh meeee…"

"Speak up, asshole," Suki said, noticing the black flame tattoo peaking from a gap in his black shirt. She stepped off of his throat, reached down, grabbed him by the front of his shirt and put the knife to his jugular. "Who do you work for?"

A laugh escaped him as he stared at her with bright blue eyes. Blood trickled down the corner of his split lips. "Don't you recognize me?"

"Who do you work for?" she barked as he scoffed.

"Suki! It's me, dammit!"

Suki stared at him, eyes widening as recognition slowly crawled over her. Her mouth opened and she dropped him back onto the cracked tile as her hand went numb.

"…SOKKA?!"


	7. Part VII

**PART VII:**

* * *

Nothing made sense. The man before her looked nothing like the Sokka she'd known since she was fifteen-years-old. She backed up a step, mouth gaping as she squinted at him, looking past the chin-length hair, streaked with brilliant red, the heavy, day's old stubble across his square jaw, the line of gold earrings running down the outside edge of both ears, the black flame tattoo on his chest, and the red and black flames tattooed on his muscular arms. He was wearing black leather pants, and a thin, black sleeveless shirt piped with red.

He looked nothing like Sokka, except for those Water Nation blue eyes and the exasperated expression on his face as he swiped at the blood on his lips with a gloved hand.

"What the fuck?" she exclaimed, touching her fingers to her temples and then throwing out her hands, as if that might force the world to start making sense again. "WHAT. THE. FUCK?"

"Well, it's good to see you too," Sokka said dryly, and slowly climbed to his feet. He rubbed at his bruising throat and then looked her up and down. "You can drop the knife."

She glanced at the knife and then slid it back into the sheath at her belt with a smooth gesture. She lifted her chin and glared at him. "What are you doing here? I thought you were at the Southern Water Tribe. Why did you attack me?"

"Actually, _you_ attacked _me_," he said, his tongue pressing into the bloody cut on his lip. Suki paused, trying to remember what had just happened. She blushed as she realized that he was right.

She drew herself up. "You surprised me, okay? Why were you hiding behind my door? How did you get in? How long were you there? And why do you look like…_that?_"

"That's a long story, and I don't have time to tell it right now," Sokka said, going to the open bathroom door and glancing into her suite. "Good, all the girls are gone."

"Why is that good?"

"Because I don't want anyone to know I'm here in the palace," he said and then reached out, grasping her wrist. "Now I need you to—"

Suki yanked her wrist out of his hand and backed up a step, her gaze on the black flame tattoo on his chest. "Why do you have that? I've seen it before. On an assassin who put a knife in my shoulder and tried to kill Zuko."

Sokka glanced down at his chest and then up at her again. He looked frustrated, harried. And for the first time, she noticed the dark circles under his eyes, the leanness of his face, the hard line of his shoulders, the burn scars beneath the tattoos, the old bruise fading on his cheek. He looked like a man who'd been through hell and back. "There's a perfectly good explanation, but we really do not have time for it. I need you to get to Zuko's suite right now. Azula and I…"

Suki's heart leaped, her stomach dropped and her hand went to the knife on her belt again. "Azula! What do you mean? Are…are you working with _Azula?"_

"Yes."

"For how long?"

"For about ten months now."

"Ten _months?_" She couldn't help but note that that was the same amount of time she'd spent waiting for a letter from him. She glared at him. "What the hell have you two been doing for _ten months?_"

"Suki—"

"Where is she?"

"She's with Zuko, and…it's….it's not what you think. I can explain everything, I swear. But right now we have to stop Zuko from doing something stupid, like attacking Azula. If that happens, we're all dead!"

"Why would—?"

Sokka wiped his hand down his face and grasped her shoulders. "Suki! Do you trust me?"

She stared up into Sokka's blue eyes. Did she trust him? What a question… Five minutes ago she would have answered yes unwaveringly, but now… It was hard to know what to feel through the shock of his sudden appearance_. _

_It's Sokka. Sokka…_

She took a deep breath and then nodded. "I trust you."

A ghost of a smile hit Sokka's lip and then faded beneath a serious scowl. "Good. Then you need to get to Zuko's suite as soon as possible. I need you to go ahead alone, and dismiss the guards you've got on his door."

"Why?"

"Because there's someone in the palace who wants Zuko dead. We don't know who it is, and frankly I don't trust anybody in the palace _but_ you and Zuko. No one can know I'm in his suite, or that you know I'm here, not even the other Kyoshi Warriors. If they get wind that I'm not who I say I am, that Azula and I aren't on their side, they'll cover their tracks and we'll never catch them."

"The girls would never—"

"Suki, please… Zuko's life is in danger. Azula's too. And maybe mine, if things go according to plan." Her mouth opened in protest, but she slammed it closed and he went on. "If you trust me, I need you to do this. I _will _explain everything, I promise."

"Okay, but what about you?"

"Don't worry about me. I'll get to Zuko's suite on my own," Sokka said as he herded her toward the door. "Just hurry. Azula's probably made everything worse."

"If something happens to Zuko, I swear…" she said with a tight throat.

Sokka stopped, and an odd expression flickered across his face for a moment. Then he seemed to clamp down on it and avoided her gaze. "Go. I'll follow close behind."

He practically shoved her out of the door of her suite and into the stifling heat of the hallway. The door closed and she stared at it for a few seconds and then took off for Zuko's suite at a brisk pace. She wanted to break into a run, but too many people would wonder why she was running. If Sokka was right, she couldn't afford to answer questions, or to gather any suspicions about her behavior.

Despite the fact that she trusted Sokka, she still didn't know exactly what was going on. That someone was trying to kill Zuko wasn't surprising, not after the botched assassination attempt, but the fact that Sokka thought someone in the palace was responsible was. Who would be trying to kill Zuko? What would they gain from it?

And why was Sokka obviously undercover, and why was he working with Azula, of all people. Nothing about the situation made even the slightest bit of sense, but he'd promised to explain, and she'd promised to trust him.

She put a neutral expression on her face as she walked up the grand, winding stairs that lead to Zuko's suite at the top of the tallest tower in the palace. The climb had always seemed long to her, but now it seemed interminable as she kept up a purposeful, but steady pace. Her limbs ached to run, to close the distance between her and Zuko, to get between him and disaster, and whatever assassin's blade was closing in on his neck.

She was sweating by the time she approached his doorway. Aiko and Qing seemed surprised to see her and saluted her smartly. The hall was stuffy and hot, and there were no windows to draw in a breeze to cool it. Someone had placed clay pots of water in the corners of the hall, in an attempt to cool the air through evaporation, but the humidity just turned it all to soup. Sweat beaded through Aiko's white makeup, and blurred the sharp black lines of her eye makeup.

"Captain…" Aiko started, glancing back at Zuko's wide door, which was closed. "What are you doing here?"

"I need to speak to the Fire Lord about the security plans for the ball tomorrow," she said in a voice that didn't waver.

"He…has a visitor…" Aiko said as Qing nodded. "Princess Azula."

Suki's eyebrow raised and she glared at the two of them. "And who authorized her to have access to the Fire Lord? I certainly didn't."

"The Fire Lord, actually," Qing said, lowering her voice, presumably so that no one inside of the suite could hear her. "She just barged in, Captain. We weren't sure if we should stop her, her being the princess and all. Zuko's the one who let her in and told us to stand guard out here."

"We were just following his orders."

"Of course you were," she sighed and then looked them both over. "Nevertheless, word should have been sent to me that the princess had gained access to the Fire Lord. Don't let this happen a second time."

"Yes, Captain."

"Now, Zuko and I will probably be busy all afternoon. The two of you look hot and sweaty. Why don't you take the rest of your shift off? I'll take it from here."

Qing nodded and then bowed to her; there was nothing unusual about her command, after all. She frequently guarded Zuko by herself, often enough that it wouldn't be suspicious, but Aiko looked worried. "Are you sure, Captain? We remember how Azula was…"

She waved her hand at them and touched the handle of Zuko's massive door. "Thank you, girls. You're dismissed."

Qing seemed grateful to escape the oppressive, stuffy heat of the hallway and Aiko slowly followed her. She hesitated at the steps, casting a strained look back at Suki for a moment before turning to follow Qing out of sight down the stairs.

Suki breathed out in relief and turned back to the door. She didn't know what to expect on the other side. Zuko, certainly, and perhaps in danger even now. Azula…still crazy, unhinged and murderous? Who knew. And Sokka… Sokka, who looked nothing like the man she'd known for so long…

_Sokka, what have you gotten yourself into this time? What's on the other side of this door?_

There was no telling and delaying the inevitable would only make it worse. She grabbed the knife from the sheath at her waist and held it lightly in her palm, ready to throw if it came to that. She couldn't hear anything through the heavy door, but that meant nothing, considering the Aiko and Rin hadn't heard the fight with the assassin through them until the balcony doors had shattered. That was a security issue she'd have to rectify soon.

She didn't bother to knock, and instead opened the door a crack and slipped inside.

"Suki!"

She barely had time to glance around the room, clocking the corners of the room and the woman in the chair, before her gaze met Zuko's. She saw fear in his eyes, and was bewildered that the fear was for _her. _Then he was out of his chair and running at her, a ball of fire glowing defensively in his palm.

"Zuko, what…?"

He grabbed her, pulling her away from the door. He glared at it, the ball of fire sparking fitfully. "Where is he? Did he hurt you? I swear I'll kill him if he put one hand on you!"

"What are you talking about? What's going on?" she asked, gripping Zuko's arm. He turned wild eyes on her and she saw confusion in his gaze as well. Whatever was happening, he was just as lost as she was.

"Azula said—" he started, gesturing toward the woman seated in a gold-brocaded chair a few feet away. It took Suki a moment before it sunk in. The last time she'd seen Azula, the girl had been wild-eyed and unstable, barely coherent and dangerous.

Now there was a thinness to her that spoke of hard times, hollows in her cheeks, a stiffness to her shoulders, and shadows beneath her eyes that no amount of makeup could hide. There was something familiar about her appearance, about the way she held herself, like she'd been fighting for her life for days on end and wanted nothing more than to rest. Despite the clear signs of exhaustion on her, Zuko's sister, if possible, had grown more beautiful over the years. And no doubt, more deadly.

Right now she was smirking at Suki, watching Zuko as he protected her from an enemy that wasn't there. As Suki met her shining gaze, she could see amusement there, buried somewhere beneath the obvious alertness that lurked in the corners of Azula's mind.

The feeling of familiarity started to make sense; Azula and Sokka both had the same look about them, like hunted animals. All of the words on her lips sank back down her throat and she stared at Azula, unsure what to think, unable to speak, to explain anything.

"She said you were in danger," Zuko finished softly, when it was obvious there was no danger nipping on her heels, ready to burst through the door and draw blood.

"Actually, I didn't say that. You _assumed_ that she was and I just let you," Azula said boredly.

"What?" Zuko snarled, taking a step toward his sister, the flames in his hands flaring up like a bonfire out of control. "But you said that Mai sent you here to kill me, that you were working with someone, and that he was going after Suki!"

"Well, technically none of that was a lie. You just assumed the worst. Honestly, it's like you don't trust me at all," Azula said and then smiled at Suki. "You're being awfully quiet. Zuzu, maybe you should ask your girlfriend who my companion is?"

Zuko turned confused eyes on her, the fire in his hands making yellow light dance in his eyes, and causing shadows to nest in the uneven skin around his scarred eye. Azula's words were like a slap to the face.

_Girlfriend._

She thought of that odd look on Sokka's face when she'd nearly run from the room, thinking Zuko was in danger. She suddenly knew without a doubt that he had heard the rumors about her and Zuko. After all, if Azula knew, then so did Sokka. She bit down on her tongue hard enough to draw blood.

She opened her mouth to speak, though she didn't know what she was going to say, or how she would go about explaining what was going on when she didn't even know herself. Before she could get out a word, there was the sound of rock scraping on rock from Zuko's bedroom, and seconds later a black-clad figure stepped into the room.

"What?" Zuko started, attempting to put himself between her and the stranger. Suki met Sokka's gaze and flinched as his blue eyes clocked the way Zuko's arm was across her, and the death grip she'd taken on his waist, the knife raised in defense, even though there was nothing to defend herself from. She wanted to tell Zuko his identity, that everything was going to be fine, but the words refused to come. "Who are you? How did you get in here?"

"Ah, Zuzu, I believe you already know my partner in crime," Azula said with some glee as he stepped up and stood beside her chair. "Sokka."

* * *

Nothing made sense. The name, coupled with the face before him didn't match up in the slightest. The stranger's sudden appearance had rattled him, thrown his already confused mind into a tailspin. He felt Suki's fingers dig into his waist as she lowered the knife and let out a none-too-steady breath.

"Zuko, it's me. Tell him, Suki," the black-clad stranger said in a familiar voice. Zuko blinked and glanced at Suki, whose face seemed even paler than usual beneath her layer of white makeup. Her chin trembled a little as she startled at the sound of her name. She looked up at him and nodded shortly, her fingers releasing from their clasp on his robes.

He peered at Sokka, trying to find his friend beneath the unfamiliar hair, the beard, the red and black tattoos on his arms. There was very little of the man he knew in there; the man before him looked dangerous, like he'd killed someone with his bare hands and was prepared to do it again at any moment. He walked forward and placed a gloved hand on the back of Azula's chair. His sister was grinning, as if she'd just heard the funniest joke in the world.

"What did you say to him? I thought we were going to do this quietly," Sokka said accusingly to Azula, who pouted a little.

"You never let me have any fun. You should have seen him squirm. It was funny."

"Dammit, Azula."

Zuko dropped his hand, extinguishing the flames dancing inches from his palm. He glared at the two of them, at Suki, and then said shortly, "Okay. Explain."

"It's a long story. You should probably sit down," Sokka said, pushing his long hair back behind one pierced ear.

"First tell me how you got in into my suite."

"There's a secret tunnel in your bedroom behind that landscape tapestry. Father had it built during the war," Azula piped up nonchalantly. "Don't worry. The only people who know about it are in this room. Well, I suppose Father does, but he's in prison, isn't he? And he had the builders killed so it wouldn't get out that he had a secret escape tunnel."

"And why did you use it?"

"Isn't it obvious, moron?" Azula said with an impatient sigh, dropping the hand she'd been studying boredly. "Sokka is undercover. He couldn't be seen walking into the Fire Lord's suite, could he?"

_That _he understood, at least. He needed more answers though, and he needed them _now._

Zuko glanced at Suki again, but she seemed stone-faced, stunned, her lips pressed into a thin line. Concern flooded him and he reached out, touching her hand. "Are you okay?"

She blinked and glanced down at their hands, then yanked her hand away. "I'm fine. I think you two should explain." She turned back to the others and crossed the room, sinking down into a chair carefully, avoiding everyone's gaze. Zuko followed her, looking up and catching Sokka's gaze. There was a hardness in his blue eyes, a hardness Zuko had never seen there. He seemed angry, and hurt, and he looked as world-weary as his sister did.

"Why are you undercover? Start at the beginning," he demanded as he sat down in the chair beside Suki's. Sokka remained standing; he seemed too alert to relax, and his eyes kept shifting to the newly-rebuilt balcony doors, as if he didn't trust their sturdiness.

"I already told Suki," Sokka started, glancing at her and then away again. "Someone in the palace wants to kill you. They sent that assassin after you last week, and when that failed, they sent Azula and me in to finish the job."

Zuko held up his hands. "Why are you and Azula…? What is going on between you two?"

Azula smirked and Sokka made an odd noise in his throat, and then said through clenched teeth, "About ten months ago, Azula came to me in Republic City and told me that Mai had recruited her to a terrorist cell called the Smoke Demons. They're the remnants of the New Ozai Society that operated a few years ago. Only instead of sowing political unrest and trying to put Ozai back in power, they're only interested in one thing—killing you and putting someone of their choosing on the throne."

Zuko absorbed the information and then said slowly, "_Mai_ recruited you? You weren't lying about that?"

Azula grinned. "They approached her after your big breakup, probably thinking that she'd turn on you and would want nothing more than to be instrumental in your downfall. Good thing for you, she didn't hate your guts…although _why_, I'll never know. Relax, Zuzu. She didn't turn on you. She's been playing double agent and has risen fairly high in the ranks of the Smoke Demons."

Somehow that information eased a few of his nerves; the thought that Mai really _had_ turned on him, and had sent his sister to assassinate him had been quite a blow. Now he felt guilty for thinking that it might have been true.

"The only problem is," Sokka said, "she isn't high enough in the ranks to tell us who the agent in the palace is. That information is kept a secret by the leaders of the Smoke Demons…and Mai has never met them. She doesn't even know their names."

"Okay, so how did you get involved?" he asked, turning to his sister.

"I told you, Mai recruited me. She used that wretched June and her shirshu to sniff me out. And believe me, recruiting me was _not_ her idea. She was commanded to find me by her higher ups…apparently she thought that I would blow her cover. Or that I'd actually relish the chance to assassinate the Fire Lord."

It was Suki who spoke up and said sarcastically, "Where would she get an idea like that?"

Azula and Suki glared at each other for a long moment before Azula laughed. "Good point. But I'll have you know that from the moment Mai walked in and started going on and on about how you should be taken off the throne and how your breakup affected her, I knew she was lying. She was angry with you, hurt. But there is no way that Mai would ever want _you_ dead, Zuzu. I finally got the truth out of her, after a few drinks. I agreed to join, so that I could watch her back…and yours as well."

Zuko studied his sister's face, looking for the lie, looking for anything that might give him a clue as to why his sister would try and protect him. He couldn't find it. It didn't make sense.

"Why did you do that? Why protect me?"

Azula shifted in her seat. "Frankly, I did it because I was bored. It seemed like fun. So much intrigue. It beat tramping around the world, playing mercenary."

_There _was the lie. He knew it, and so did she. He let it slide though.

"There was only one problem. The Smoke Demons don't trust her," Sokka said, perching on the edge of Azula's chair. Azula glanced up at him and pulled a little smirk as she studied his profile for a long moment.

Then she said, "From what I understand, there was some contention within the higher ranks about bringing me in. There are some that want me to replace you on the throne, so long as I do their bidding. A puppet Fire Lord, if you will, with them pulling the strings. Others want to abolish the Royal Family altogether. This is information I wasn't supposed to hear. Basically I'm useful to the Smoke Demons so long as I do as they say, and if I become inconvenient to them, I believe they'll try to have me killed. Or at least they could try."

"So how did Sokka become involved?" Suki asked tightly.

Azula and Sokka exchanged amused glances. "Once I realized that I was…in a bit over my head, I knew that I needed help; an ally who would be willing to risk their life to save yours. Someone the Smoke Demons might not recognize. The Avatar was out, obviously and so were the little blind Earthbender and the Avatar's Waterbender. They're all too recognizable. I figured Sokka was the best I could do."

"Ten months ago she showed up in Republic City…actually it was about two days after you two had left. After your last visit. I didn't believe her at first. We had a bit of an argument."

"Actually you _attacked_ me when I showed up in your office."

"And I kicked your ass, too," Sokka said, lifting an eyebrow and grinning down at her.

"Did not."

"Did too."

"I left a scar."

"I told you, that was already there," Azula said, jabbing her elbow into his hip. Zuko lifted one brow, staring at the two of them. Nothing about the exchange was right. The last time Azula and Sokka had been together, they'd been at each other's throats. Now they were teasing each other like old friends. There was comfortableness there, and the argument had the feel of an old one. He glanced at Suki, but she was still stone-faced, staring at the carpet, her fingers clenched tightly in her lap.

Zuko cleared his throat and Sokka started, glancing back at the two of them as if remembering where he was.

"Anyway, after a lot of convincing, Azula finally got through to me and I agreed to join the Smoke Demons under an assumed identity. They know me as Tazeo, a Fire Nation colonist who resents the Harmony Restoration Movement. Azula vouched for me, said that we had worked together a few times."

"Do Katara and Aang know about this?" he asked, brow furrowed.

"They do. Katara's been covering for me. We've passed around the story that I went to the South Pole to visit my family. No one can know where I am, or where I've been."

"Not even me."

Suki's voice was soft, hurt, angry, with just enough of each that the words came out accusatorily. Sokka's jaw clenched and he took to his feet again.

"Suki…" he started, obviously struggling with what to say to her. Zuko found himself staring at Azula's hands; he noticed that they were suddenly knuckle-white, her red nails digging into her palms. "I wanted to tell you. But everything happened so fast, and writing to you might have broken my cover. Not only that but we couldn't be sure that the spy in the palace wouldn't intercept my letter. We decided that the best thing to do was—"

"Don't bother explaining," Suki said in a rush, lifting her head and meeting Sokka's gaze. Zuko could tell by the set of her jaw that she was angry. Possibly angrier than he'd ever seen her.

"But I did try! Last week! When we found out they were sending an assassin."

Zuko remembered the letter Sokka had sent Suki, and as he watched Suki, he knew that she remembered too.

"You didn't say anything in that letter about an assassin!"

"Because I couldn't! The only thing I could tell you was to watch Zuko's back. I thought…"

"Nevermind the letter," Suki said sharply. "So after she recruited you, then what happened?"

Azula and Sokka looked at each other again and then looked away quickly. "We were sent out. On assignment."

"What does that mean?" Zuko pressed.

Sokka sighed. "The Smoke Demons don't just want to take you out, Zuko. They want to take down the Fire Nation's army, so that when they kill you, there will be no one to oppose them. We believe they've been infiltrating the army. We don't know by how many agents, or their ranks. All we know for sure is that they sent us out, searching for weapons caches, factories, warehouses. It was our job to burn them to the ground, and get the weapons to the rebels."

Rage flared through Zuko and he stood, eyes flashing, lips curling back from his teeth in a snarl. "And you just did it? You went along with it, while my people burned? There was an orphanage last month that burned down because of the Smoke Demons! Children died!"

Azula stood up so quickly that she knocked over her chair. She backed up a few steps, her face suddenly paper white. "NO! That wasn't us! That wasn't us. That wasn't us. That wasn't us. THAT WASN'T _ME_!"

Zuko's eyes widened at the sudden change in Azula's amused, almost bored demeanor. She looked like she was on the verge of a panic attack as her hands lifted, her nails digging into her cheeks. She squeezed her eyes shut, chanting in a frantic voice.

"What's wrong with her?" Zuko exclaimed, her sudden panic infecting him.

Sokka ignored his question and reached out, touching Azula's wrists, trying to gently pry her nails out of her face. He murmured to her in a soothing voice, "Shhh… It's okay. Remember where you are, Azula. Focus on me. Remember? Remember what's real."

Suki stepped up beside him, watching the two of them with an odd expression on her face.

"What's real?" Azula whispered, heaving out a shaky breath.

"I'm real. Remember? I'm real. Focus on me," Sokka said soothingly.

"You're real. _You _are. Sokka…" Azula breathed and then closed her eyes. She let out another shaky breath, and the air seemed to suddenly deflate out of her. Sokka pulled her forward and pressed his face into her hair for a moment, and then turned back to Zuko and Suki.

"She…uh…has relapses sometimes. She's getting better though," he said nervously, avoiding Suki's gaze. Azula suddenly pushed away from Sokka and smoothed her hand down the front of her shirt. As suddenly as her attack had come on, it had had faded. Zuko gaped at her.

"Don't sugarcoat it, Sokka. They know I'm crazy," she said shortly.

"Don't call yourself that."

"Shut up," Azula snapped at him and walked forward, her chin lifting in defiance. "We did what we had to do. If we had refused they would have killed us."

"That's the price you pay for disobedience when you join the Smoke Demons."

Azula nodded. "The New Ozai Society was made up of a bunch of soft-bellied bureaucrats and rich assholes who didn't like their sudden change in social status once Father was dethroned. They wanted you gone, but they didn't have the stomach for real revolution, and that's why they didn't succeed. The Smoke Demons are different. They'll do anything to destroy you, even if it means burning the Fire Nation to the ground."

"We had to do it. Every single horrible thing we did…we had no choice, not if we were going to get close enough to warn you about what they were planning," Sokka said.

"Why not just come to me yourself? Tell me in person!" Zuko exclaimed.

"Because we still don't know who the spy is! All we know is that they're in the palace. They could be anyone, and they want you dead. We're afraid if they find out you know about their existence they'll cover their tracks and we'll never find them."

Suki lifted her hands. "So why did they send you two?"

Azula's mouth twisted a little. "After that botched assassination the other day, we volunteered. I told them that I could get close enough to you to get the job done."

"Except," Sokka sighed, "they forbid Azula from assassinating you."

"I don't know why that's a relief, but it is," Zuko said dryly, crossing his arms over his chest. "Why would they do that?"

"Because it'd be hard to put her on the throne if the Fire Nation thinks she's responsible for your murder. They want_ me_ to do it…" Sokka fell silent for a moment, something obviously troubling him. Azula took up the thread.

"They gave him a suicide mission, actually. It's his job to kill you at this stupid Ball you're throwing. In front of everyone. And he's supposed to die in the attempt. Tazeo is so dedicated to the cause that he didn't hesitate to agree to his own untimely demise, the idiot," Azula said, glancing sharply at Sokka.

"Azula…"

"Well, you _are_ an idiot. This whole plan is idiotic," she sighed and then threw out her hands with a roll of her eyes. "And yet here we are."

"I take it you're not going to try and kill me?" Zuko said carefully as Sokka snorted a little.

"I'm pretty Suki would stop me if I tried," Sokka said, in an odd tone, one that worked on Suki like a firebrand. Sokka clocked her reaction and then plowed on, "In fact, I'm counting on it. We have a plan. I _am_ going to attack you at the Ball. And Suki_ is_ going to stop me. You're going to throw me in the dungeon."

"And what will that do?" Suki said in an aggressive voice. Zuko glanced between them, noting the anger, the tension. He studied Suki's face, but she was all business, focused on the task at hand.

"The Smoke Demons don't allow for failure. Whoever the agent in the palace is…they'll try and kill me to prevent me from talking. Especially if I'm vocal about what I know and if I hint that I know there's an agent in the palace…and that I know who it is."

"A suicide mission," Azula said tartly and then smacked Sokka on the back of the head. "See? Idiot."

"You really think they'll try and kill you?"

"They'll have no choice if they think I'm going to talk. If you three are there, waiting for them to shut me up, maybe we'll get our guy."

Zuko paced the floor, thinking. "There's just one thing I don't understand…"

"_One_ thing?" Suki muttered beside him, under her breath. He glanced at her in amusement.

"If there's an agent in the palace, why haven't they tried to kill me themselves?"

Azula and Sokka exchanged glances again, and something passed between them, unspoken. "We don't know. Possibly they don't want their cover blown if the attempt goes bad. Maybe they don't like to get their hands dirty? Or maybe there's more than one agent. We honestly don't know. Mai was only able to get so much information to us. All we really know is that your life is in danger and this is the only way to flush out the agent."

"And you don't have any clue who it is?" Suki asked.

"None. It could be anyone at all. That's why I went to Suki instead of coming here. We needed the two Kyoshi Warriors guarding the room out of earshot. We can't even trust them, I'm sorry. We just can't," Sokka said to Suki, but she was ignoring him. "No one can know we talked. That's why I used the tunnel."

Zuko went to the window, staring out at the hot Caldera. The wind was stiff, heavy with humidity.

"Are you sure this is the only way?"

"If you have a better plan, I'd love to hear it," Sokka said harshly.

Zuko stared out the window for a long time. He could feel the others waiting for him to say something. Finally, he turned around and looked each of them in the eye, lingering on Suki, who looked as pale as ever, and unsure, her hands held stiffly at her sides. She studied his gaze, and he knew from the expression on her face that she knew what he was thinking. She nodded.

"So?" he said, turning to the others. "How do we do this?"


	8. Part VIII

**PART VIII:**

* * *

Suki sat on the edge of Zuko's chair as he hunched over a letter, his brush moving rapidly. The line of his shoulders was stiff and his jaw was clenching and unclenching, little white streaks showing in his cheeks.

"Are you sure about this?" she asked him and he glanced up at her, studying her face for a long moment. "Can you trust him?"

"You know him as well as I do, Suki. General Mak is a good man, and loyal, too."

"He didn't tell you about the Smoke Demons until he absolutely had to," she pointed out, and Zuko shifted uncomfortably in place. "What if he's the one helping them infiltrate your army?"

"If General Mak wanted to take over and depose me, he could have done it years ago. And he's had plenty of access to me. If he wanted me dead, I would be," he said in a whisper, and then glanced back at Azula, who was speaking to Sokka in an undertone.

Suki forced her gaze away and looked back at him. "I hope you're right."

Zuko nodded wryly. "I hope I am too. And I hope my sister really isn't out to kill me, too."

"You think she's lying?"

"I think Azula's reasons for trying to save my life are non-existent, but the fact that Sokka trusts her…" he licked his lips and glanced back at the two of them. "If anything, I know that I can trust _him._ Or at least I hope I can…what with everything…"

He met her gaze and she understood what he was thinking perfectly. Sokka and Azula had obviously heard the rumors. There were loaded questions practically swimming in the air between the four of them, so thick and knotted that they might never be properly unraveled.

Guilt was making a pit in her stomach. It felt like a live coal was lodged somewhere behind her heart, and whenever she looked at Sokka, it just got worse. _He knows. He knows about me and Zuko… Or at least he thinks he does…_

But even though the rumors about them sleeping together weren't true…wasn't it just as bad that they had kissed? That she clearly had feelings for him? She couldn't deny that she did. What could she say to Sokka, how could she explain?

Then there was the fact that, once she'd gotten over her initial shock at his sudden appearance, the anger she'd felt at his abandonment had come back on her. She couldn't stop it. She was angry. And he knew it.

What she really wanted—needed—was a moment alone so she could collect her thoughts and work through things. With all of the planning for the fake assassination attempt at the ball, she hadn't had time to breathe, let alone think of the tangle her love life had become.

"Just deny it," Zuko said, so softly she nearly didn't hear him. "Just deny it, Suki and if he asks, it was me. You didn't do anything wrong. It was all me. My mistake to make."

Startled, Suki met Zuko's gaze, and saw the plea there, the hidden sadness, the acceptance. "Zuko…"

Zuko ignored her, putting the finishing touches on the letter. He sealed it up as she reached out, touching his shoulder. Zuko stood and shot her a sad, tight-lipped smile. "It's not your fault. None of it is."

"I kissed you back," she whispered, feeling desperate, even though she wasn't sure why. Here was her out. She could lay blame on his doorstep if it came to that. But what kind of person would that make her? A liar, that's what. Zuko _had_ kissed her first…but she had kissed him back. Would have _kept _kissing him if they hadn't been interrupted. Surely, Zuko knew that.

"He doesn't need to know that. I won't get between you, I won't do that. The rumors are already out there…but I won't cause you anymore pain. Not if I can help it," he said and she felt his hand gently brush hers, then slide away. He turned on her before she could protest, and said to Sokka and Azula, quietly arguing in the corner of the large room, "I've explained everything to the General."

"I'm not sure you can trust him," Sokka said, walking toward them as Azula glanced at Suki and then toward the window. Suki didn't miss the annoyed twist of her lips. It was good to know that _some_ things hadn't changed over the years. Azula still hated her, if nothing else.

"We have to take the chance," Zuko said. "The letter won't reach him until after the ball, so even if he's the one orchestrating the infiltration of the army, alerting him that we know of the plot won't hurt us. If he's going to attack us using my own army, I'd rather we forced his hand now than wait for a sneak attack. And if he's not in on it, then I want him aware of the agents as soon as possible. We can't wait on this."

"I can't fault that logic," Sokka said, but then gestured to the letter. "And what about the letter? We don't know if your mail is being watched or not. How are you going to guarantee he gets it?"

Zuko thought a moment and then smiled. "I have a courier. We can trust him."

"I told you, we can't trust anyone in the palace."

"We can trust Wataa. He's the person I trust to carry my letters to mother and back," Zuko said, glancing at Azula, who had stiffened at Sokka's side. Sokka didn't look at her, but something in his body language changed, and Azula reacted to it. She nodded stiffly, but said nothing. "He also can't read."

"He's a little on the slow side, actually," Suki said. "He's pretty harmless and no one really looks at him twice."

"If you say so," Azula said easily as Suki held out her hand for the letter.

"I'll take it to him," she said. "And then I'm coming right back to guard you tonight. Just because we know who's supposed to assassinate you doesn't mean someone else won't try."

"No, you need to sleep. Send two of the girls."

"I told you, we can't trust them," Sokka insisted, but Zuko shook his head.

"The Kyoshi Warriors are all my trusted friends. I know them. They'd never betray me," Zuko said with some finality. He turned to Suki. "I'll be okay."

"I know you will be," she said and glanced at Sokka. "You should probably leave before they get here. Azula…"

"You can trust me alone with my own brother, you know. It's not like I'm here to assassinate him and take the throne, after all," she snorted and then glanced at Sokka. "Be careful."

Sokka touched her hand briefly. "I will." He turned back to Suki, but she avoided his gaze and turned to Zuko, who was looking slightly pale and seemed to be avoiding her eye.

_There's a lot of that going around_, she thought tiredly. She left the suite, letter in hand, and walked down the stairs, through the hot halls. The sun had gone down, but the heat of the day lingered. The air was heavy, like walking through soup. She found Wataa in the kitchens, where his mother worked as a cook. He agreed to deliver the letter and promised he wouldn't let anyone else look at it. She had to trust that he was true to his word.

That task done, she walked through the halls toward the wing of the palace where she and the Kyoshi Warriors had their suites. Not being servants in the truest sense, and not being part of the Royal Guard, their quarters were located just off of the palace's main guest suites, on the second floor. As she walked through the hallway, she passed a clump of giggling young women, who stopped and stared at her as she passed.

"That's her. The dirt kingdom whore he's been sleeping with," one of the girls, who was wearing an orange blossom in her hair, said with a simpering pout.

"Ewww… She's not even pretty," the tallest one said, curling her lips back over her perfect teeth.

"Why does she wear all that makeup? Is she hiding something or what?" another said.

"Probably something gross, like a scar."

"She probably has acne. That pound of makeup she has to wear probably clogs the pores. Doesn't it, Ugly?"

A chorus of laughter rang through the hallway. Her shoulders stiffened as she stopped dead in her tracks and turned around to face them. "Excuse me?"

"You heard us, slut."

"You must be so depressed that Zuko's kicking you out of his bed for a newer, younger woman. After all, it's not like he can marry a dirt kingdom peasant!"

"Aww…look how sad it looks," the tallest pouted, making tear tracks on her face.

"Why don't you go home to the dirt farm you call home, Dirt Girl?"

Suki's temper flared out of control and before she knew it, she'd pulled the knife out of her belt. She tossed it across the room and it landed with a small _thwack!_ in the wall, inches from their heads. It vibrated in place, the orange blossom from the girl's hair pinned to the wall. Suki swallowed, realizing what she'd done.

The girls looked shocked, especially the girl who had been wearing the flower now pinned to the wall.

"You animal!"

Suki pulled her fan and stepped forward menacingly. "Don't fuck with me."

"Oh no! The Dirt Girl is rapid! RUN!" one of them said, showing obvious fear at Suki's threat. Her fear infected the others and they took off down the corridor away from her, holding their long silken skirts in their hands to keep from tripping.

"MY FATHER WILL HEAR ABOUT THIS!" the tallest girl shouted over her shoulder.

"GO AHEAD AND TELL HIM! I'M SURE HE ALREADY KNOWS YOU'RE A BITCH!" Suki snarled after her as they rounded a corner and disappeared. She growled out a curse word and then walked over to the wall and wrenched her knife out of the plaster. The flower fell to the floor and she stamped on it for good measure, feeling wronged, her nerves frayed.

She'd thought she'd come to terms with the rumors swirling around her and Zuko, and the way all of the noblewomen were treating her, but clearly she had some issues to resolve. Regret swelled in her. She'd probably just attacked some highborn lord's daughter, after all. She was probably going to end up paying for her outburst.

"Fuck it. Fuck everything," she mumbled to herself. Getting even a little bit of revenge against them had felt far too good. Everything in her life seemed to be spinning out of control after all. At least she could still stick up for herself.

Zuko's words rang in her ears. Should she have denied it, like he'd asked her to? She knew the answer to that. And so had Zuko.

Still feeling raw and pissed off, she knocked on Chao-Ahn and Xiuying's doors and sent them to guard Zuko for the night. No matter what Sokka said, she knew that she could trust them. With the exception of Ty Lee, she'd known them all since childhood and they were loyal to Zuko.

That done, she let herself into her bedroom, and in a fit of pique, slammed the door behind her satisfyingly hard. She threw the lock home and sank back against it, breathing in, trying to calm herself. So much had happened tonight. She didn't know how to process it.

"You left without saying goodbye," Sokka said shortly, suddenly framed in her bathroom doorway. She jumped and automatically pulled the knife from her belt. Sokka eyed it with amusement. "Relax, it's me. Remember?"

"Sorry. I'm just not used to your new look," she said, eying the red flames tattooed on his muscular arms. He looked at them, bemused, his finger tracing the outline of a flame licking up his left arm.

"Don't worry, they're just henna."

"Right. So…how do you keep getting in here?" she said, ignoring him, disgruntled at the sudden invasion and his casualness. The encounter with the noblewomen hadn't helped matters. She had a feeling their reunion wasn't going to be a happy one. So much had happened in the months since they'd seen each other last. And so much had gone unspoken already.

"Your bathroom window's unlatched," he said, jerking his thumb behind him, "and there's a tree down in the courtyard outside, which butts up against the stables where the tunnel ends up. Climbed up and in."

She made a note of that for future reference, as she walked across the room and tossed her knife and belt onto the bed.

"You shouldn't have risked coming here. What if someone had seen you?"

"It's dark, no one saw me. Besides, we need to talk. We didn't have much time before…what with everything…"

Suki glanced down at her hands and then licked her lips. "Yeah."

"I…uh…I missed you."

"Did you?" she shot at him before she could stop herself. She saw the hurt flash across Sokka's face, followed by the tightening of his jaw.

"So I wasn't imagining it. You _are_ angry with me," Sokka said, walking into the room and perching on the edge of her desk. He glanced down at the crumpled up replies to his letter that she had started and then scribbled out. He toed one on the floor.

"What makes you think that?" she said lightly, though anyone could have read the tightness in her voice, the bitterness.

"Because I know you, Sook. I know when you're pissed off at me. You're really bad at hiding it, you know."

"I know," she clipped and then ran a hand through her hair. Sokka shifted in place and then sighed.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" Suki shot at him, eyebrow arching as she looked up at him. "Abandoning me for nearly a year? Making me feel completely worthless? Like I was so unimportant to you that even writing a simple letter was beneath you? For driving me absolutely insane wondering what I might have done to make you treat me like I didn't matter to you at all? Is that why you're sorry?"

The anger she'd been holding in, anger she'd thought she had gotten over months ago when she'd decided to stop writing him altogether, came bubbling back to the surface with a vengeance. It was like a floodgate and she had no way of stopping it. Sokka stared at her, brows drawn down low, mouth pressed into a thin line.

"I never meant to hurt you. I swear."

"But you did."

"I'm so sorry. I wish I'd done everything differently. I'd planned on writing to you once we got to a safe place, but the opportunity never came. We were always being watched and Tazeo had absolutely no reason to be sending letters to the Fire Lord's bodyguard. I could have jeopardized everything we were working for. It might have gotten all of us killed. I wish you could understand what it's been like…" Sokka said imploringly.

"You think I don't get it? Actually I _do _understand _why_ you didn't write. I get it, Sokka. I really do. That's why I feel guilty about being so angry with you. Because I know that I shouldn't be. I have every reason to forgive you for making me think you'd stopped caring. But I just can't. You hurt me, Sokka…and I can't seem to get past it. I'm grateful for everything you're doing for Zuko, but the more I think about all those months, the angrier I get."

"And it all comes back to him, doesn't it?" Sokka said in a measured voice, making chills ripple down her spine. She remembered the knowing look in Azula's eyes, the pointed remarks. And Zuko's words, the plea in his gaze, the sadness in his voice as he'd asked her to deny it, to lay the blame on him.

She bit down on the inside of her lip and then said, "What?"

"Zuko. He's all that matters to you, isn't he?"

"What are you trying to say?"

"You _know _what I'm saying. I've heard things. In the palace, in the city. Rumors about you and Zuko."

They stared at each other, the words unspoken between them. Her heart thundered in her chest and her palms felt sweaty all of a sudden.

"And you believed them?" she challenged him, tears hovering in her eyes. She refused to give in. Anger steeled her nerves. The words of the noblewomen echoed in her head.

Sokka smirked at her a little and then the expression faded and his whole face shut down. He stared at his hands and said in a quiet voice that shook a little, "I don't know. But I think it says a lot that hearing you've been sleeping with him didn't surprise me at all."

It was like a slap in the face, hard, painful and harsh. "Why would think that? Do you really think I would cheat on you like that? Do you think so little of me?"

"NO!" he burst out, standing and approaching her, but she backed up a step, holding out her hand to stop him. "I don't know what I think. But I know how you are with him. Every time you and I are together, you bring him up. Zuko this, Zuko that. 'Oh, Zuko needs me, Sokka!' It's like you don't even see how you are! You run to him all of the time. He's the most important person in your life, don't deny it. And don't give me that 'I'm his bodyguard, it's my job' crap. It's more than that."

She had no defense. She opened her mouth, but snapped it closed. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Yes, you do," he said, shaking his head. He laughed a little, but it was a bitter sound. "I mean, I kinda always thought you had a crush on him or something, but I wasn't too worried about it. I knew you loved me and that he was in love with Mai. But…"

"But what?"

"When they broke up I just had this feeling. I just knew eventually he was going to look at you the way you looked at him and that would be it. I'd lose you. I wasn't wrong. The last time you were in Republic City I could tell something was different between the two of you. The way you looked at him… It was like I wasn't there at all."

"I don't even know what to say to that," she said, wiping at her face with her sleeve.

"Tell me I'm wrong, Suki. Tell me I was imagining it. Tell me those fucking rumors are completely untrue," he said as he reached out, grasping her shoulders. She winced in pain as her wound twinged.

Suki licked her lips, her chin trembling as the tears made tracks in her white makeup.

What could she say? They both knew he was right, at least about there being something between her and Zuko. That he had noticed shocked her, when she hadn't consciously been aware of it herself until a few months ago. Shame welled in her. Guilt. The anger she felt at him faded a bit. What must he have been thinking all of these months? What kind of rumors had he heard? No wonder he believed them. No wonder he hadn't written her.

She opened her mouth, thinking of denying it, all of it. Hiding from her shame completely. She thought of Zuko, of the look in his eyes as he'd asked her to deny it. She couldn't help but remember the way her body had felt for days after kissing Zuko. Hot, unfocused, aroused, yearning. She had wanted more. She still did.

There was no denying it. That wasn't fair to Zuko, or herself. Or Sokka.

"We kissed. Once. That was it. We aren't sleeping together, I swear. I would never do that to you!" she said, wiping at her eyes, smearing her makeup. "I'm so sorry…please believe me…"

"I do," he said, taking her hands. "You have feelings for him."

"I don't know…" Her voice was small, tears in her eyes as she stared at him, trying to find the man she loved in the face of the stranger before her. Everything was confusing, and she felt fear thrill through her. She hadn't expected this confrontation so soon after leaving Zuko's suite. She had no defense ready, no idea what she was doing, what she was feeling, other than anger and fear and guilt. "Yes. Yes, I have feelings for him. I didn't mean for it to happen. It just did…"

Sokka pulled away from her, nodding, tears in his eyes as well. He swallowed hard, and turned to her desk. He kicked it so hard it scraped across the wooden floor with a loud noise and came to a stop a few feet from its original position. She jumped and clamped her hand over her mouth, watching as Sokka paced the floor of her room like a caged tigerdillo.

"Sokka…"

He looked at her sharply. "Do you still love me?"

The floor dropped out from under her. Hadn't she been asking herself that very same question for months now? She knew the answer, and as confusing as it was, she knew it was the truth. "I… Yes."

Sokka licked his lips and crossed to the window. He put his hands down on the sill and hunched his shoulders. He took a few deep breaths. "I kissed Azula."

The words seemed to reverberate through the air, pinging between them like a haunting echo. She wiped at her eyes and finally found her voice.

"Are you trying to hurt me?" she whispered, though the shock she should have been feeling didn't even register.

"No," he said, pushing away from the sill and facing her. "You were honest with me and I thought I ought to be honest with you. I didn't want to feel like a hypocrite."

She sniffed back tears and wiped at her nose with her sleeve. She sank down on the edge of the bed, trying to work through his admission, but she just felt oddly numb. "Well, I appreciate that, I guess. Do you… I mean, do you have feelings for her or… What am I saying? How could you have feelings for _Azula?! _She's crazy!"

"Don't. Don't talk about her like that. You don't know her like I do. Yeah…she's…a _pain_, and she's got her issues, but she's someone I _know_ I can trust. She's earned it."

"And you can't trust me?"

"I'm not sure how to answer that, to be honest," he said, looking miserable. "Maybe I don't trust _us_ anymore."

"What does that mean?"

"You and me…" he started, pain registering in his expression. "I feel like things have gotten so messed up between us, Suki."

"I know," she said to the floor, tears coursing down her cheeks in hot rivers.

She had been imagining her reunion with Sokka for months. There had been a time when she'd wanted nothing more than a joyful reunion full of kisses and smiles, but over the months of his silence, the scenarios in her head had started to become fights, and in them she was the one victorious, triumphant in her righteousness and abandonment, the injured party.

She hadn't been prepared for this, though. For tears and guilt and the loss of everything she had ever known. The man before her was a stranger, and it wasn't just his disguise. Sokka had changed, hardened, become someone she knew nothing about. She was sure he was thinking the same thing. How betrayed he must feel, how hurt to know that she had feelings for Zuko, one of his best friends…

She felt sick. Guilty. Saddened and overwhelmed.

"I don't think we can fix this," she said softly.

"Yeah," he said heavily, sitting down next to her. "Maybe you're right."

"I wish I weren't," she said honestly. "I wish we could go back. It was simpler then."

"Was it?" he asked, eyebrows lifting. "With you here, and me there…it never felt simple to me. I always missed you. And those few days you'd come to visit, or I'd come here, every couple of months were…the best. But they never lasted. You always left. Or I left. Didn't matter. It always felt like we were reaching out to each other, but we just couldn't connect, you know? Maybe this was always going to happen? Maybe being in a relationship with someone who isn't there wasn't fair to either of us."

Something stirred in her memory; Zuko standing on the balcony at sunset, looking sadly into the distance. She whispered softly, "It just wasn't enough, was it? For either of us."

"I wanted it to be."

"Me too."

Tears swam in Sokka's eyes. "I didn't… Dammit, I didn't want to break up with you. I thought for sure the minute we were alone together things would make sense, that it would be just like old times, but it's just worse. This would be easier if I didn't still love you."

"I still love you too. But it's not enough."

"No. No…it's not enough… And you're in love with him too, aren't you?" his voice was bitter, but controlled.

"I don't know."

Sokka glanced at her and huffed air out of his nose, his mouth pulling into a bitter, tight-lipped smile. "Yeah, you are."

"And what about you and Azula? I saw the way you looked at her. I'm not gonna pretend I understand what's going on there."

"That's complicated," he said evasively. "And I'd rather not untangle that particular knot right now. I'm already dealing with my imminent break-up with the most amazing woman I've ever known."

"I'm sorry," she said, a painful little laugh bubbling up out of her. Sokka put his arm around her and drew her into his shoulder. "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I hurt you."

"I'm sorry I hurt _you._"

"Please don't try and kill Zuko for real tomorrow night," she said into his neck. He laughed deeply and kissed her forehead.

"The opportunity_ is_ feeling a little too good to resist at the moment…" he said with a rumble, and she pulled away from him, glaring at him. He grinned and reached out, tucking her hair behind her ear. "I think I'll just go have a talk with him instead."

"What are you going to do?"

"Probably hit him."

"Don't!"

"He kissed my girlfriend! He has it coming!" he said, standing up and walking toward the bathroom door and the unlatched window. She followed him, catching his arm and spinning him around.

"Sokka!" she said with a watery laugh. His arms went around her and he pulled her against him. Her eyes closed and she breathed in his familiar scent. It took her a moment to realize she could smell perfume on him. Azula's perfume.

She clung to him tighter and his mouth brushed her cheek. They breathed together, holding each other, swaying in place. After a long moment, he whispered, "I don't want to let go."

More tears made her voice shaky as pushed her face against his chest. "Then don't."

"Don't tempt me, Sook."

"I'm not tempt—" she started, but he cut her off with a kiss.

It was everything she remembered. Solid, sweet, playful. All Sokka. Memory lashed at her, of other nights, other kisses, ones without end. Of his body against hers, his hands, his laughter vibrating against her stomach, his warmth wrapped around her, keeping her safe, holding her tight.

His mouth tucked against hers and she found herself kissing him back for everything she was worth. Her hand wove into his long hair as his arms crushed her to his chest. He kissed her until she couldn't breathe and her head was buzzing. When he pulled back, she felt him take an unsteady breath, his forehead against hers.

"That just made this about a thousand times harder," he mumbled.

"Tell me about it," she said and then pulled out of his arms. He let her go, his hands slowly slipping off of her waist. He looked gutted.

"I should leave."

"Yeah. That's probably a good idea," she said in that hatefully small voice. Her fingers touched her lips.

"I'll see you tomorrow night at nine-fifteen sharp. Be ready."

"Be careful," she said, following him into the bathroom. He glanced out at the courtyard, seemed satisfied at its emptiness, and then heaved himself out onto the nearest branch.

"You too," he said, stopping. He leaned back into the window and kissed her solidly on the lips. He pulled back and grinned at her, reminding her so much of the boy she'd fallen in love with all of those years ago. Her heart ached painfully. "Bye, Suki."

She didn't say anything, just watched as he deftly climbed down the tree in the dark and headed off in the direction of the stables. When he disappeared into the shadows, she closed and locked her window, and then sat down on the edge of the tub.

Her hands were shaking. She couldn't process what had just happened, what she was feeling. She had been so confused before their talk, and now… Now everything felt that much worse. She touched her lips, remembering how it had felt, kissing him.

She knew, without a doubt, that if he'd pressed, she wouldn't have stopped there. She would have slept with him, despite her lingering anger, the hurt, the guilt, all of it. Because he was Sokka, and her body still craved his and her heart—treacherous thing that it was—ached for him.

"Did we just make a mistake?" she asked the empty room.

The silence merely mocked her.


	9. Part IX

**PART IX:**

* * *

**Notes: **There's a bit of Sokkla in this chapter. Next chapter: we finally get to the ball.

* * *

Zuko's stomach was in knots and his hands kept clenching into sweaty fists, pulling the stitches Nam-Kyu had carefully sewn into his hand. The wound was healing, but it ached, reminding him of the image of Suki with an assassin's knife at her throat every time he flexed his fingers.

_Don't think about her_, he chided himself as he paced across the carpet. _Don't think about the fact that Sokka probably went to her room the minute he left. Don't. You have no right._

His thoughts ran in jumbled little circles until he couldn't stand it any longer. He forced his mind to go over the events of the day instead. His sister's sudden reappearance in his life had been even more shocking than Sokka's. He didn't know what to think of her. She had seemed stable at first, but that had quickly proven to be a front, one that had been ripped down easily with only a few words.

_It was the orphanage that triggered her,_ he thought as he stopped pacing and put his hands down flat on his desk. He'd found the written reports he'd been given about Rinchaka Falls last month. The details were gruesome. All but two of the children had died. The area had been experiencing a five-year drought, and practically the whole village and surrounding fields had gone up in flames. Reports of two suspects getting away into the forest were sketchy at best. A third, unconfirmed and unidentified suspect had been found near the epicenter of the blaze with a slit throat. Witnesses had stated they'd seen the murder take place, but no one had been identified.

He didn't know what to make of _that_ particular detail, just as he had no idea what to make of his sister's reaction to the whole thing. The idea of Azula being concerned for the safety of children was incongruous and didn't match his memories of her at all. She was such a stranger to him now, that he couldn't even guess her motivations.

He was still trying to come to terms with the idea that Azula was attempting to protect his life, not to mention the fact that she had convinced _Sokka _to help her. That Sokka seemed to trust her implicitly made his head spin. There were too many reasons why Azula would benefit from his assassination, and her reasons for protecting him were thin.

There was something she wasn't telling him, but he had no idea what that was. He knew that he'd have to trust her for now. Or, if not her, then Sokka.

The two of them had seemed…close. A nasty part of his mind wondered exactly _how_ close they'd gotten, but he shoved it away out of hand. The whole idea was ridiculous.

Worry knotted his gut even more as he thought of the state of his army, if Sokka and Azula's intel about the Smoke Demons was to be believed. He hoped that General Mak was on his side, and that the infiltrators would be ousted. His hands felt tied though, stuck in a game he didn't want to play, waiting for the hidden piece on the board to show itself. If they were right and his enemy was someone already in the palace, then that person could be anyone. Even someone close to him.

"Damn," he said, pushing away from his desk and pacing again. There was nothing he could do about the Smoke Demons at the moment but worry and go back over the plan the four of them had devised. His mind turned back to Suki instead.

This time his thoughts refused to leave her. The panicked look in her eyes, the sadness and the regret as she'd taken his letter and all but ran out of his suite were haunting him. With Sokka's return had come a hard punch of reality. Suki was in love with Sokka, not him, and he had to face it, deal with it, and move on.

_This changes nothing. The kiss changed nothing. She was always his, and I overstepped. It's my fault. I'm the one who fell in love with her and I'm the one who has to get over it._

He had no doubt that Suki and Sokka would patch things up now that they were together again. Hadn't he told her to deny it? Hadn't he tried to make it right, despite the pain he'd felt at the thought of giving her up?

_She isn't even yours to give up._

He flexed his aching hand and fought the urge to punch the wall. He'd done that too many times the past few days though, and his skinned knuckles were proof of that. Exhaustion crawled across his overheated skin. What he needed was a good night's rest. He'd deal with everything in the morning; the Smoke Demons, his sister, the ball he had never wanted, and his broken heart.

He was just walking into his bedroom when the wall beneath his tapestry slid open with a scrape of stone on stone. He found himself staring at Sokka, who looked pale beneath his fake tattoos. There was an indecipherable look on his face as he stepped into the room. Zuko's gaze narrowed on the red smudge of paint on his lips.

He had no doubt where that paint had come from. Pain burst in him like fireworks, followed swiftly by crippling jealousy. He felt fire in his hands. It wanted to break free, to rise out of him like a flaming tempest and scorch everything, even his friend. _Especially _his friend.

The anger he'd been harboring towards Sokka suddenly seemed like a ravening beast, incapable of being tamed.

"You know, I'm really going to have to put a lock on that door," he said roughly as Sokka hitched a little smile on his smudged lips.

"I knocked, but I don't think you heard me," Sokka said slowly, and then closed the hidden door. The seam blended in perfectly with the marble, the tapestry hiding any flaws in the design. No wonder he hadn't known it was there. It was time to switch bedrooms; he didn't feel at all safe knowing that it was there. "I just left Suki's room. We had a long talk about some things."

"Oh?" He had a feeling they'd done more than talk. The proof of that was all over Sokka's mouth. The fire within him grew hotter.

"I think you and I need to talk, Zuko."

Zuko stared at him and then bit nastily. "About what?"

Sokka's fist smashed into Zuko's face so fast and hard that he hadn't seen it coming—though he should have. Zuko's head snapped back and he stumbled, vision blurred, the taste of blood in his mouth.

"You _know_ what," Sokka said bluntly as Zuko's hand went to his aching jaw. He was going to bruise spectacularly. It was nothing less than he deserved.

"You abandoned her," Zuko said in a voice that was too calm for the rage beneath his surface. He wanted to hit Sokka back, but he knew he wasn't in the right on this one, no matter the reasons for his anger.

"I was saving your life."

"You broke her heart."

"And you were there to pick up the pieces, huh? You ought to be thanking me," Sokka said bitterly. They glared at one another in open challenge. Zuko broke first, guilt and anger swooping through him in a crippling wave.

"The rumors are not true, whatever you might have heard," he said after a moment, refusing to flinch away from Sokka's unwavering gaze, even as he wiped blood from the corner of his mouth onto his sleeve.

"She told me you guys kissed," Sokka said bluntly, going straight for the heart of the matter. Zuko almost admired his forthrightness. Sokka has never been one for pretense. Zuko dropped his hand and swallowed a mouthful of bitter-tasting blood.

"Yes," he said, after a long moment. There was no use denying it, after all. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done it. I hurt her, and you, and I disregarded both of your feelings. I don't have any excuse for what I did. Don't be angry with her. She had nothing to do with it. _I _kissed _her._"

"That's not how Suki tells it. Seems to me the two of you got pretty close while I was off trying to save your life," Sokka said, though the anger in his voice had lessened.

"Sokka…"

"I'm not really surprised. I just never thought you'd have the guts to make a move on her."

Anger flared in him again. "I didn't make a move on her. It just happened. She and I…"

"Are you in love with her?"

It wasn't a question, not really. Zuko took a none-too-steadying breath and looked down at his bandaged hand. His whole face ached from Sokka's punch.

"What I feel doesn't matter," he mumbled. "Suki is your girlfriend, a fact that I forgot in a moment of duress. It will not happen again and I apologize for overstepping my boundaries."

But Sokka didn't seem to be listening to him. "We broke up."

"What?" Zuko blinked slowly, the words seeping in, filtering through the guilt and confusion. His head came up and saw the look on Sokka's face. He looked as confused as Zuko felt.

"You heard me. We broke up." Sokka sank down into a chair against the wall and put his head in his hands. He looked bone-deep weary, and the muscles in his back seemed stiff and unyielding.

Zuko didn't know what to say to that. It felt like he'd been hit with a bolt of lightning. Or like he'd been punched again. "I'm sorry. It's my fault…"

"You know, Zuko, I realize you're the Fire Lord and that you take your responsibilities pretty seriously, but not everything that happens on this fucking planet is your fault. You can be pretty self-centered sometimes, you know that?"

"Uh…" He had nothing useful to say to that, so he merely sank down onto the edge of his bed and stared at Sokka, waiting for….well, he wasn't sure _what _he was waiting for him to say.

Sokka scrubbed his hands over his face and glanced up at him. "I fucked up. She was angry with me. Still is, probably. And with good reason. Like you said, I left her for nearly a year. At first I thought about her a lot, you know? Every day. And I felt so bad that I hadn't told her what I was doing, but there was never an opportunity to write to her. Then after a few months, it all kind of faded, you know? There was just the job, staying alive, playing the part. And Azula…_Azula_…" He trailed off, unable to finish the thought, whatever it was. The look on his face was tortured, pensive. He took a deep breath. "Suki didn't fit into that world, into the person I had to become. I _forgot_ about how much I was probably hurting her. And sometimes all I could think about was the way it had been before I'd left. How weird things were starting to get between us. How distant we both were. How much I felt like I was losing her…"

"Sokka…"

Sokka's head came up and he looked at Zuko rawly. There was grief in his eyes, but also acceptance. "And it's not like I don't still have feelings for her. I _do._ Kissing her again, that was…_incredible._ We've still got sparks and we both know it. Maybe we could fix it. _Maybe._ But… I'm _not_ the man she fell in love with anymore, Zuko. I couldn't tell her that. I wanted to, but I _couldn't._ She wouldn't understand it. Maybe I don't understand it. Maybe I…"

He trailed off again and rubbed at his forehead, hunching over in the chair.

Zuko didn't think the other man realized what he was saying. He seemed exhausted, as if he'd gone months without sleep. Sokka wiped at his mouth with the back of his hand and smiled sadly at the red paint on his skin.

"She didn't fight it, breaking up. She knows as well as I do that things are broken between us. I fucked up. She fucked up. And she has feelings for you, something I've known for a _very _long time. It was just a crush once, but when I abandoned her, it became something more. Didn't it? She turned to you. Of course she did. I can't blame her. I knew it the moment I saw the two of you together. You were there for her when I wasn't." He seemed to be rambling, more to himself than to Zuko.

"Why are you telling me this?" Zuko asked quietly after a long pause. Sokka dropped his hand and wiped it on his dark pants.

"Because you're my friend."

"Still?" he said delicately, arching a brow.

Sokka laughed a little. "Oh, don't think I'm not pissed off at you."

"I think that punch said it all."

"Yeah well, you kissed my girlfriend, Zuko. You had that coming."

"I know I did," he said, touching his tender, bruising jaw. He had no idea how he was going to explain _that_ to people. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry you broke up. I'm sorry for everything."

"You know what the fucked up part is? I'm not even that angry with you. Maybe I should be. Mostly I'm just pissed at myself," Sokka said and then glanced at the window. It was well past midnight and a crescent moon was smiling in the sky. Sokka looked sad, and far older than his twenty-two years as he peered out the window. "I kissed your sister."

It took his words a full minute to sink in. And finally Zuko blinked at him, taken aback. "You did what with who now?"

Sokka pushed his scarred hands into his loose hair and squeezed his eyes shut tightly. "When did things get so fucked up?"

"Are you…? You and…" Zuko thought about the way Sokka and Azula had been with each other, and the nasty suspicions came tumbling back in on him. He'd never seen his sister like that with anyone, not even Ty Lee. "Wait. Wait, wait, wait… Are you sleeping with my _SISTER?! _Did you cheat on Suki?"

Sokka met his gaze and then quickly looked away.

"No. But we came very, very close. More than once," he said heavily. "I told Suki about it. I didn't want to, but I couldn't lie to her. I think she was in shock. She didn't say much. I just feel… I don't know how I feel. "

Zuko felt his hands heating up again. The urge to punch Sokka came over him again, but it was for an entirely different reason now. The protective feeling swelled, confusing him even more. He'd never before felt the need to protect his sister, who had proven time and again that she didn't need it. He didn't like the feeling and he didn't know where it was coming from.

"Do you regret breaking up with Suki?" he asked evenly.

"Yes. And no." Sokka sounded miserable.

"So what's going on between you and my sister?" he asked carefully, trying to keep his anger at bay.

"I wish I knew," Sokka said honestly. "She's a complicated woman. And sometimes I don't think _she_ knows what she wants. We saved each other's lives out there, Zuko. We did things that I can't even repeat. And somewhere in there, she got under my skin. I let her in and I can't get her out. She scares the living shit out of me."

"What happened in Rinchaka Falls? And why did she freak out like that?"

Sokka's eyes took on a panicked expression as he cut them toward Zuko and back to the floor. "It's a long story."

"I have time."

Sokka glanced at him and then down at the floor. Then he launched into the story, without preamble or pretense. Zuko listened as he explained how he and Azula had been charged with robbing a Fire Nation Army warehouse. They were supposed to meet another of the Demons, a man called the Fire Bug, but the warehouse had exploded before they'd even gotten there, and the whole town had gone up within a matter of minutes, including the orphanage, which was not far from the warehouse. He listened, feeling sick to his stomach, as Sokka, trembling with memories best left forgotten, explained how he had tried to save the children. And how he'd only managed to get two of them free of the structure before it had been completely engulfed.

"And what did Azula do?"

"She went catatonic for a moment. She does that sometimes…just _leaves._ After I pulled the second child from the building, she lost it. She was crying, screaming, trying to run inside. I stopped her. I knew it was hopeless. She was trying to Firebend, to stop it, but it was too late. There was no one left alive to save. That didn't matter to her, Zuko. She tried. She fought me and tried to go inside. I managed to pin her down on the ground just as the whole structure collapsed. I think I got through to her. She stopped fighting, but she was…gone again."

"You saved her life."

"It broke her. She was _crying_, Zuko. _Azula!_ She tried to help them and she couldn't. I tried to get through to her, but all she could say was that it wasn't her fault. I knew she was right. It was the Fire Bug. He hadn't waited for us. The plan hadn't been to blow up the warehouse, just rob it blind. I should have known what he would have done. His reputation preceded him, after all. The whole fucking town was burning to the ground. And it was his fault."

"What did you do?"

Sokka's face turned into the light and there was a hard expression there, ruthless, remorseless. "What do you think I did?"

"He survived the explosion?"

"Yes, but not long after," Sokka said and then pulled an expression that was more grimace than smile. Zuko remembered the reports about the third suspect's slit throat. A shiver went through him. "Some of the villagers who were trying to fight the fires saw me slit his throat. I didn't care. I barely managed to get Azula out of there. We gave the soldiers the slip in the forest a few miles from the village."

Zuko sighed and rubbed at the bridge of his nose. "She was crying?"

"She was _broken_, Zuko. I think she's been broken for a very long time. I think what happened that night horrified her. I think it scared her. She has panic attacks sometimes, and I've learned how to pull her out of them, but sometimes it doesn't help. It didn't help that night. She was a wreck for days."

Zuko thought for a moment. "She's never liked children."

The look Sokka gave him with disgusted. "That doesn't mean listening to them screaming as they burned to death wouldn't affect her. _I_ nearly lost my mind that night over it! You didn't see her. And you don't know her like I do. You don't understand."

There was passion and protectiveness in his voice. Zuko stared at Sokka. "Why is she doing this? Why is she trying to save my life?"

Sokka licked his lips. "I asked her that too. She told me the same thing she told you, that she was bored, but it's a lie. I think she's doing all of these because she has nothing else. She was so alone for so many years…she needs this to keep hold on reality, I think. You're her brother. Her family. You're all she has…and you_ abandoned_ her when she needed you."

Rage and shame swelled in him, and he saw it reflected in Sokka's dull, sad eyes. They had both failed, in so many ways.

"You saw how she was, Sokka! What else could I do? She didn't want help!"

"She may not have wanted it, but she needed it. She needed her brother," Sokka said, rising to his feet, anger written over every line of his powerful body. "She needed someone—ANYONE—to give two fucks about her! When Mai came to her, it gave her purpose, something to cling to. She had nothing before that. She was scared and angry and alone, and no matter what she's done in the past, no one deserves that. Not when they're sick like she is!"

Guilt prickled his spine. "It's not that I don't care about her. I just… I don't know how to help her. I put her in that asylum to help her and it didn't work. I don't know how to make it better! I let her go because I thought she wanted me to. I thought it would be easier."

"Easier, sure. But it wasn't right, and you know it, Zuko. Azula's a sick girl. She's fragile, in ways you wouldn't imagine. She's a pain in the ass. She's mean, spiteful and antagonistic, but she's also a human being. Being with her all of these months taught me that. She wants to get better. She's trying."

"What do I do?"

"Just be her brother. That's all she needs. I think she just needs to know that someone gives a shit if she lives or dies."

Zuko sank down, his head in his hands. It had been a long day, full of nasty surprises and bitterness. Guilt bore down on him and shook him in its jaws. "She's my sister. I still care about her, I do."

"Make sure she knows that, then," Sokka said heavily and then got to his feet.

"I will. I'm sorry."

The air seemed to go out of Sokka, and he slumped his broad shoulders a little. "I know you are. I'm sorry I punched you."

"No, you're not. And I deserved it. For a lot of things."

"Yeah, look I should get back to Azula. She's probably wondering where I am."

"You mean she's probably wondering if you're with Suki or not."

Sokka rubbed the back of his neck. "About Suki… I don't know what's going on between the two of you. I kind of don't want to, to be honest. All I know is that she deserves to be happy. She deserves to have someone who is going to be there for her. I wasn't."

"But you still have feelings for her."

"Yeah. I can't say I don't. But…it's better this way, for all the reasons I gave. She knows it too. I think we both realized it at some point these past few months. She's better off without me."

"Don't be so hard on yourself."

But Sokka just looked weary, so unlike himself that Zuko felt a runnel of fear go through him for his friend. How far had Sokka fallen, to look the way he did? "Don't make the same mistakes I did."

"Are you giving me your blessing?" Zuko asked, with a touch of humor. He wanted to make Sokka smile, to do anything to bring back the friend he'd known.

"No," Sokka said bluntly, looking him square in the eyes. "I'm giving you a warning. If you break her heart, I swear to the Moon Spirit that I will break your legs and shit down your throat. That is not a vague disclaimer. That is a promise. And don't think that I'm happy about this. I'm _not, _but she has feelings for you, and I can't be a hypocrite, not with everything I've done the past year, not with…whatever it is that I'm doing with Azula. I just need to know one thing: _do you love her?_"

"Yes," he said, without hesitation. "Are you in love with my sister?"

"I'm…in _something_ with your sister," Sokka admitted as he started toward the tapestry. He opened the wall with a touch of his finger high up on the nearly invisible seam. The door swung open as easily as if it were made of paper, not stone. The yawning mouth of the dark stairwell awaited him. "Go to sleep, Zuko. I want you well rested when I try and kill you tomorrow night. And put something on your face. You're starting to bruise."

"Thanks for your concern," he said dryly, watching Sokka step onto the stairs. "Sokka?"

"Yeah?" he asked over his shoulder.

"Take advantage of my sister and I'll break your fucking face."

A lopsided grin took hold of Sokka's mouth and the man Zuko had known for so long finally made his reappearance. He nodded solemnly though. "Noted."

The door closed, leaving Zuko alone in his bedroom to process. He didn't know how he was feeling. Confused, of course. He was always confused these days. Worry for his sister rolled through him, Sokka's none-too-gentle condemnation weighing on him. He knew that Sokka was right. He had all-but abandoned his sister. It had been easier to let her go, when he should have fought for her.

"Damn."

He put ice on his face and sat on the edge of his bed as it melted into his palm. Afterwards, he crawled into bed, too exhausted and emotionally wrung out by the day to stay awake much longer. He wanted sleep and the clarity of his dreams. His thoughts wandered back to Suki.

She and Sokka had broken up. He mourned for their loss, on some level. He had seen how tortured Sokka had been, and no matter what, Zuko still felt guilty for what he'd done. Perhaps he hadn't caused the break up directly, but he had contributed to it.

He couldn't pretend that he didn't want her. A large part of him wanted to go to her right now. To hold her, to talk her through her breakup, just as she had done for him when Mai had left. She hadn't left his side, all those long, desperate months. Having her there had meant more to him than he could properly express, and somewhere along the way, his feelings for her had changed and gone deeper and deeper until he had been unable to hide the fact that he was in love with her, try as he might.

He wanted her, despite the rumors, the opposition of his council, his country, his best friend… He _wanted_ her. Needed her and he hoped that she felt the same way.

Everyone else around him had always needed him to be the Fire Lord, even when his heart was broken. Suki had only ever needed him to be himself.

Zuko sighed into the pillow and drifted into an uneasy sleep.

* * *

"Well, you're certainly slinking in at a late hour," an acerbic voice said as he opened the door. Sokka pulled up short in the doorway as he surveyed the woman before him with red, aching eyes.

Azula was standing in the middle of one of Zuko's richly appointed guest suites, her arms crossed over her chest. She was wearing her favorite green robe, belted at the waist, her feet bare, her hair pulled back into a loose knot at the base of her neck. The scars on her legs shone in the dim candlelight, catching his gaze, and not for the first time. He hated seeing them, hated that he hadn't been there to stop her.

When he looked up into her face, he could see the tight lines of strain around her eyes, the way her jaw was set firmly in defiance or anger. Or worry. He couldn't be sure. There was pain there though; he knew her too well not to catch it fleeting in her troubled amber eyes. She knew where he'd been, after all.

"Azula…" he said carefully as he closed the door and locked it behind him.

"You went to her."

"Yes. You knew that I was going to."

Her chin lifted, fingernails sinking in her arms. "Was it a wonderful reunion, full of passionate embraces and heartfelt, mushy sentiment? Did she cry and ruin her makeup?" Her voice was all acid and it seared him.

"_Azula…_"

"Well, that_ is_ what you've been wanting all these months, to slink back to her and explain yourself, isn't it? Beg forgiveness and live happily ever after? Of course, I suppose it never occurred to you that maybe she didn't miss you at all. That she might be playing bed games with Zuzu."

"AZULA."

"I mean, far be it from me to believe a nasty, vicious rumor like that, but if I'm not mistaken, I definitely saw sparks between my big brother and your pretty little girlfriend. What a way to pay you back for risking your life to save his!"

"AZULA, _ENOUGH!_" Sokka shouted, anger crowning in him. He felt raw, abused and wrung out. "Just stop."

Azula stared at him and then looked away, her expression reminding him of Zuko's. She was angry at him, but there was more hurt than anger fueling her at the moment. "I'll bet you didn't tell her about any of it, did you?"

He ran his hand down his face. "You're wrong about that. I told her all of it." Azula's head shot up. "I couldn't lie to her and I didn't want to hurt her any more than I had to. And she—"

"And she forgave you?" she interjected incredulously

"I wouldn't say that, no. But I think she understood."

"How nice for you," she sneered. "What a lucky girl Suki is. She gets you _and_ my brother."

"It's not like that."

"What _is_ it like, Sokka? You saw the way they were together. You mean to tell me there's nothing going on between her and Zuko? And yet you just crawled right back to her like none of it means anything? Where is your self-respect?"

"That's _not_ what happened," he said forcefully. He'd been practicing what he wanted to say to her all the way back from Zuko's suite, but she hadn't let him say the things he'd wanted to say. Everything was coming out wrong. "You knew I had to talk to her. I don't need this jealous bullshit right now."

"I'm not jealous! Jealous of _what?_"

"Azula…"

"Look me in the eye and tell me she's _not_ fucking Zuko."

"Not according to her _or _him. But there is something going on between them. They both admitted it. I don't know what it is. I don't even know if _they_ know what it is." Looking at the emotion on Azula's face, he knew Zuko and Suki's feelings all too well.

"And yet you still love her."

"It's not that simple. I can't just shut it off, Azula."

He stared at Azula; Azula, who had been driving him crazy for months, who had crawled beneath his skin in ways he couldn't even begin to unravel. For all of her strength and fire and keen intelligence, she was the most fragile woman he'd ever known. The urge to protect her, both from the world and from herself, had grown inside of him like a weed, threatening to choke him.

She was broken, damaged and lonely. How many nights had he put his arms around her just to stop her from screaming in her nightmares? How many times had he stopped her from harming herself, and yet here he was, adding to her pain. He'd known going to Suki would hurt her, but there had been no getting around it.

Azula's arms dropped to their sides and she dug her nails into her bare leg hard enough to break the skin. He jumped forward and grabbed her wrist, stopping her before she could put another set of scars alongside the others. She had peppered her thighs and forearms with thin marks over the years, and he had slowly been trying to wean her off of the compulsion since he'd discovered that she was doing it, which hadn't been long after they had gone undercover together.

"Hey, no… Don't do that…" he said softly. As he lifted her hand to his mouth to kiss her knuckle gently, her sleeve fell back and revealed a series of ugly red marks on the inside of her wrist. They were still bleeding slightly. Azula's expression was pained as it met his and then flitted away. "I thought we agreed you weren't going to do this anymore."

"What's it to you?" she said haughtily, trying to jerk her arm free, but he held her tightly.

"Because I care about you, Azula. I don't want to see you hurting."

"Who said I'm hurting?" she said, and a tear escaped her eyes. She swiped it away and successfully jerked her arm out of his grip. She turned her back on him.

"I broke up with her."

Azula's shoulders stiffened. "What?"

"You heard me." He stepped forward and put his hand on her waist, but she was unyielding, her hands clenching at her sides.

"Why did you do that?" Her voice was careful, hesitant.

"There were a lot of reasons. Mostly that I didn't want to be with her anymore. That I _can't_ be with her. It's complicated. For her. For me. Because of Zuko. Because of how I left her. And…because of how I feel about you." He pushed his face into her hair and sighed. "I've been trying like hell not to feel the things I feel about you. It's not working and I think you know that."

"You're in love with me," she shot matter-of-factly and accusingly over her shoulder at him. He bit back a smile. "That doesn't mean I feel anything for _you_."

"I think you do."

"I think you're a fool if you think that."

Sokka let her go as she whirled on him. They stared at one another for a long moment.

"I told Zuko about Rinchaka Falls."

The color drained out of her face, but she didn't react otherwise. Her earlier panic attack hadn't been forgotten by either of them though; he could still see it in the tightness of her shoulders. "I see."

"He's worried about you." But he wasn't talking about Zuko and he knew that she knew it.

"He doesn't need to be. I'm fine," she lied. They both knew she was lying, but he let it slide for now. It had been a long day for the both of them, an emotional roller coaster that had drained them both. Too many months spent on the run, moving from one nightmare situation to another had taken their toll.

"Azula…" he started, but she cut him off.

"I'm going to bed. We have a lot to do tomorrow."

She started to walk away, but he caught her wrist again.

"Promise me you won't do this again," he said, pushing her sleeve back again.

She hesitated and then breathed out and nodded. "It just…_helped_…"

"I know. Please, for me?"

"Whatever," she said, which was as close as she ever got to agreeing with him. Then she was gone, stalking through the suite and slamming the bedroom doors behind her, a message that he found it hard not to read. Sokka stared after her for a long moment and then sank onto the couch, too exhausted to stand any longer. He tried to sleep, but as the hours wore on, he knew that there was no way he was sleeping tonight. At least not alone.

He got up and walked into the bedroom on silent feet. Azula appeared to be asleep in the large bed, but when he climbed in beside her, she turned over and pressed her head to his chest, arm draping over his stomach, her hands clenching his clothes for one possessive moment. He had a feeling she'd been awake the whole night; that she'd been waiting for him.

He knew how she felt. They'd been sleeping beside each other for months. He couldn't sleep without her warmth any longer. He sighed into her hair as she relaxed against him and wordlessly fell asleep. He breathed in her scent, letting it push back the nightmares that wanted to chase him. Whatever was going on between them was complicated and inconvenient. He hadn't meant to fall for her. He hadn't meant to hurt Suki. He hadn't meant for _any_ of this to happen.

He'd only wanted to save Zuko's life. He thought of Suki, of the woman he had loved for so long. He missed her. Missed what they'd had, but that was over and done with.

Sokka stroked Azula's neck in the dark, warm bed, her steady breathing a balm on his nerves like nothing else had been for the past several months. It didn't take long for him to follow her into sleep.

His dreams were restless, nightmarish and confused.


	10. Part X

**PART X:**

* * *

"Well," Zuko said heavily, staring into the full-length mirror as he adjusted the sleeves of his ruby-red robes. He was thankful that his tailor had taken the insistent summer heat and the fact that he was going to be doing a lot of dancing into account; no heavy, stiff robes for him tonight, for which he was grateful. His half-robe was made of lightweight scarlet silk, hemmed in golden thread at the collar, with ebony buttons down the front. A sash so dark red that it was almost black was tied to his waist over a pair of silk pants the same color red as his robe, with gold-colored soft boots pulled to his knees. His long hair was pulled back and gathered into a topknot, his crown inserted into the top of it. "How do I look?"

"Very handsome, sire," Fen said, watching him from the side, an itinerary in one hand. His secretary was bedecked in an elegant and elaborate outfit of light red, with more embroidery at the cuffs than his; he wasn't surprised. Fen was a bit of a clothes horse. "The ladies will love being seen on your arm."

Zuko pulled a face, an impending sense of doom rising over him that hadn't ceased since he'd woken up from a night of bad dreams. He'd spent most of his morning trying to explain to Fen where he'd gotten the bruise on his face, while desperately attempting to keep his mind off of the ball, the real-but-fake assassination plot and, as always, Suki.

"Don't look so down, Zuko," Fen said, dropping his usual politeness and patting him on the arm in commiseration. "You'll survive the night, I'd wager."

He made a monosyllabic sound that Fen took as agreement. Zuko shifted in place, tugging at his collar as if it were too tight. His clothing fit him perfectly though, and even he had to admit that the whole thing was rather striking on him.

"You're too handsome for your own good, nephew," said a voice just behind Fen, who jumped and turned on the source instantly. Zuko, who had seen him enter through the mirror, pulled his first real smile in days as he turned to face his uncle. "Is it any wonder the women of the Fire Nation are tearing themselves apart to marry you?"

"Hmmph. I'd be flattered, but they like the title, _not_ the man," Zuko said darkly as he looked at his uncle. It had been nearly a year since he'd seen him, and that had been too damned long. _I've been letting work get in the way of seeing him._ _I need to take more time off to visit him in Ba Sing Se. Or maybe I could bring him here more often._

Wearing a long robe of crimson and gold that strained a bit at the belly, Iroh looked dignified nonetheless. Time had added a few more lines to his uncle's face, and a few more pounds to his middle, but he looked as spritely as ever. There was a mischievous twinkle in his eyes as he surveyed Zuko from head to toe.

"Ahh yes, but a good man uses his resources wisely."

"Are you telling me to use my title to sleep with women?"

"I didn't say that," Iroh said, pulling him into a hug that was crushing. He whispered into Zuko's ear as he squeezed the breath out of him, "But I'm not saying you _shouldn't, _either. Of course, from what I hear, you already have a complicated love life…"

He released Zuko, whose head tipped back with a groan. Those damned rumors. He was seriously contemplating outlawing anyone slandering him…but that seemed like something his father might have done. As much as he disliked it, there wasn't much he could do about it.

"Uncle, I've missed you. I'm so glad you could come."

"Me too. It's been too long. And I hear a lot has happened recently. There are rumors…"

"I shudder to think of what you've heard. Or where you heard it, Uncle," he said, tipping his head back and catching the wide grin on Iroh's bearded face.

"I got into the city late last night and stayed at a hotel. It was all they could talk about in the tea shops of the capital," Iroh glanced at Fen, who was riffling through some papers at the desk. "You were attacked by an assassin?"

"Yes," he said, and glanced at Fen. Tonight's plot was supposed to be a secret, but he knew if there was anyone he could trust in the palace, besides Suki and Sokka, it was his Uncle Iroh. "Fen? Could you give us a moment?"

"Of course, Fire Lord Zuko. General Iroh, it is a pleasure to see you again," Fen said and started toward the door. He stopped and half-turned toward them, glancing at the itinerary in his hands. "I've taken the liberty to arrange your escort for the start of the ball. The Princess Azula and two of your bodyguards will be here in less than an hour to escort you down."

"Uhh, yes, thank you. That would be…lovely," Zuko said, glancing at Iroh, who had lifted one bushy white eyebrow at the mention of Azula's name. Fen nodded and closed the door of the suite behind him. He turned on Iroh.

"Your sister is here?" he asked with apprehension.

"Yes, and there's something I have to tell you," he said shortly and launched into the story of the assassination attempt, Azula and Sokka's undercover operation and their plans for tonight. When he finished, his Uncle was sitting on the edge of a chair, which creaked beneath his weight. He looked thoughtful, and worried.

"And you're sure this will draw out the mole within the palace?"

"If they think Sokka…_Tazeo_ will talk, then Azula says it will."

"Hmmm…" Iroh thought, stroking his beard. "But what do they want? To kill you and put Azula on the throne instead?"

"She doesn't think so. She thinks they dangled that carrot to get her to join them, but she thinks they're going to try and kill her too."

"And then the mole takes the throne?"

"I don't know, but according to Mai and from what Sokka and Azula have seen, they've been infiltrating my army. They oppose the Harmony Restoration Movement, but they're concentrating their efforts on taking down the Fire Nation, for whatever reason."

"And you trust Azula?"

The question rang in the air between them and Zuko sighed, sinking down into a chair. He put his elbows on his knees, leaning forward. He felt exhausted all of a sudden. "I trust Sokka, and for whatever reason, he trusts her. He's seen what these people can do. He knows how they operate. I have to trust the both of them."

"My niece is…not well."

"No, she's not," he admitted, thinking of his conversation with Sokka the night before. Guilt flooded him. "But I believe she wants to help. Or at least, I believe she doesn't me murdered by an assassin. Mai thought that too. And obviously so does Sokka."

"And what about Mai? If this whole plot is discovered, won't she be in danger?"

Zuko sat up straight. The thought hadn't occurred to him before, and he wondered why it hadn't. Mai had been risking her own safety to help him too, and he'd completely forgotten that. "I don't know. Mai's smart. She probably knows that…and she's always been able to take care of herself. Once we handle what's going on in the palace, I'll make sure she's safe."

Iroh nodded, looking thoughtful. "She came to me, your sister. About two years ago."

Zuko blinked. This was the first he'd heard of it, and the fact that his Uncle hadn't told him was mildly shocking. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know," he admitted softly, looking at his hands. "She came to the tea shop one rainy day, soaked to the skin. She was half-starved and she had a fever. I doctored her. She slept for three days and didn't say a word to me for five. She stayed another week, spoke little and ate a lot. She had nightmares that woke me, but wouldn't speak of them. I tried to get her to talk, but she would not. Then one morning before dawn I found her sneaking out. I gave her money and some food I had packed for her. And she left without a backwards glance. I expected her back eventually, but she never came. I've been worried about her ever since."

The guilty knot in his stomach tightened. What had Azula been up to since her disappearance? How had she lived before Mai had given her a mission? Worry turned his bandaged hand into a fist.

"I wish you had told me."

"And what would you have done, nephew? I offered to take her in, but she left. She was hurting…and though she and I have had our differences, she is my brother's daughter and I care about what happens to her. She will not take help if she does not want it."

"Maybe not…" A 'but' lingered in the air between them, unspoken. He smoothed his hands down his scarred face. "I'll handle Azula once I get through this crisis. Sokka thinks she's stable. For now. I'll trust his judgment."

"What do you want me to do?"

"Stay safe. I don't want to give my enemies another target. I know you can take care of yourself, Uncle, which is why I told you what's going on. I trust Sokka, I do, but not as much as I do you. And Suki."

Something in his uncle's expression changed, a frown forming on his lips in the tiniest of fractions.

"And how is Suki?"

Zuko sat back; of course his deflection away from the rumors about him and Suki hadn't worked. He colored, realizing that there was disapproval in Iroh's expression. "It's not what you think. It's…complicated…"

"We have a moment, why don't you uncomplicated it for me?" Iroh offered as the door opened without ceremony, letting in a lithe figure draped in vermilion. The dress was without ornamentation, with long sleeves, belted at the waist with a black satin sash. Her hair was free, tumbling down her back and shoulders in a glossy black curtain. The crown of her birthright was inserted into a small gathering of hair at the top of her head.

"Azula," he said, standing, as Iroh did the same. He was almost grateful for the interruption. Azula's gaze flicked from him to their uncle and back again. Her chin lifted and a haughty expression of indifference crossed her face.

"Hello, Zuko. Uncle," she said tartly. "I suppose you told him."

"Of course I did," Zuko said. "We could use another set of eyes in the ballroom."

"Hmmm…I suppose you're right," she drawled, walking forward. "Uncle, you look fatter than I remember."

"The ladies of Ba Sing Se enjoy feeding me!" he declared, patting his belly. "But you look lovely, Princess Azula."

Azula's gaze flicked to her gown, which wasn't half as fancy as even Iroh's robes; her cheeks colored and she lifted her chin again. "Yes, well, I've been traveling a lot lately. There isn't much time for shopping when you're trying to stop assassins from killing your brother. Your man Fen sent the crown to my room this morning. If you object to my wearing it…"

"No," he said quickly. "It's yours, Azula. Yours by all rights. You look beautiful," he said, glancing at his uncle, who was watching Azula with an odd expression on his face. "Is everything set? Is he ready?"

Azula nodded, and he saw a line of strain between her eyes. "Yes. If anything goes wrong tonight, it won't be because we weren't prepared. I just hope your girlfriend doesn't forget herself."

"Suki will do her part," he said tightly.

"Girlfriend?" Iroh interjected, but he sent him a quelling look.

"Later, Uncle," Zuko said, and took Azula's arm with his own. "I'm sure Fen is outside the door now, waiting for me to throw myself to the she-wolves…"

"Hmm…well, I passed Lady Shura in the hallway on my way up. She certainly looks predatory," Azula said, sounding almost like her old self. He wasn't sure what to make of her, to be honest. He remembered the way she had panicked the day before, the way Sokka had had to pry her hands from her face. He hoped that she didn't check out when he needed her the most. If this was going to work, he was going to have to trust his mentally ill sister.

And that had never worked out for him in the past.

Iroh fell into step with them as they made their way toward the door. "Lady Shura? Is she still pretending all of the men in the Nation want to sleep with her?"

"I'm afraid so," Zuko said, remembering things best left unremembered. He opened the door, and found two of his guards, Qing and Mei Lin, wearing the full Kyoshi uniform, standing on the other side, with Fen waiting patiently for his appearance.

"Oh good, I was about to fetch you," Fen said, nodding at him. "So the procedure is that we will go down to the upper gallery. Your bodyguards will flank you at all times. General Iroh, we will announce you first."

"I've been to too many of these things, I know the procedures," Iroh said, but there was no annoyance in his voice. He smiled at Fen, who nodded.

"Then we will announce you and the Princess Azula. You two will come down the stairs to the receiving line. There you will meet the ladies of the Nation. Once you are done with the line, you and Princess Azula will open the ball with the first dance. After that you may dance with whomever you wish."

The sharp look Fen gave him told him that opting out of dancing altogether was not going to work. His lip curled.

"Understood."

"You won't be expected to address all of your guests until later in the evening. At a quarter to seven, I will come find you. You'll give your speech at eight o'clock sharp. I have your speech already written." He indicated a golden card, which he slipped into the front of his robes. "Then there will be more dancing until late into the night. You'll be expected to attend until at least midnight."

_Not if there's an assassination attempt I won't_, he thought smugly. Poor Fen. He'd been at the head of the planning committee for the ball. He and Sokka were about to utterly destroy all of his secretary's hard work. Zuko almost felt sorry for him, but then he thought of all the women he wouldn't have to dance with and decided that he'd get over it.

"Understood," he said. He glanced at his sister, who was watching him with an unreadable expression on her face.

"Can you even dance?" she asked derisively.

Zuko smiled to himself. "Of course I can."

_And I had a great teacher,_ he thought as Iroh went ahead of them, with Fen leading the whole procession. He nodded at Mei Lin and Qing, who would be his only visible bodyguards tonight. The other Warriors were all in Fire Nation clothes, to better blend in with the crowd, for his protection. At the bottom of the long, winding staircase, the sound a thousand voices floated up and out of the ballroom. Soft music flowed through the air, along with the faint sound of tinking plates and clinking glasses. Nervousness filled him and he clenched his sweaty fists, the urge to run growing in his guts.

He could face down enemies and assassins, but social gatherings where everyone would be looking at him were another matter entirely.

"Who punched you?" Azula asked him quietly, so the others wouldn't hear her.

"Who do you think?" he shot at her. "It was nothing I didn't deserve."

"But they broke up. Isn't that convenient for you?"

"And you."

She laughed softly. "And who said I even wanted him?"

He was barely aware of reaching the upper gallery. There was a short hallway that led to a balcony that overlooked the gigantic, seldom-used ballroom. The light of a thousand burning fires in sconces along the walls and gigantic braziers created a warm, bright glow. Someone was announcing the names of the nobility as they arrived.

He heard the announcer call his Uncle's name, and heard the applause as Iroh disappeared around the corner, leaving him with Azula on his arm. Finally, the applause died down and they announced first Azula's name and then his. Azula started forward, but his weight tugged her back.

She stopped and glanced back at him with exasperation. "Honestly, Zuko. You're the Fire Lord!"

He girded himself and stepped forward out of the dark hallway, Qing and Mei Lin a few steps behind him. He passed Fen, who nodded at him.

The applause was thunderous and overwhelming. So was the light. Below him, he saw as he walked past the balcony and toward the stairs, was a sea of reds in every shade, blacks, grays, and rich, glossy golds, winking jewels and upturned faces. His people.

He kept in step with Azula as they walked down the stairs. Some people in the crowd were staring at Azula, whispering behind their hands at her mysterious reemergence in the palace. No doubt the rumors of her arrival had already spread like wildfire, but hearing about it and seeing her firsthand were entirely separate things.

It seemed all eyes were on his sister at the moment, and for a half-second he was grateful not to be the center of everyone's attention, but then he noticed the way Azula's arm tightened on his, and the way her red mouth was pinched at the corners.

"Azula?" he asked as they made their way down the stairs slowly, the applause carrying them down. "Are you okay?"

But she didn't answer. When they got to the bottom of the stairs, she didn't let him go, and he fought the urge to put an arm around her, to protect her from the curious looks and whispered comments. Anger filled him. No matter what she had done in the past that was no way to treat a princess. Fen appeared at his other elbow and bowed toward the line of men and women stretching around the perimeter of the ballroom.

Fen announced the names of the first people in line, a minor Count, his wife, and (predictably) daughter. Zuko steeled himself, smiled politely at them and kissed the hands of both mother and daughter, both of whom blushed, the daughter nearly shivering in place at his attentions. Azula, playing her part better than he'd expected after seeing the strain on her face, politely greeted both the Count and his wife. She ignored the girl.

He sighed to himself as he promised the daughter a dance. It was going to be a long evening.

He couldn't wait until Sokka tried to kill him.

* * *

Suki passed through the crowds, watching as Zuko bent over hand after hand. He smiled politely at each girl presented to him, promising dances to each one. Most of them he didn't even look in the eye. A few he did though. She noticed that he lingered over the hand of a particularly beautiful young woman, who looked radiant in white silk, with large lotus flowers embroidered in red and gold. In a sea of red she stood out, but Suki had a feeling that even if she'd been wearing a burlap sack, she might have stood out.

Suki recognized her one of the girls she'd gotten into an argument with in the hallway. She was the tallest of the girls, the one who had shouted something about her father.

Their insults still rankled, and the sight of Zuko smiling at her made her want to stalk over to them and punch the girl in the face, then grab Zuko and drag him out of the ballroom.

Instead, she just stood there, half-hidden behind two portly men smelling strongly of wine.

"That's Councilor Guo's youngest daughter," one of the men whispered to the other, both of them ignoring her. "Beautiful, isn't she? If anyone's catching the Fire Lord tonight, it'll be Cara."

Suki's teeth ground together as she watched Cara say something to Zuko, something that had Zuko smiling. He kissed her hand again and then moved on to the next people in line, leaving Councilman Guo's daughter to smile smugly to herself.

No wonder she'd threatened Suki with her father. Guo was probably the most respected member of the Council. Everyone listened to him, and though she had never heard him say anything rude to her, or about her, she had always had the feeling that Guo disliked her presence at the Council meetings.

As Zuko moved on down the line, she saw Cara turn to her father, who had been standing back out of the direct line of sight, which was why she hadn't noticed him at first.

_Or maybe I was watching Zuko a little too hard,_ she thought to herself as she turned her attention on Azula, who was playing her part well. There was nothing but confidence in her greetings, and grace in her smile. Hopefully nothing would trigger the episode she had witnessed in Zuko's suite; their plan needed Azula if it was going to succeed.

"The Princess looks rather ill," the portly man in front of her said, drawing her out of her thoughts. She'd heard lots of whispers about Azula since she'd appeared at the top of the stairs on Zuko's arm. Apparently the rumors of her return had spread as quickly as the rumors of what had transpired on Zuko's balcony that night. And with less accuracy.

She'd already heard a dozen different tales, whispered behind bejeweled hands, that Azula was there to find a husband. That she was moving back into the palace. That she had murdered the Earth King, that she had ridden completely naked through the streets of Ba Sing Se on the Earth King's stolen bear. That she was pregnant with the Avatar's first child. That she was seeking asylum after committing a string of murders on each continent. That she was holding Zuko hostage. That _she_ had come to marry Zuko before anyone else could.

_Honestly, where do they come up with this shit?_

"Well, I've heard a lot of rumors since her arrival yesterday. It seems she came here with a rather rough-looking fellow. Covered in tattoos. My groomsman was in the livery when they came in. The Seneschal himself came down to inspect and question them."

"They stopped the princess at the gate, like a commoner?" his friend exclaimed in surprise. Suki listened with half an ear, watching Zuko moving down the line, which was getting rapidly smaller. The people he had already greeted were mingling in the crowd. Soon it would be time to start the ball properly. She wondered how nervous Zuko was getting, knowing that he was going to have to dance in front of everyone.

"Of course they stopped her! The last time she was in the Fire Nation, she went crazy and tried to kill the Fire Lord, the Avatar and her own mother. She's a danger to society."

"They should have kept her locked up in that asylum."

"Like any good family of breeding would," his friend agreed. "Such things are best kept under rug swept. If she were my child I would have left her there and more's the pity. She's a beautiful woman and just the right age to please a man." He dug a knowing elbow into his friend's fat ribs.

"Too bad she's insane. And as likely to kill you as kiss you."

"Do you suppose the Fire Lord would sell her off to the highest bidder? Seems to me he might want her off of his hands, and the sooner the better."

"You couldn't afford her, Toshi."

And they both laughed. Suki's lips curled back over her teeth and nose wrinkled. She wasn't Azula's biggest fan, but she didn't like how the men in front of her were talking about her. She glared at their wide backsides and started to move on, when one of them said, "Well, regardless of your noble and carnal intentions toward our beloved princess, I believe she's already spoken for. My groomsman didn't like the look of her companion though. He said he didn't know why the Seneschal allowed him entry. He looked like a dangerous man."

"Intriguing… Is he in the crowd, you think?"

"I don't know…"

_He'd better not be. Not yet, anyway_, she thought with some amusement.

Suki walked on, keeping an eye on Zuko the whole time. Her thoughts were turned inward though, as she circled the room. She spotted her other Warriors in the crowd, nodding at them when she caught their eye. They were blending in well. They'd taken her mandate about wearing Fire Nation clothing seriously, and were draped in reds and golds. They looked beautiful. Ty Lee looked especially lovely, and was surrounded by a crowd of men who watched her with lust in their gazes. But Ty Lee wasn't paying them any attention.

She only had eyes for one person. Suki didn't have to follow her gaze to know who Ty Lee was watching with her heart in her eyes. Azula was still moving down the receiving line, her back mostly to the crowd. That didn't matter. Ty Lee looked gutted, caught between fleeing and staying rooted to the spot. There was even fear there, more than a bit of it and Suki was unsurprised to see it in the acrobat's expression; Ty Lee had once admitted to her that Azula scared her to death.

But that hadn't stopped her from falling in love with her; it had only made the whole thing a thousand times worse.

Pity welled in her. She hadn't thought about what Azula's sudden reappearance might do to Ty Lee. The woman had gone through a lot the past few years. Coming out had not been easy for her; the rumor mill of the palace had ripped her to shreds and she'd been labeled a sexual deviant, something Suki had found a bit shocking.

In the Earth Kingdom, being gay was socially acceptable and hardly spared a second thought. She'd been raised to accept others as they were, but in the Fire Nation, it seemed, such things were not to be spoken of, and those found to be "abnormal" were to be ostracized from polite society.

The Council had gotten wind of the whole scandal and had tried to get Zuko to intervene—by firing Ty Lee. It had been one of the only times, save the other morning, after the attack on the balcony the other day, that Suki had seen him yell at his council. Zuko had signed a law protecting the rights of homosexuals, something, she remembered fondly, that had made Ty Lee weep openly on Zuko's shoulder for a good hour.

Since then, the people of the Fire Nation had relaxed their stance a bit, but not so much that Ty Lee didn't still suffer from the occasional scandalous rumor. To her credit, she took it on the chin and rolled with it. Suki admired her for that, and a dozen things more.

She smiled to herself, remembering the look on Zuko's face as he'd held Ty Lee while she'd sobbed. He'd looked up at her for help, but she'd only had a smile for him. She'd felt so proud of him in that moment, so terribly, wonderfully proud to call him her friend, to watch him become a man who was proud of the things he had accomplished, who could and did change the world, simply because it was the right thing to do. And because it would help one of his dear friends.

_And that's the moment I fell in love with him._

The thought entered her mind, completely unbidden, and she stopped dead in her tracks. Tears sprang into her eyes and she felt the world tilting beneath her. She knew it was true. Even though that had been over two years ago. Even though he had still been dating Mai at the time. Even though she had still been with Sokka.

She'd been trying not to think of Sokka. She'd cried herself to sleep last night, mourning what she had lost. It had hurt more than she'd realized, breaking up with him. The lingering heat from his last kiss hadn't left her, but once she'd calmed down, she'd known that there had been finality in it. Maybe there was a way to repair the damage between them, but she knew that neither of them truly wanted to. They had moved on.

_I've moved on, _she thought, her gaze sliding from Azula to Zuko, who kissed the back of another girl's hand. There were only two more families standing in the receiving line and she saw with a groan that the infamous Lady Shura was standing at the very end.

The woman, who was fifty if she was a day, was still beautiful, with ebony hair that had to be artificially colored, because there wasn't even a hint of gray in it. She had an expansive bosom, her dress draped in a way to show off her ample assets so that no one in the room could miss them. She wasn't thin, but she wasn't fat either. Her curves were soft, hinting at a sensual beauty that she was clinging to with tooth and nail. Her makeup was heavy, though flattering. Rubies draped her like glittering drops of blood.

Suki moved closer, jealousy roaring through her as she watched Zuko kiss the hand of another girl she recognized from the altercation in the hallway: the girl with the orange blossom in her hair. She was wearing another one in her hair tonight, and she giggled and jiggled in place as Zuko said something to her. Then he moved on and Lady Shura practically put her red nails right in him.

The smile on Zuko's face was brittle as he bent and kissed Lady Shura's hand, but she yanked him forward. He nearly tripped over his own feet as she did, and his face came inches from smacking straight into the woman's infamous décolletage. He caught himself at the last second, his eyes widening as he straightened, but Lady Shura brought him in close and whispered something in his ear that made him turn bright red.

He mumbled something and moved off, leaving Lady Shura looking smugly proud of herself, though when she turned her head, she caught Suki staring at her through the crowd. Recognition hit her and she got a nasty expression on her face, no doubt remembering Suki tossing her out of Zuko's suite stark naked. Not once, but _twice._

Feeling pretty smug herself, Suki watched Lady Shura disappear into the crowd as Fen stepped up to Zuko and Azula. At some unspoken signal, the orchestra stopped the soft music it had previously been playing, which had run through the crowd in a soothing undercurrent. Now they struck a loud, soaring chord, bows scraping strings. The announcer at the top of the stairs, his voice ringing out loud and clear over the din, said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, Fire Lord Zuko and Princess Azula will now open the ball with a dance."

Suki saw Zuko's face pale as he offered his arm to Azula, who took it, a bland expression on her face. Suki bit down on her lip, watching as he led her to the center of the ballroom, where everyone made a large space for them.

The orchestra struck another chord, and then the music began in earnest. It floated through the air like gossamer threads, enticing and electrifying the people of the Fire Nation. Zuko glanced down at his feet once, and Suki mentally told him to look up. A second later he did, and then he and Azula were dancing, moving in the uncomplicated steps she had shown him, his back upright, arms stiff, but not unyielding, his head up, his steps precise, but flowing.

Pride swelled in her and she found herself smiling widely as she watched him dancing. As loathe as Suki was to admit it, Azula was a good dancer too, and seemed surprised that Zuko wasn't tripping all over himself. Suki couldn't help but feel jealous though.

She wanted to dance with him, and to hell with the rest of the women there. Memories of his hands on her waist, his eyes on her as they'd danced together came to her and she felt a flush of heat hit her cheeks that quickly turned to an inferno as his dance with Azula came to an end. Almost immediately the crowd surged forward, partners finding each other.

The orchestra started playing another song, and she saw a man she didn't know claim a dance from Azula, while a familiar figure in white materialized at Zuko's elbow. He smiled at Guo's daughter and they started dancing.

Suki, standing on the edge of the dance floor, vibrated in place. She stepped forward and stopped herself. She was vaguely aware of a roaring in her ears. She watched Cara flash a seductive smile at Zuko and saw him smiling at her in return as they turned on the dance floor, his hand on her slender waist.

She wanted to march over there and punch the girl right in her perfect teeth, but she swayed in place instead, letting her rage simmer.

"Doesn't she look perfect with him?" someone simpered on her left. Suki started, and glanced at the girl with the orange blossom in her hair. She didn't seem to be paying any attention to Suki, though she knew that her comment had been directed at her. "Certainly better than a Dirt Girl bodyguard ever could."

Suki didn't say anything, determined not to rise to the girl's bait.

"Cara's going to marry him, you know. Her father's determined she's going to be Fire Lady."

"Doesn't that leave you out in the cold?" she shot at the girl, and immediately regretted it.

"Oh, I'll find someone soon enough. I don't really want a freak with a great big scar on his face, Fire Lord or not. Cara doesn't mind the scar, so long as he buys her pretty things. And Cara always gets her way, so I don't doubt he'll empty the royal coffers to get her whatever she wants." Orange blossom girl sounded only slightly bitter. No doubt she had gotten used to playing second fiddle to her friend from an early age.

"Do you really think Zuko won't see right through her?" she said through her teeth.

"Do you really think you're good enough for the Fire Lord?" the girl shot at her. "The whole Nation is disgusted by your affair. He's slumming it and you know it. Cara's of high birth. Her father is respected. And she's beautiful. What are you? You're nothing but a minor inconvenience to a girl like Cara. Once she gets her claws in him, he won't even remember your name, Dirt Girl. Just like the rest of us."

And with that, the girl stalked away, leaving Suki feeling gutted, angry and kicking herself for rising to the girl's bait. She should have walked away.

And she should never have tossed a knife at the girl.

"Dammit," she said, watching Zuko spinning Guo's daughter in an elaborate circle through the other dancers. They were doing the Phoenix Waltz, a dance she and Zuko had practiced for hours. Her heart ached as she watched them coming closer and closer. The music swelled and Zuko ended the dance on the dip—just had she shown him—right in front of her.

Cara laughed breathlessly as Zuko dipped her down.

"Oh my! I didn't know you were such a good dancer!" she said in a voice completely unlike the one she had used on Suki in the hallway. Suki tried to control the expression on her face as Zuko pulled her back upright.

"Thank you. I had a good…teacher…" His voice trailed off as he looked past Cara's shoulder and met Suki's gaze for the first time that night. Suki stared back for a moment, noticing the way his hand was still on Cara's back. A cavalcade of emotions tumbled through her. She knew from the look on his face, and, she noticed, from the bruise on his cheek, that Sokka had told him everything. He knew they had broken up. What was he thinking? Was he thinking anything at all? Did he even care?

All of a sudden, Orange Blossom Girl's voice rang in her ears, taunting her. _Do you really think you're good enough for the Fire Lord?_

Zuko's mouth opened and he started to say something, but Suki turned on her heel and fled, disappearing into the crowd. She didn't look back. She couldn't.

* * *

Zuko was vaguely aware of Guo's daughter speaking in his ear, her breath against his neck, but she might as well have been a mosquito, as annoying as he found her. He brushed her off of him impatiently as another girl appeared out of nowhere to claim a dance from him.

He barely paid any attention to the girl, or the way Guo's daughter walked away in a huff. His gaze was on the crowd, searching for the woman who had slipped away into it, a hurt expression on her face. He had no idea why that hurt look was in Suki's eyes, but he had a feeling he had done something to cause it.

He couldn't get her image out of his head.

She'd looked beautiful, draped in a rich red dress, silk and satin, fitted to her hips, with a slit up the side he had a feeling she had chosen for its ability to fight in rather than how flattering it might look on her. It _was _flattering though, and he'd always liked her in red. The gold swirls on the red silk had dazzled him like nothing anyone else had worn had. She hadn't worn any jewels. She hadn't needed any.

He danced like an automaton, moving in time to a beat he didn't feel, to music he couldn't hear, with a girl he barely acknowledged. He tried to find Suki in the crowd again, looking past the girl in his arms, but he couldn't find her.

The large clock on the wall told him that he had forty minutes until he was supposed to make his speech. A half-hour until this whole thing could be over. He spotted Azula dancing with Counselor Osamu. She too glanced up at the clock, then at him.

Somewhere, Sokka was preparing for his speech. But where was Suki?

Two more girls appeared before he could beg off for a bit of fresh air. As soon as he was free of them, he grabbed a glass of what proved to be something alcoholic, slugged it back with a fortifying gulp and then looked around for Suki as a servant took the empty glass from him.

It was hot in the ballroom. Though the large doors to the veranda were open, the breeze that came into the room was sultry and smelled of volcanic ash from the long-extinct caldera. The large fires illuminating the massive room repelled anyone who got too near them. Sweat popped out on the back of his neck. He needed a moment, somewhere to collect his thoughts and cool down.

He turned toward one of the smaller side hallways jutting off of the ballroom, one he knew led to a small, seldom-used bathroom. He fully intended to splash some water on his face and take a moment away from the noise and chaos.

Guo stopped him as he passed. "I see you've met my daughter, Cara."

_Was that her name?_ he thought to himself. He'd lost it the moment she'd said it, but when she'd told him that she was the daughter of one of his Councilor's, he'd made an effort to be polite to her. "Oh yes. She's very nice."

"She's quite taken with you."

"If you'll excuse me, I need to use the restroom," he said quickly, and darted down the hallway. He hoped that Guo wouldn't follow him, and was relieved when he didn't. He rounded the corner of the dimly lit hallway, and stopped when he nearly knocked into a figure standing against the wall. "Suki…?"

Suki's head shot up and her gaze hit his. Her eyes were wet, but she didn't look like she'd been crying. Instead she was stunned to see him, her mouth opening and closing as he stepped close to her, unable to stop himself.

The scent of her perfume tantalized his senses, warming him like the alcohol had.

"Zuko…" she started, her gaze searching his. "What are you doing here? Where are your guards?"

"I don't know…" he mumbled, his gaze on her mouth. "What are you doing here?"

"I don't know."

And then they both reached for each other.


	11. Part XI

**PART XI:**

* * *

Kissing Zuko was like jumping off a mountain. The world seemed to rush past her in confusing, exhilarating waves as her arms locked around his neck, her mouth slamming to his so hard it was almost painful. They stumbled a little as his hands tugged her against his long, lean length. Her shoulders hit the wall at her back as she groaned into the heat of his mouth.

Zuko, for his part, readjusted, putting one hand on the wall and pushing them flush against it. She lifted up on tiptoes, opening her mouth to his. His tongue teased her and then retreated, almost asking her to follow him, not demanding, but offering.

She didn't just follow him. She _chased _him, the tip of her tongue tracing the outline of his lips with a teasing caress. He opened to her eagerly, one hand sneaking up to gather in the hair at the back her neck. His breath rolled against her open mouth as he withdrew for a split second, and then kissed her again, a moan knocking out of his throat at the same time.

Her heart thundered in her chest, her pulse racing out of control as her head spun. She hadn't imagined it. As woozy and wracked with pain as she'd been on the balcony that night, a knife in her shoulder, she hadn't imagined how he'd made her feel.

Zuko's kisses were sinful, addictive and hungry. As her tongue slid against his, drawing his tongue into her mouth, she felt shivers race through her. Her knees shook, threatening to buckle. He had her though. She knew he'd catch her if she fell.

She hadn't meant for this to happen. She'd only wanted a moment alone to collect her thoughts, and suddenly he had just been there. Alone.

She couldn't remember which one of them had reached for the other first. It hardly mattered. She'd known what she wanted the moment he'd come around the corner, the second their gazes had met. What she'd wanted for a very, very long time…

But time had no meaning here, locking in his embrace. The ball seemed very far away, for all that they were only twenty feet or so from the bright lights and soaring orchestra. Zuko's lips teased hers as he pulled back again. She let out a shaky breath, her fingers threading in the hair that had escaped his topknot at the back of his neck.

"Zuko…" she managed, feeling his nose brush against hers. Then he kissed her again, and she was immediately lost in the sweet rush of him. Little fires of delight ignited along her nerves and she lifted up on tiptoe, trying, in some way, to sink beneath the surface of his blazing hot skin. He kissed her, deep and rough, telling her without words how much he wanted her.

Telling her that he knew about Sokka.

Guilt sparked in her, but she pushed it down, one hand clutching the front of his robes, holding him to her with a desperate feeling. She didn't want him to stop. If he stopped she might explode. The memory of him in the arms of Guo's daughter made her kiss him all the harder.

_Do you really think you're good enough for the Fire Lord?_

The words echoed in her ears, making her shake in his arms. He tightened his hold on her as she moaned into his mouth, angling her head into his. Her lips were stinging, her head buzzing from adrenaline and arousal. His body practically vibrated against hers, his hips pressing into hers with a rough grind.

A groan left him as their mouths parted. He immediately attached to her neck, teeth scoring her pulse point, sending thrills exploding down her sides, tingling in her nipples and spiraling lower, right into the heart of her.

"So beautiful," he managed, breathing hard as his mouth made little red prints on her neck. She grasped his head and pulled his mouth back to hers, feeling wild, out of control. The kiss she gave him was carnal, her teeth scoring his lower lip and tugging on it. His eyes blazed in the dim lighting as she released him. Then he kissed her again, the back of her head pressing hard against the wall.

Her hips shifted against his, and he gave let out a stuttering exhale against her mouth as his body reacted. His hand slipped down, into the slit in her dress, hand spreading on the outside of her upper thigh and lifting it up around his muscular thigh. Her whole body thrilled at his touch, at the possessive promises that simple gesture was making, at the way the fires beneath her skin turned into a roaring blaze.

She kissed him even harder, their bodies shifting against each other's in a hard, carnal grind against the wall.

"_A-hem!_ I'm so sorry to interrupt, Fire Lord Zuko…" a cultured male voice said in disapproving tones, causing Suki to have a mini-heart attack. She jumped in Zuko's arms, her mouth leaving his with a gasp as she turned her head toward the source. Councilman Guo stood in the corridor looking unfazed by the scene he'd rounded the corner and come upon. She hadn't even heard him coming. So much for her situational awareness.

"_Fuck_," Zuko growled, turning to his councilor with an angry expression on his face. "What do you want, Guo?"

Instead of looking contrite or embarrassed, which was what Suki had totally expected of him, Zuko reacted to Guo's unwanted intrusion with blazing-hot anger, his lipstick-smudged lips pulling back over his teeth in a snarl. Guo lifted one iron-gray eyebrow and glanced from Suki to Zuko and back again.

"Fen was looking for you. It seems the time has come for you to make a speech to your guests."

"_Motherfu_—" Zuko bit out, stepping back 'from her just a little bit, though he didn't let go of her. "Tell him I'll be right there."

"Of course, sire," Guo said, with a respectful nod, though he was staring at Suki in open disapproval. "I'll relay your message. You might consider making yourself more…_presentable_."

"_GO_," Zuko snarled, breathing hard, looking as if he wanted to set the man on fire. Suki kind of knew how he felt. Guo bowed again, turned smartly on his heel and disappeared around the corner. Zuko exhaled and turned back to face her.

Their gazes met with a spark and she knew that he wanted nothing more than to sink against her again. She wanted that too, but the spell had been broken, and reality was starting to filter back. Their careful plans were waiting, and there they were, groping like horny teenagers.

Zuko's angry gaze softened as he lifted his hand, brushing back her hair. "Suki…"

"We can talk about…_everything…_later, okay? They're all waiting. It's time," she said, pushing herself off of the wall and dropping her arms from his body. She let out a breath that was none-too-steady, her knees still knocking together a little.

"Of course," he said, and tugged at his clothing, surreptitiously readjusting himself. He wiped a hand down his face, smearing the traces of her lipstick down his chin. She laughed, a little giddy and reached out wiping it from his face gently.

He captured her fingers when she started to lower arm and their hands twisted together in a tight clench. "I don't want to go out there."

"You have to."

Zuko nodded; it was nothing he hadn't already known. He pulled her in close to him and tucked his face against her neck for one brief moment. She felt another bone-deep thrill slide through her as he breathed in her scent and landed a hot, wet kiss in the hollow just below her ear. "When this is all over…"

"Yes," she said thickly as he withdrew. "When it's over…"

Zuko kissed her again, slowly, his thumb tilting her chin up. It was over too quickly though, and he slid away, marching away from her with forced purpose in his steps, as if afraid of what he might do if he didn't walk away immediately.

His sudden abandonment left her reeling, spun about in a sea of confusion, want and aching need. Her hands, sweaty, missing the feel of him, clenched at her sides. She bit her swollen, smudged lips and breathed out, trying to make her heart stop racing.

Her respite was as brief as his kiss though. Her eyes flew open and she checked the fan holstered to her thigh, squared her shoulders and then marched back into the ballroom.

She had a job to do and the whole of the Fire Nation depended on it. Her complicated love life was just going to have to wait.

* * *

Azula pushed away from the slightly damp hands of Councilor Osamu, who had spent the better part of their dance asking asinine questions about her travels. She had started to feel overwhelmed, the need to flee from the bright lights in the ballroom and find someplace quiet, some place that hostile eyes wouldn't leer at her, and whispers wouldn't follow her wherever she went.

_I have to focus. Sokka told me to focus. I can't fall apart tonight. I can't check out…_

But the urge to retreat into that safe place she had created away from the chaos of her life was too tempting, her instincts too close to the surface. She closed her eyes as Osamu, who hadn't noticed her retreat, babbled in her ear about arranging an advantageous marriage to one of his cousins. She hadn't been paying attention to most of what he'd been saying, but she had a feeling he was making the offer to marry her off.

The idea was laughable.

He touched her shoulder with his damp hands and she jerked away from him, fire suddenly in her hand. "Don't touch me," she snarled, whirling on him with a hot swipe that had her brother's councilor stumbling back into another couple dancing beside them. Rage welled in her.

There were too many people. Too many expectations. Too much pain.

"Princess Azula, I didn't mean any offense," Osamu was saying, but she ignored him. People were staring at her, whispering. She heard someone call her crazy. She breathed hard, fighting the urge to throw a handful of blue flame at the whisperer.

Didn't they know who she was? Didn't they remember their princess? They had feared her once. Respected her. And then everything had unraveled. Her father was gone, locked away. Her mother was a woman she didn't recognize, with the family she had wanted more than she had wanted her daughter. Her brother was a stranger. She was nothing now. Insane. Unhinged. Broken.

_A baby-killer._

She bit down on her lower lip until blood burst across her tongue with a salty hot tang.

_Not my fault. Not my fault. Not my fault…_

Panic filled her, chasing the blood with a bitter sting and she felt it surging over her with its sick, familiar swell. The flames in her hands crackled and gushed, promising pain. Memories spilled across her vision.

_The fear on their faces was so familiar. How those men who had hurt her had pleaded when they'd seen what she was, what she could do… How everything had burned beneath her hands. There had been nothing but flame and screams and in the midst of the hell storm; a woman wailing in agony that went beyond the burns on her skin…that went to her soul…_

_Not my fault…not my fault…not my fault…_

A hand slipped around her waist, face pressing into her neck.

"What's real?" Sokka whispered against her neck as his familiar scent filled her. She took a deep breath and the memories faded to distant, half-remembered nightmares. "What's real, Azula?"

"You're real," she whispered, dropping her hands as Sokka's arms tightened around her, keeping her grounded and in the present.

"I'm real. Come back to me," he said, his breath warm and reassuring against her ear. She blinked, and the panic attack faded with a mewling whimper. She found herself staring at a small circle of her brother's courtiers, with Osamu chief among them, looking at her with fear and apprehension.

"You'll have to forgive Princess Azula," Sokka said smoothly, his arms still around her. "She's easily excitable."

"And who are you?"

Sokka pulled a sharp smile, so unlike his usual, easy grin. Sunk deep within his Tazeo guise, he carried himself differently, with swagger and deadly intention. Azula had seen men and women alike cower at his approach. He looked like a dangerous man, one who could kill at a moment's notice. Even his eyes were hard.

"I'm her bodyguard," he said and took a menacing step toward Osamu. "And I didn't like how you were putting your hands all over her."

"Tazeo, back off," she said smartly just as the orchestra finished the song with a flourish, leaving the crowd around them to burst into applause. The people around them were still watching Azula with wary disquiet, although they seemed more frightened of Sokka now. Osamu's gaze narrowed on him for a moment and then he turned his face toward the stairs, where Zuko standing beside his dandy of a secretary, the two Kyoshi Warriors who had been guarding him openly all night—both of them looking angry about something—and the servant who had announced everyone's arrival.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the Fire Nation, our honored host, Fire Lord Zuko!" the servant said, and bowed as he stepped back to give Zuko the stage.

Sokka's arms tightened on her again.

"Are you ready?" he whispered against her skin as the crowd in the ballroom applauded Zuko. Her brother looked pale and a little disheveled. Azula nodded and she felt Sokka's hand slip into her large sleeve. He pulled the dagger she had strapped to her forearm and she felt him tensing.

Zuko's gaze searched through the crowd until he met her gaze. He saw Sokka and took a deep breath, glancing down at the card in his hand. Sokka very slowly pulled the knife from her sleeve, palming it out of sight.

"Thank you all for attending tonight. It is my greatest pleasure to host the finest men and women of the Fire Nation and welcome to welcome you all into my home. I have long sought to bring peace and joy to my people, and I hope tonight will spark the fires of celebration throughout the Nation." There was a smattering of applause and Zuko handed the card back to Fen, and then held up his hands for silence. Fen looked surprised as the crowd hushed again. "I just want to take this moment to say that I'm extremely grateful for all of the hard work done by the servants in my employ. Without them, we would have nothing. Their hard work is greatly appreciated."

There was a muttering in the crowd and Azula smirked to herself. Trust Zuko to thank the _help. _Most of the people in the room probably didn't even know the names of servants who had worked for them their whole lives. Actually thanking them for their service wouldn't even occur to them. It just simply wasn't done.

"I'd also like to thank my family for joining me tonight. My Uncle Iroh has traveled here all the way from Ba Sing Se. It's a pleasure to have him back with us," Zuko said, gesturing to their Uncle, who held up his steaming cup of tea in acknowledgement. He was surrounded by a bevy of older women. Azula rolled her eyes.

"The pleasure is all mine!" Iroh said, to general laughter.

Zuko clapped with everyone else, and then said as he turned to find her in the crowd again, "And of course, my sister, Princess Azula, has come back to the Fire Nation after many years away. I just wanted to say how wonderful it is to have you back with us and to tell you that you are always welcome here. This is your home and always will be," Zuko said seriously, and the polite smile on Azula's face slowly slid off. She stared at Zuko, forgetting for moment where they were, and what was about to happen.

A polite applause flowed around the ballroom and faded quickly. Apparently word of the small altercation she'd had with Osamu and Sokka had gotten around quickly. Or else the people of the Fire Nation hadn't forgotten her myriad of crimes.

Her chin lifted. "Thank you."

Zuko nodded at her and then turned back to face his people. "And with that being said, please…everyone…enjoy yourselves."

That was the signal.

Sokka kissed the back of her neck, sending shivers down her spine. Then he released her and started toward the stairs as Zuko walked down them, his attention seemingly on the crowd, and not on the strange man walking purposefully toward him.

Sokka pulled out the knife. It flashed in the air and someone screamed. At the last second, Zuko's attention snapped to Sokka and an alarmed look came over his face. Sokka swiped at him with the knife, and Zuko stumbled back into the Kyoshi Warriors who had followed him down the stairs. The two women fell back as Sokka advanced on Zuko with a snarl.

"ASSASSIN!" someone shouted in near hysterics.

"DEATH TO THE FIRE LORD!"

"I don't think so!" Suki said, coming out of nowhere, just as Sokka was about to bring the knife down into Zuko's heart. She had her fan out, the gold glinting in the bright lights. The fan caught the edges of the knife and knocked it away, though he still kept it in his hand.

"Bitch!" he snarled, and went for her.

Suki avoided the knife slash, catching his wrist with her forearm and turning the blow. They wrestled for a moment and then her foot came up and she kicked him in the chest. He stumbled down the stairs, straight into Azula.

Sokka's arm immediately went around her and he wrapped his other hand up in her hair and yanked her head back. He put the knife to her throat as she struggled.

"What are you doing? Let me go!"

"AZULA!" Zuko exclaimed in shock as the crowd gave a collective gasp and people stumbled away from them in confusion.

"Someone call the guards!" someone shouted in a commanding voice. Azula didn't see who it was.

Seven red-clad figures came out of the crowd, golden fans opening with a flick. Azula recognized the Kyoshi Warriors instantly. The Kyoshi Warriors were the only people in the crowd with weapons, other than the Firebenders in attendance. The Firebenders looked too shocked by the sudden attack to do much of anything but stare in horror as the scene unfolded.

_Idiots._

"_Ah-ah_, ladies…" Sokka hissed at the women, pushing the knife into Azula's throat. "Try it and I'll open her throat. IF ANYONE TRIES ANYTHING I'LL FUCKING KILL HER!"

"You do that and you're dead where you stand," Zuko snarled from the stairs, flames dancing in his outstretched palms. The two Warriors in full uniform had stepped in front of him to protect him, but he elbowed them aside, standing shoulder to shoulder with Suki.

"Let her go, you bastard!"

Azula's brows lifted at the familiar voice and she spotted Ty Lee out of the corner of her eye, fear turning her face pale. She had a fan open and a short sword in her hand.

"Stay back, Ty Lee! Tazeo, what are you doing?" Azula said, struggling in his grip.

"What I've wanted to do since we met, you little bitch," he growled, tugging painfully on her hair. She was going to make him pay for that later. "You really think I was in love with you? I just wanted to get close to your brother! And you led me right to him!"

"BASTARD!" she screeched, tugging at the hand holding the knife. Sokka's breath was hot against her neck.

"Let her go! Take me instead!" Zuko said, charging down the stairs.

There was a general hue and cry at that, but Zuko ignored them. His face was red with rage, underlit by orange flame, making him look sinister and regal. For the first time, she realized that her brother wasn't the teenaged boy she remembered. He'd grown into a man since she'd been gone. And even though the attack was a fake she had a feeling that if someone really did try and hurt her, Zuko would turn into a dangerous man indeed.

That knowledge was strange and disorienting.

"No, Zuko stop!" Azula said.

"I don't know what you want," Zuko said as the Kyoshi Warriors flanked him. There was activity in the ballroom as the palace guards swooped in.

"Tell them to back off, Fire Lord, or I'll slit her pretty little throat right here, right now."

Zuko glared daggers at Sokka, and then nodded, though it was Suki who said, "Everyone stay back. That's an order."

The Kyoshi Warriors and palace guards stopped, eyes wary.

"Good, good…keep them all back, Fire Lord…"

"What do you want?" Zuko asked in a measured voice, making a staying gesture with his hand that Azula had a feeling wasn't directed at Sokka. "Gold?"

"I want you dead."

"That's not going to happen," Suki spit. "You're outnumbered. What did you think was going to happen? That'd you'd kill the Fire Lord in front of a thousand witnesses and get away with it?"

Sokka's voice rose in volume, so that everyone in attendance could hear him. "I never thought I'd get away it…but I had to try. The Smoke Demons don't allow for failures. I…I believe in the cause… You…you need to be stopped. For the good of the Fire Nation."

Zuko's gaze narrowed. "Are you willing to die for your cause?"

"Please, Tazeo…" Azula said, and he yanked her hair to silence her. Her scalp was starting to hurt. _He's going to pay for this later._

"I have no choice! If I fail the Smoke Demons will kill me!" he said.

"Not if I protect you," Zuko said. "I swear on my honor no harm will come to you within these palace walls. My dungeons are secure. I'll protect you from the Smoke Demons in exchange for my sister. And information."

"I won't tell you anything!"

Zuko smirked at him. "You will. Or I'll order Ty Lee to put that sword through your back. She could already have killed you ten times over. Suki could have put her dagger in your forehead from thirty paces and you would be dead before you could harm my sister. That they haven't done it yet is only because I've ordered them not to. I can be merciful. Can you say the same of your masters?"

"There is no mercy in the Smoke Demons. I have failed. My life is forfeit."

"Put down the knife," Suki said. "Put it down and let the princess go. Tell us what we want and your life will be spared."

"This I promise you," Zuko said solemnly.

Sokka hesitated for one moment, and then dropped the knife at his feet. Azula slammed her elbow back into his stomach and turned on him. She punched him across the face and he went down on his knees as Ty Lee and two other Warriors rushed at him. Ty Lee put her sword to his throat as the other two women caught his arms and held him, though he wasn't struggling.

"Asshole," Azula said as her uncle materialized out of the crowd and put his hand on her shoulder.

Zuko stepped up to him, kicking the knife away with a grim smile of satisfaction. Suki picked the knife up, her face a blank mask. Sokka lifted his chin, blood pouring out of his nose from where she had punched him.

"I'll tell you everything I know about the Smoke Demons."

"I'll be happy to hear it. Throw him in the dungeons until I'm ready to speak to him," Zuko commanded as the palace guards pushed the stunned crowd aside. They clamped him in irons, and dragged him to his feet as Ty Lee and the other Kyoshi Warriors backed off. He didn't struggle.

"Thank you for your mercy, Fire Lord," Sokka spat as they dragged him out of the room, but Zuko just glared after him for a moment. Then he turned his attention on Azula, who lifted her chin.

"Are you all right, Azula?"

"I think so."

"Good. Guards, arrest the princess!" Zuko commanded, pointing at her, and Azula's mouth fell open. She looked around, frantically, and then met her brother's gaze again. The only expression on his face was pity. The palace guards were stunned for a moment, and she heard Ty Lee's shout of shocked disbelief from behind her.

Then the guards moved in, clamping irons on her wrists before she could fight back. Iroh backed off, looking as shocked as she felt by the sudden turn of events.

"ZUKO! What are you doing?!" she hissed through her teeth.

"You brought an assassin into the palace and you want me to believe you didn't know what he had planned? You've tried to kill me before, Azula. I won't make the mistake of trusting you again. Put her in the dungeon in a cell beside her boyfriend's. I don't even want to look at her."

"ZUKO! ZUKO! NO! He lied to me! I didn't know!"

"TAKE HER AWAY!" Zuko bellowed, turning his back on her. Azula struggled, trying to get free of the hands dragging her out of the room.

"ZUKO!" she screamed over her shoulder at him, but there was no mercy in him to spare and her cries fell on deaf ears.

Just as planned.


End file.
